Together We Stand
by piratewench78
Summary: Deacon has rescued Maddie and now she's coming back home. What's next for the Claybourne/Jaymes/Conrad family as they try to get back to being a family?
1. Chapter 1

_**One of my reviewers suggested that I go beyond the missing scenes from the season 4 finale and write about what happens when the Claybourne/Jaymes/Conrad family gets home from NYC. So this is that story.**_

Rayna opened her eyes. It was still dark. Even as high up as they were, she could still hear the traffic noise far below them. It was true what they said – New York never slept. Seemed like she wouldn't either on this night. She smiled to herself as she thought of Maddie sleeping across the hall and then she felt her emotions sweep over her again, knowing that. When she had looked up to see Maddie with Deacon, she'd felt like she was in a parallel universe. But it had been real. He had brought their girl home.

She stretched a little and felt the pleasant soreness between her legs that spoke to too much time having gone by since they'd been together, as well as the roughness of the lovemaking. It was as though they couldn't get close enough, that so much tension had to be relieved. She couldn't get close enough, couldn't get him inside her enough, didn't want to let him go. She smiled again and turned over. But he wasn't there, and a chill ran down her spine.

She pushed herself up on the bed, the sheets sliding down her body to pool around her waist. "Deacon?" she called out. "Babe, where are you?" She felt anxious. She glanced at the couch but didn't see him. The room was gray, not quite pitch dark because of all the building lights beyond their hotel windows and the fact that the curtains didn't quite close it off.

Then she caught the sound of movement, a foot sliding on carpet, and he appeared at the half wall that gave partial privacy to the sleeping area. A sigh of relief ran through her. "I'm right here," he said. He walked around to her side of the bed and sat next to her. "Just couldn't sleep."

She peered at his face, shadowed in the darkness. She couldn't read his expression and she screwed up her face. "What's the matter?" she asked.

He shook his head and ran his knuckles down over her bare arm. "Just hard to turn everything off, you know?" he said.

She nodded. "I do know," she said. She ran her fingers over his face. "Thank you seems so inadequate, you know? But I'll never stop saying it."

A ghost of a smile crossed his face and he took a deep breath. "I'm thinking getting her back might be the easy part," he said. "The rest might not be." He leaned in then and brushed his lips against hers, then slid his hand over to cup her bare breast, running his thumb over the nipple. She caught her breath as she looked into his eyes, locked on to her own, feeling that swirl of desire coil through her at his touch.

She slid her hand down from his face to his shoulder and then to his upper arm and gently pulled him towards her as she leaned back against the pillows. As they lay back together, he moved his hand from her breast down between her legs, touching her in the way she loved, and she forgot everything else as she moaned her pleasure.

* * *

When she opened her eyes again, the sun was starting to lighten up the room. And Deacon was lying next to her, his eyes closed and his chest rhythmically rising and falling. His hair was down across his forehead and his hand was laying on his chest. She raised herself up slightly and looked across him at the bedside clock. It was barely six-thirty. Today they would go back to Nashville, but they would do it as a family.

 _ **####**_

Deacon sat at the back of the plane, watching Rayna and the girls. Maddie was sitting next to Rayna, who periodically would reach over and touch her on the hand or the arm, as though to reassure herself that their daughter was still there. He just saw the back of Daphne's head periodically, but he could hear her rapid-fire chatter and her happy, carefree laughter, sounds that warmed his heart. Every now and then Rayna would look up and over at him, her eyes filled with love and gratitude, and he'd smile at her, then go back to his musings.

Maddie would cast furtive looks his way, every now and then, as though she were still a little afraid. He wasn't sure if she was still afraid of him or just afraid of what they'd have to deal with when they got home. Maybe it was just uncertainty or regret. Truthfully, he wasn't sure what he was feeling either, at least in regards to her. Rayna and Daphne were happy and he was truly grateful for that. The few weeks they'd had to live without Maddie had been hard, for so many reasons. But living with their sadness had crushed him, in many ways. He hadn't felt like he could deal with all of his own complicated feelings, because he was trying to prop up Daphne and he was spending so much energy walking on eggshells around Rayna.

He turned to look out the window of the plane, staring almost unseeing at the bright blue sky as they raced home from New York City. For a moment, his thoughts turned to the news Bucky had shared with him before they left, the news he hadn't shared yet with Rayna or the girls. Right now, they were joyful and happy and he didn't want to spoil that for them. There would be time enough, when they got to Nashville, to share the news of Juliette's plane crash.

It was a lot to carry in his heart, that her life was hanging in the balance, along with everything else in front of him. He knew Juliette was a fighter and that she had Avery with her. She'd fought back from a lot of adversity and he had a sense of peace, believing she'd make it in the end. He was hopeful that by the time they landed in Nashville there would be more hopeful news to share on that front.

He didn't think Rayna had noticed he'd sat on the sidelines the night before. She couldn't take her hands off Maddie, alternating between grabbing her hands and hugging her. It had been late anyway, and he'd let her go with the girls to Daphne's room, while he waited in his and Rayna's room. He had thought about when Maddie had looked at him in the cab and told him she was sorry. He'd brushed it aside then, mainly because he wanted to focus on reuniting her with Rayna, but also because he wasn't exactly sure what was next.

One of the things he'd talked about with Dr. Voris was his tendency to take on guilt, even when it wasn't his to take on. It was part of the pattern of his life with Rayna – he was the drunk and was usually at the root of the pain they'd dealt with – and he found himself saying 'I'm sorry' more times than he could count. Even after he'd gotten sober, though, he'd still taken on the guilt.

He'd surely taken on the guilt after the accident that had almost killed Rayna, even though it had started with the revelation that she'd hidden Maddie's paternity from him. She'd blamed him for the fact that she'd done that at all, let him know in no uncertain terms that her resentment was greater than his, and he'd taken on the guilt for that. He'd sat there in that courtroom and had to answer to all his misdeeds over the years, even as out of context as some had been, and he'd felt guilty for them losing Maddie, something Rayna had allowed him to feel.

He glanced over at her, as she was laughing with the girls. He took a deep breath. It wasn't that he blamed her. Or that he was angry with her. He'd let her do that. He'd laid down, prostate at her feet, and let her blame him, over and over again. That was on him. _I done the best I could to be a good man,_ he thought. _All I can do is that._

Reconnecting with her, the night before, had been amazing. But he also didn't feel like everything they'd been dealing with in therapy was just wiped away by Maddie coming back and a night of lovemaking. It was a start, but all those things would still have to be dealt with. It was reassuring, however, to know the love was still there.

Rayna caught his eye then. She frowned just slightly, her smile fading just a bit. He turned away and looked out the window. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see her get up and walk over to sit in the seat opposite him. He forced himself to keep looking out the window, until she put her hand gently on his knee. He turned and looked at her, her eyes filled with concern.

"Are you okay, babe?" she asked, her voice soft.

He nodded. "Yeah," he said, not elaborating.

"You seem distracted," she pressed. She leaned a little more towards him. "What's going on?"

He took a deep breath. "Just thinking about what happens when we get home," he said.

She smiled at him. "Well, we get to be a family again," she said.

He frowned. "It ain't that simple, Rayna, you know that," he said, trying to keep his voice low.

She sat back, looking out the window. "I know," she said. "But can't that all wait until we're back in Nashville? Can't we just enjoy it for now?"

He started to tell her he couldn't just yet, but decided against it. "Yeah. We can." He swallowed. He didn't really want to get into this yet, not here. But he knew her and he knew she'd keep pressing. He needed to give her something. "I guess I should tell you this before we get back, so you're prepared."

She looked confused. "Tell me what? Something about Maddie?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Bucky told me before we left that Juliette was in a plane crash last night."

Her eyes opened wide. "What? I thought she was at the Oscars. Are you sure?"

He nodded and sat forward, taking her hand. "All I know is she was coming home and her plane crashed. She was hurt pretty bad and was in surgery all night."

Her hand flew to her mouth and tears filled her eyes. "Oh, no." She looked quickly over her shoulder at Maddie and Daphne. "I'm not going to tell them just yet." He nodded. "Oh, babe, this is awful. Is she going to be okay?"

He shrugged. "They don't know."

She gripped his hand tightly. "We'll have to pray that she does," she whispered. She took a deep breath, seeming to center herself. "I know we have a lot to deal with," she said. "And we will. I know there are a lot of questions we need answers to."

He leaned forward, his eyes searching hers. "It just ain't simple, Ray," he said.

She looked back at him for a moment and then she nodded. "I know," she said, with a sigh. "I understand."

He sat back. He hoped she did understand.

 _ **####**_

Maddie glanced quickly over at her parents. She couldn't see her mom's face, but she could tell she was gripping her dad's hand tightly. His face looked solemn and sad. She wondered if they were talking about her. It wouldn't surprise her. She felt a knot in her stomach. She'd made such a terrible mistake and she was afraid her dad would never forgive her.

She looked back at Daphne. Her sister finally seemed to have run out of things to say and she smiled just a little. Daphne had put her ear buds in and was listening to music. They'd slept in the same bed the night before. Daphne had been reluctant to let her go and she figured she could share a bed for one night. She knew she'd really hurt her sister's feelings, although she had not meant to. She'd told Daphne the truth, that she hadn't been emancipating from her, but the reality was that there was going to be no real way she could have had a relationship with her sister and not with her parents.

She sat back in her seat and sighed. In the cold light of day, she knew this wasn't going to be easy. A lot had changed and some of it couldn't be undone. She suddenly felt tears in her eyes as she wished she'd never ever met Cash Gray.

 _ **So what do y'all think? Would love to hear your thoughts. #BringBackNashville**_


	2. Chapter 2

By the time the plane landed at John Tune Airport, Rayna had moved back over to sit with the girls. Deacon focused on the joy on her face, the absence of the stress and hurt that had been there for the past several weeks. That, more than anything, filled his heart, although he knew it was really just the surface stuff. As much as he wanted to just let it all go, for her sake, he knew their sessions with Dr. Voris had pulled up old hurts and old wounds that needed to be tended to. Maybe not today or tomorrow or the next week, but they would need to address them. Because as much as he loved her, he couldn't be the screw-up in their relationship anymore and he knew Maddie coming home didn't just erase that version of him Rayna saw.

When the plane door opened onto the tarmac, Maddie and Daphne scampered off first and headed for the terminal. He stood at the bottom of the steps and took Rayna's hand as she stepped down. He dropped her hand and started to turn to follow the girls when she put her arm around his waist. He looked down at her as she smiled up at him and he breathed in as he took in the love in her eyes. He leaned down and kissed her and then put his arm around her shoulders, as they headed towards the terminal together.

After they'd taken a few steps, she looked back up at him. "This is such a wonderful day, isn't it?" she asked, her face aglow.

He took a breath. "Rayna," he started, his tone cautious.

Her eyes were pleading with him then. "Please don't," she said softly. "Let's just have this one day, babe. I know we need to deal with what's next for her and whether we can untangle all the mess, but let's just have this one day to be happy."

He breathed in again. It was so much more than just what happened next with Maddie, but he decided it didn't have to happen today. He would give her this, this perfect day, when they had their daughter back and things were looking good for all of them. They had an appointment with Dr. Voris in two days and he was determined they would keep it. He rubbed his hand over her arm. "Yeah, we can have this day," he said, and she smiled happily at him.

 _ **####**_

Maddie was devastated. She looked up as her parents walked into the terminal and held up her phone, tears in her eyes. "Did you know? About Juliette? Did you know her plane crashed last night?" she wailed.

Rayna hurried over to her and pulled her into her arms. "I just heard myself," she said soothingly. "We'll find out what's going on." She turned to look back at Deacon. "How can we find out?"

He bit his lip. "I'll try Avery," he said, and reached for his phone. Maddie hurried over to stand next to him as he lifted the phone to his ear. Her insides were turning upside down. The headlines were terrifying – _Juliette Barnes Clinging To Life, What Happened on Juliette's Plane?, Will Juliette Barnes Survive?_ She couldn't help but think about the last time she'd seen her friend. It was just after the emancipation hearing, and Juliette had cautioned her to think about what she was doing, that she had a family who loved her. But she had felt like she was following in her idol's footsteps. Juliette had done the same, after all, emancipating herself at fifteen. And Juliette had promised to be there to help her.

Her dad shook his head. "Went straight to voice mail," he said. He looked at her mom. "Would her manager know anything?"

Maddie turned to her mom. "Please, Mom, call Glenn," she begged. Rayna nodded and walked over to a quieter area of the terminal, while Deacon stood with her and Daphne. They all had eyes on Rayna as she spoke in hushed tones and then spent a lot of time listening.

"Thanks, Glenn," she said finally. "Let us know if there's anything we can do." She disconnected, staring down at her phone for a moment.

Maddie felt a squeeze in her stomach. "Mom," she said, choking on the word.

Rayna looked up and over at her family, then walked towards them. Her face looked ashen. "She made it through surgery," she said, and Maddie collapsed in her arms in tears. She rubbed Maddie's back, making soothing noises. "She's still unconscious. She suffered a head injury, but they don't know the extent of it just yet. She's got lots of cuts and bruises, a few broken bones, and they had to remove her spleen. She's in intensive care for now."

Maddie stood back and was wringing her hands. "What happened?" she asked.

"Yeah, what happened?" Daphne parroted.

Rayna took a deep breath and looked first at Deacon, then back at her girls. "Glenn said it was a mechanical issue with one of the engines. The pilot was lucky to get it down in a relatively flat area but it was obviously a very rough landing. It's really a miracle no one was killed." She hugged her girls. "Unfortunately Juliette got the worst of it, but Glenn's very hopeful. Avery's there with her and Glenn's on his way back from LA."

Maddie looked at her. "Can we go see her?" she asked.

Rayna shook her head. "Not yet. She's not being allowed visitors, except for Avery, right now." She tried to smile. "I think we should go home. We have a lot to talk about ourselves and we can still keep Juliette in our prayers." She looked at Deacon.

He raised his eyebrows. "I'll go get the truck," he said, and he turned and headed for the parking lot.

 _ **####**_

Rayna looked up when Deacon walked into the bedroom. "Everything go okay?" she asked, as she continued to rub lotion into her arms.

He nodded and then sat on the bench, taking off his boots. "All my stuff was packed up in a couple boxes at the back door. I didn't even have to go inside," he said, with a sarcastic laugh.

She put her hands in her lap. "I think it's for the best, though, don't you?" she said.

He shrugged. "Don't matter if it is or not." He rolled his eyes up to the ceiling. "Couldn't take the risk he'd sue." He stood up and headed for the closet.

She turned to sit on the bed, drawing her knees up to her chest. "If it's any consolation, babe, he probably will end up losing it all in the end," she said.

He stood in the closet for a moment, clenching his jaw. He was going to let it go, though, at least for now. He'd promised her a good day and he could make himself deliver on that. Things had been somewhat strained, with the reality of Maddie back in the house. Everything had felt a bit forced, for all of them, trying to be cordial and not address the elephant in the room, that Maddie was still emancipated, even if she was back in their house, and no one knew quite how that would shake out in the end.

He finally walked out and stood on his side of the bed, looking at her. She looked up at him expectantly. "I just don't know what I'm gonna do now," he said. "I kinda got used to having the bar and being a business person, I guess."

She smiled. "You said that before, you know. When I asked you to go out on that little tour with me."

He remembered. It had sounded so foreign to him then and he smiled back at her. "I remember."

She turned to face him, crossing her legs underneath her. "You were supposed to be on stage with Daphne and me last night, too. So I'm thinking we get back to that. Weren't we talking about writing together? Writing an album? And touring together?" She smiled at him hopefully. "I'd really love to do that with you, babe. Now that things are pretty much back to normal again."

He frowned. "I don't know if things are exactly back to normal, Ray," he said. "We still got stuff to deal with. You and me. Us and Maddie." He sat down on the edge of the bed.

She shrugged. "But I think we're getting back on track, don't you? And we'll sit down with Maddie and talk everything through. Figure out where we go from here."

He took a deep breath. "Rayna, she could walk outta here again, if we push her. Maybe she wouldn't run off with someone like Cash, but she don't have to stay here. Or do anything we tell her."

She looked down at her hands, fidgeting in her lap. "I realize that. But I think we got her attention. I think the whole thing with Vince Pierce scared her." She looked up at him. "We'll handle things differently. Now that we understand what we're dealing with, we can guide her. And I think she'll listen."

He could see Rayna doing the same thing all over again. Trying to manipulate Maddie's career – and Maddie, too, for that matter – not in a negative way, but by trying again to exert control. He knew she'd been scared, when Maddie was gone, and now that she was back, her inclination would be to hold their daughter close. He sat on the bed and reached for her hand. "Let's not do too much too fast," he said. "Don't overwhelm her." He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand and smiled. "I like your idea of writing music together. You know nothing's better than making music with you." She smiled, a little shyly. "Why don't we focus on that? And give Maddie some space and see what she wants from us."

She took his hand in both of hers. "You're right," she said, then smiled a little more teasingly. "I would love to write with you, babe."

He swung his legs up on the bed and pulled her into his embrace. He brushed his lips against hers and ran his fingers down the side of her arm. "Let's you and me work some more on that getting back on track stuff," he whispered gruffly against her mouth, chuckling deep in his throat.

 _ **####**_

Maddie saw movement out of the corner of her eye and looked up from her phone to see Daphne standing in the doorway, a little shyly. She smiled. "Hey," she said. "Come on in." She sent the text she'd written, to Talia, and then put her phone on the bedside table.

Daphne came running over and jumped on the bed. "I'm so glad you're back," she said.

Maddie grinned. "I can tell."

Daphne sat up then and frowned a little. "Are you going to stay?"

Maddie nodded. "I'm planning to. If it's okay with Mom and Dad, that is."

Daphne clapped her hands together. "Oh, I know they want you to. Mom especially." She took a deep breath. "She was so sad when you were gone, Maddie. I don't think I've ever seen her that sad before."

Maddie swallowed hard. She felt a little mistiness in her eyes. "I didn't mean to make her sad," she said softly. She breathed in. "What about Dad? Was he sad too?"

Daphne squinted her eyes a little. "He didn't talk about it much," she said. "When he came back home, it was just really tense all the time."

Maddie looked confused. "He moved out?" She hadn't known that and the thought of it hurt her, deep down inside. She understood that, on the surface, it had hurt her parents when she made her decision to go after emancipation. She knew that, on the day the judge granted her request, that her father was in jail after the fight with Frankie, which she knew was because of what she had done. But it had never occurred to her that her actions could have such consequences on her mom and dad. To know that it had caused that separation, even if it was short-lived, pained her.

Daphne shrugged. "I don't know, exactly. I just know he wasn't here when Mom and I got back home. But then he was back." She looked at Maddie. "It was really hard without you, Maddie. I mean, really hard. Everybody was sad and nobody laughed."

Maddie fought her tears, reaching out to hug her sister. "I'm sorry," she said. "I did this all wrong."

Daphne sat back and scowled. "Cash was a mean person," she said.

Maddie thought about that. At first, she'd felt so grown up that Cash paid attention to her and was so encouraging. She'd thrown lots of names around, as though she had a million connections, but those never seemed to materialize when Maddie would probe more about them. She hadn't really understood why she had to cut herself off so completely from her family, but she realized now it was Cash's only way of controlling her. The final straw had been that she was sure Cash had known about Vince Pierce's reputation and had put her in that awful position in New York anyway.

She reached out for Daphne's hands. "I don't think she meant to be mean," she said, "but she didn't care about me the way that you and Mom and Dad do. I know that for sure."

Daphne looked at her wistfully. "Can we go back to the way it was? Singing together?"

Maddie took a deep breath. She knew it was something she needed to talk to her parents about. She didn't know what her options were, whether the decisions she'd been making were final. It made her a little sick to think she might have messed things up for herself. "I don't know, Daph," she said sadly. "I mean, we can always sing together, but I don't know if things can be the way they were. I might have made some big mistakes." She could see the tears in her sister's eyes and she hugged her. "At least we'll have each other," she said. "No matter what else, we'll have each other."

 _ **#BringBackNashville**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**I'm really glad y'all are enjoying this. Thanks so much for the reviews – I'm glad this is hitting the spot for so many of you!**_

When Rayna woke up the next morning, she was alone in the bed. She got up and pulled on her robe, then headed for the kitchen. She frowned to see it empty, with no sign that anyone had been in it. "Deacon?" she called out. She stood there for a moment, wondering where he could be. She walked over to the back door and peered out. His truck was still there, so he had to be in the house.

She walked upstairs and down the hall to the music room, where she found him behind closed doors. He had his guitar on his lap and was bent over it, scribbling on a notepad. He looked up when she opened the door, but didn't stop what he was doing. She went to sit on the couch next to him, tucking one leg up under her. "Hey, babe," she said. "You're up early."

He looked at her. "Couldn't really sleep," he said. He sighed then and put his pencil down, but didn't move his guitar. "You thought at all about what we're gonna say to Maddie?"

She leaned against the back of the couch, propping herself up on her elbow. "No." She frowned. "But she's home, babe. I think that speaks volumes, don't you?"

He shrugged and looked away. Then he looked back at her. "Are we gonna say _anything_ to her? About all this? Or you just gonna let it go just because she's back?"

She looked at him for a minute. "I don't understand, babe," she said. "We got her back. From what you told me, you gave her a choice and she chose us."

He sighed and then put down his guitar. "I don't know, Ray. I sorta think she chose against Cash and that Vince guy. Now that she's back here, you know, what's different?"

She sat up. "Well, _everything_ is different," she said, looking angry. "I just don't see it the way you do, Deacon. I think she realized what she'd given up."

He raised his eyebrows. "She tell you that? Or are you just hoping that's what she thinks?"

She didn't understand this mulishness of his. He'd been doing this almost since he'd brought Maddie back. It was as though he didn't have faith in her decision. "Why can't you just be happy we have her back? That we can go on and be that family we always wanted to be?" she asked, getting annoyed.

He shook his head. "Why can't you accept the truth, that it ain't gonna be the same?" he said, sounding exasperated. "Even if it's just been a little while, she made some choices she can't take back. She did some damage that can't just be wiped clean. Yeah, I'm happy we got her back. I'm happy it wasn't worse than it was. But you're doing the same thing you always done – just pushing everything into a box and pretending it's all fine. And it ain't _fine_ , Rayna."

She stood up then, walking over to the window and looking out over the pool. "Deacon, I understand that things have changed. I get it." She turned back to face him. "But we got her back, which I thought was what we both wanted. It sounds like to me, though, like you're gonna let your hurt feelings keep you from really welcoming her back."

He stood up then and pushed his hand through his hair. "Hurt feelings? Is that what you think I got, Rayna, _hurt feelings_?" he said, raising his voice. "Do you even remember sitting there in that court room? Listening to her say she was afraid of me?" He practically spat out every word. "That she was afraid to live in the same house as me?" He poked at his chest. "I'm still me, Rayna. I'm still the same man she knew. What's different this time? Just the fact that I didn't punch that Pierce guy the way he deserved? Or wring Cash's neck when I had the chance?" He shook his head and smiled sarcastically. "Cause that's exactly what I wanted to do. That ain't changed. I decided not to do that, so I learned, but I still wanted to."

She crossed her arms over her chest and scowled at him. "I know you wanted to protect her. I get that, Deacon," she said, heatedly. "I'm not asking you to stop _feeling_ like that. Just not _act_ on it. But don't you realize she said those things in court because Cash told her to? And that lawyer? It was all so she could win her case."

"So I'm just supposed to forget about it? I'm supposed to just get over that they brought up all that crap that happened when I was a drunk? Or when I was trying to protect her?" He turned away from her, putting his hands on his hips and looking towards the ceiling.

She wasn't sure what to do or say. She didn't want to minimize how hurt he'd been, but she wanted to move on. Maddie was back and she wanted them to be able to focus on putting everything that had happened behind them. She breathed out. "I don't know what you want me to do, babe," she said finally. "I hear you – I do – but I need us to figure out how to get things back on track with Maddie. And for our family. I need you to be in this _with_ me, not fighting against me." She put her hands on her hips. "I thought you wanted her home."

He turned to look at her, his eyebrows raised. "I do, Rayna," he said. "I told you that. We just need to remember why she did this in the first place." He breathed out. "Look, maybe I'll just head up to the cabin and clear my head. You can figure it all out and let me know what we're doing."

He started for the door, but she raced over and grabbed his arm, her face filled with anger. "No," she said firmly. "You are not going to walk away. That is exactly what we're _not_ doing here."

He pulled his arm away and then stepped back. "Then you need to _listen_ to me, Rayna. Don't shut me down." He took a deep breath. "I don't want to fight against you either, but I need to be equal in this. I need you to listen to _me_." He breathed out. "Let me know when you're ready." Then he turned and walked out, leaving her standing in the music room, wondering how they'd gone from falling asleep in each other's arms the night before to being at a standoff the next morning.

 _ **####**_

Deacon had just poured himself a cup of coffee when Rayna walked into the kitchen. He raised an eyebrow and held up a mug. She nodded and then turned her attention to her phone. He poured her coffee and set it down beside her, walking into the den.

"Do we need to keep this appointment with Dr. Voris tomorrow?" she asked.

He turned and looked at her. She was frowning at the screen on her phone. He breathed out slowly. "Yeah," he said. "I think we should."

She looked up at him and chewed on her lip for a moment. "Yeah, I guess you're right," she said.

Just then, Maddie came running down the stairs, holding up her phone. "Mom," she said. "I got this email from Kaitlyn at Lennox Hill. She says I need to come back to New York to finish my album." She rolled her eyes. "Do I have to?"

Deacon watched from the den, wondering how Rayna was going to respond to this. He saw her start to answer, then stop. Finally she said, "Well, Maddie, you have a signed contract, right?" Maddie nodded. "Then I think you have to finish what you started."

Maddie made a face. "But Mom, I don't want to work with that guy," she whined.

"Well, I don't think anyone's going to be working with that guy again, but, much as I hate to admit it, you do have a contract. Unless they're willing to let you out of it, which I doubt they will, you need to do this." She looked over at Deacon. "But maybe your father and I can come up with some alternatives she'd accept."

He took a sip of his coffee and turned away. Contrary to what he felt like Rayna believed, he did hate this for Maddie. He wished she'd never gotten her head turned by Cash, but he also wished he'd understood earlier why she'd been so afraid of him. One of the things that had bubbled up in the conversations with Dr. Voris had been the fact that he hadn't known about Maddie all those years and hadn't been prepared to be a father. He'd done the best he knew how, but neither Rayna nor Teddy had been inclined to give him advice or tips or help him in any way. He knew he'd made mistakes and he knew his ways of handling things had been part of the problem. He wanted to be part of the solution, but he was afraid Rayna would take over, like she always did.

What would it be like, now that Maddie was back? It was his turn to feel afraid, not of her but of how their relationship would be going forward. How would they talk about it? Would they really talk about it? More than anything, he wanted things to be the way they used to be, but he knew that probably wasn't possible. Things would change, things had already changed.

It had felt good that day, though, holding her in his arms, knowing he'd gotten her free from that bastard and that he'd been able to stay calm in the moment. He wanted to be the man Rayna needed him to be, the husband she deserved, and the father Maddie needed. More than anything, he wanted to fix this, but it felt like there were so many unanswered questions, so many hurdles to navigate. Even if they could work through everything that was said that day in the courtroom, could he and Maddie get back the ease they'd had before? Could it really be….

"Deacon?" Rayna's voice interrupted his thoughts and he turned back to her. She and Maddie were looking at him and he realized he hadn't been paying attention to them at all.

"I'm sorry, baby, what?" he said, shaking his head a bit.

There was a little tension around her lips and eyes, but she breathed out and it was gone. Maddie's head was slightly bowed and she was looking at him through her lashes. "Don't you think we could find a producer here, in Nashville? Someone who could work with Maddie, that her label would be okay with?" Rayna asked.

He breathed in and then nodded. "I'm sure there are plenty of producers who could work with her," he said. "I'd actually suggest Avery, but I don't know if he'd be available right now."

Rayna sighed. "Yeah, I'm sure his mind wouldn't be focused right now, but he would certainly be ideal." She raised her eyebrows. "How about you?"

He frowned. "I ain't a producer, Rayna," he said, sounding a little harsher than he'd meant to.

Rayna gave him a look. "I wasn't either, but I produced Markus's album," she retorted. "You said you were looking for something to do. Why not this?"

He took a deep breath. "I don't have that kinda patience," he said. He looked at Maddie. "I could work with you on arrangements, if you'd like. That's something I know something about."

Rayna smiled then, looking more hopeful, and looked at Maddie. "That's very true," she said. "When he was my bandleader, he always handled that."

Maddie looked a little embarrassed. "I don't know if you'd really like what I wrote," she said.

He thought about that song she'd been singing at Skull's about being a wild girl, or something like that. He swallowed. "That the stuff you want on your first record?" he asked.

She looked at Rayna, then back at him, twisting her hands. "I don't know," she whispered.

Rayna looked over at him. "Maybe the first step is to get her a manager," she said. "Let that person handle all this."

He nodded. "I agree."

Maddie looked back at Rayna. "Do you think Glenn would do it? I know Juliette loaned him to me for a day, but do you think he'd be able to?"

Rayna smiled at her. "We can ask."

Deacon breathed a silent sigh of relief. Even though he'd offered to help Maddie with arrangements, he wasn't exactly sure he was ready for that yet. The two of them had a lot to work through. Even though she'd told him, in the cab after the incident at Vince's, that she was sorry, he knew that wouldn't be enough. As much as they'd thought they knew each other and had bonded before, it was obvious there needed to be much more conversation to work through what had happened.

 _ **####**_

Maddie went up to the music room. It hadn't really been all that long since she'd been in this room and yet it felt so different to her now. She sat on the edge of the couch and thought about all the times that Cash had come up here with her. She shivered a little bit, thinking about how much the older woman had encouraged her to write about grown-up topics, like sex and being sexy. It made her think about Colt too and the way things had ended with him.

He had not liked Cash and hadn't liked the kind of music she was writing with Cash. She thought about the night he'd come with her to the Bluebird and Cash had performed the song they'd written together. It made her uncomfortable now to think about it. _I got a heart that's ridin' on the circumstance / So don't lie to me just to get in my pants / That ain't too much to ask of you now, is it? / Don't kiss me if you don't mean business._ She felt sick to her stomach. At the time she thought Cash was her friend and she'd told her all about her experience with Colt, but then Cash had been so dismissive of him and his distance.

She didn't really want her parents to hear those kinds of lyrics. Her dad had heard 'Wild Card', or at least part of it, and that felt so weird. And it bothered her now that Cash had taken her personal life and turned it into songs that she realized now were borderline inappropriate. She thought about Colt again and felt tears well up as she remembered how badly she'd treated him. Cash had encouraged her to read him the riot act about his withdrawal from her, which had ultimately led to her breaking up with him.

She looked down at her phone. Something had changed with him, she realized that now, but she couldn't put her finger on it. The way he'd dismissed his dad from his life, and music, and then he joined the Army. There was more going on there and she just had been too wrapped up in Cash, she realized now, to notice. Or care. She felt the tears on her cheeks and wiped them away. Then she took a deep breath and typed in Colt's contact information, which she still knew by heart. _Hey, it's me, Maddie. I've got this new number. So a lot's changed in my life and I was hoping maybe we could talk._ She hit send and then sat back. She hoped he texted her back, but even if he didn't, she felt like she'd done the right thing in reaching out.

 _ **####**_

Rayna was checking email as she and Deacon drove over to Dr. Voris's office. The sessions they'd had with him before Maddie came home had been more or less helpful. At first, it had felt like all they were doing was fighting, and not particularly productive fighting. The one thing she had come away with was that she wasn't prepared to walk away from him. She'd told Dr. Voris that their relationship had felt inevitable, and it did. It always had. There were certainly times, back when Deacon was still drinking, when that inevitability had felt like an anchor weighing her down. And then all those years she was married to Teddy, it had felt like that brass ring that was forever out of reach. These days, though, it did feel a lot like they were fighting those old patterns again, just without having to deal with the drinking.

Deacon sighed, an annoyed sound, and she looked over at him and frowned. "What?" she said.

He glanced at her, then back at the road. "Nothing," he said.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm trying to arrange a meeting for Maddie with Glenn," she said. She looked at him and he nodded. She put the phone in her purse. "What do you want to talk about?"

"Nothing, Rayna," he said, not looking at her. "Not a thing."

She felt an odd mix of irritation and deep sadness. She turned and looked out the window and didn't say another word the rest of the drive.

* * *

The session had felt stilted. He had been the one to say he thought they should come and then all he seemed to give were one-word answers. She had shared with Dr. Voris that Maddie had come home and seemingly was ready to be part of their family again, but even he couldn't really get Deacon to talk much about how he felt about all that. Which confused her. He'd made such a grand gesture to find her and now he could hardly look at her or talk about her.

She sighed. "I really thought, now that Maddie's home, that things would sort of go back to something more normal," she said. "I do realize a lot has changed, but she really hasn't been gone that long, and it was her choice to come home. She asked to come home."

"How did you feel when you saw Deacon bring her back?" Dr. Voris asked.

She smiled then and reached for Deacon's hand, squeezing it gently. He looked over at her and gave her a small smile. "I was so grateful. And I realized that it was his impulsiveness that brought her back to us. It gave me hope that he could still be that man who wears his heart on his sleeve and makes right choices. He put our family first and gave us a chance to make it right."

Dr. Voris looked at her thoughtfully. "But aren't there some unanswered questions there? Unresolved issues? It would seem you'd want to explore a little bit about why she chose the path she did. And what the two of you might do differently now that she's back."

She shrugged. "Well, sure, yeah, we need to do that. But I don't want to push. It all still feels fragile and I don't want to make her uncomfortable." She gestured towards Deacon. "I guess we do need to have that conversation, probably between us first."

"So, how do you think the two of you take that next step?" Dr. Voris asked, looking at each of them.

She looked over at Deacon and he suddenly turned to her, a frown on his face. "I want to know, Rayna, what is it that you want out of our relationship?" he said, frowning.

She screwed up her face. "What?" That seemed so out of left field.

He huffed. "I just feel like we never talked about that. Never answered that question." He rubbed his face. "I don't know how to talk about what's next for our family until we answer that question." He leaned forward and then looked at her again. "I know you love me, but what is it you _need_ from me? Why are you in this? I know what you needed from Teddy. And from Luke. But what about me?"

She felt like the rug had been pulled out from under her. They were _together_. Yet it sounded like he was confused, unsure. She looked at him, then at Dr. Voris.

"I think it's a fair question," Dr. Voris said. "Deacon's right and we never really answered that, although it didn't have to be answered here in this room. But it sounds like maybe the two of you haven't discussed it, so why don't we explore that. Rayna, do you want to start?"


	4. Chapter 4

Deacon watched Rayna as she sat there, looking at Dr. Voris. She took a deep breath and then looked down at her hands, the fingers of her right hand playing with the rings on her left. He wondered for a moment if he'd pushed too far, but he decided they needed to say it out loud. He needed to hear what she would say. He did know she loved him, the way he knew she knew he loved her. But there were all those years when their life together was hard, and then there were those years when all he could do was watch her from afar, and then there were the years when they were available to each other, but she couldn't see herself making that choice, and love wasn't enough. So why now?

He knew when she married Teddy she'd needed normal, she'd needed uncomplicated. She'd needed a safe place for her and Maddie, away from the turmoil that was life with him. And then he supposed the burden of keeping the secret of Maddie had kept her there, with a man she loved only superficially. With Luke, she'd needed an excuse to tell him no. It had all started too close to the accident, when she still couldn't forgive him completely or let him back in too close to her. She'd needed someone who shared her dreams, something Teddy did not, but could give her the same safe place Teddy had. The clean slate, with no history.

Their lives together had always been complicated, filled with passion and anger and making up and living on the edge. There was a connection that had happened, back when she was a fresh-faced, innocent sixteen year old and he was an already damaged nineteen year old. Almost from the moment they'd met, there had been nothing in between them. It had been hot and erotic and filled with an almost desperate yearning, and nothing had ever really changed that, even during all the years they weren't together.

She finally looked up at him, a deep sadness in her eyes, and his heart caught, thinking she was going to tell him she just didn't know about them anymore. That too much had happened, that going back was too painful, that whatever was there just wasn't anymore.

She ran her tongue over her lower lip and then she reached for his hand, holding it tightly in both of hers. "I want what I've always wanted. A life with you," she said. "That was all I ever wanted, for so long. You were my future. The music, the love, all of that was what I'd dreamed of." She gave him a tiny smile. "I guess I was hoping we wouldn't have to go through any more pain or hurt, because we'd survived all that. When you came out of your surgery, I thought 'there, we're done with all that pain, we can be happy', and we were. But then life came along, with two daughters and all their drama. Well, Maddie's anyway." She smiled a little more and he let a smile play at his lips. "And there was my job and your job and we just didn't take the time we should have to talk about how we combined all this." She gripped his hand a little tighter. "But I can't see doing any of this without you. I finally have what I've wanted since the day I met you. I need you, to be there with me, to walk next to me, to share all of this with me. There's still going to be pain and loss and hurt and struggle, but I want to go through all of that with you, babe."

He felt tears in his eyes and a lump in his throat. He breathed in and then let it out slowly, as she looked at him expectantly. He let out a half-laugh and squeezed her hands. He cleared his throat. "I want that too, baby," he said. "I been waiting for all that, for all those years." She smiled at him encouragingly. He breathed in again and then looked at her seriously. "But I need to be a partner. I don't feel like I been that. Maybe because of me, maybe because of you, but it feels like we're two people just being who we been, all those years, apart from each other. I love you, Rayna, I know you know that. I've always loved you. I dreamed about this, God, for _years_." He looked up at the ceiling and then back at her. "I know we skipped a bunch of steps and we're all out of order, but I want _us_ to be first. I want you to make _us_ first. That's what I want."

She seemed to sit with that for a moment and then she took a deep breath and let it out. "But there's more than just us, Deacon. There's our family. And we're a family that's broken right now and needs to be put back together."

He frowned. "I'm not saying I don't want to fix that, but, Rayna, I been on the outside for so long. I was Maddie's dad, but I couldn't really be a dad to her."

She frowned back at him. "That's not true."

He raised his eyebrows. "It _is_ true, Rayna, and you know it. Not counting the fact that I didn't know about her for thirteen years, once I did, I had to fend for myself. You weren't there to help me. You shut me out, most of the time. I was never the person you talked to about Maddie. It was always Teddy. And I get it, he'd been there all that time, but you never really gave me a chance. You told me we'd raise her up together, but that never happened. And now, you wanna talk about what we need to do about Maddie, but you still ain't asking me what I think." He worked his lip for a minute. "That's what I want out of this relationship. I want you to ask me what I think. And then listen."

 _ **####**_

When Deacon and Rayna walked into the house, after their therapy session, Daphne was sitting in the den watching TV. "Where's Maddie?" Rayna asked.

Daphne paused the TV and turned to look at her mom. "Upstairs." She paused. "Is it true that Maddie and I aren't going to be able to sing together anymore?" she asked.

Rayna frowned. "Did she say that?"

Daphne shook her head. "No, she said she didn't know." She sighed. "We were practicing a little bit and it just makes me sad if we can't."

Rayna walked over and ran her hand over Daphne's head. "Well, sweetheart, I don't think there's anything in the world that would stop the two of you from singing together, if you want to. But I do think we need to understand what Maddie can and can't do publicly."

Daphne pouted a little. "I wish we were still signed to Highway 65."

Rayna glanced over at Deacon. "I know, baby. I think we all wish that." She sighed. "I think I'll go up and talk to Maddie for a minute." Deacon raised his eyebrow. "Maybe just talk to her about how she's feeling." He got a bottled water out of the fridge and walked over to sit with Daphne, stopping just a second to give Rayna a kiss. It had been a hard day for the two of them, but she still would rather have hard days _with_ him than without him. It would be a process, she was learning.

* * *

She walked up the stairs to Maddie's room. Her door was open and she was sitting on her bed. Rayna rapped her knuckles on the door jamb. "Can I come in?" she asked. Maddie nodded and Rayna walked over to sit on the edge of the bed. "How you doing?"

Maddie shrugged. "Okay, I guess." She glanced over at her phone. "I sent Colt a text yesterday, but he hasn't texted me back. I guess I really blew that."

Rayna smiled encouragingly. "Maybe he's doing some kind of Army thing? And he didn't get your text?"

"Maybe. I just was hoping we could fix things. I feel like I was so mean to him." She scowled. "Because of Cash." Her scowl turned to sadness. "I messed up so many things, Mom."

Rayna reached out and rubbed Maddie's arm. "Things can be fixed, sweet girl."

Maddie shook her head. "Not everything. I still have that stupid contract that Cash made me sign. She wouldn't let me sign the one Glenn thought was good for me, because she wanted to keep me away from you."

Rayna's heart ached for her daughter. She desperately wanted to make things right for her, but she thought about what Deacon had said earlier, about not feeling like he was involved in what happened with their daughter, and decided to take a different approach. She took Maddie's hand. "You know what, sweetheart? When you're sixteen years old, sometimes you do things you think are right that, later on, don't seem like they really are at all. I sure made some wrong choices when I was sixteen. And I thought I was being smart, but I really didn't know as much as I thought I did."

"You mean, like the thing with Vince Pierce?"

Rayna nodded. "Yeah, that was one thing. I met him through someone at an open mic. He was just getting started back then and I don't even know why he was in Nashville, but he was." She smiled at her daughter. "And I wanted to be a country music star then, you know." Maddie smiled back. "And I thought I knew exactly what I was doing, but I so clearly didn't. You and I were both lucky, though, and we got away from that. And I got smarter after that and you will too."

Maddie looked at her carefully. "You made your own decisions then, right?"

Rayna hesitated, then nodded. "Yeah, I did. I mean, my situation wasn't exactly like yours, but…."

"But you were on your own, right?" Maddie interrupted.

"I was. But I don't want to glamorize it, Maddie. It was hard. And the decisions weren't always very easy."

Maddie sighed. "I get it," she said. "If I want to fix some things, can I? Can I change my mind if I think something's not right for me? Like how Cash forced me to do some things?"

Rayna made a face and shrugged. "Some of it can't be fixed, at least not right now. But, you know, that's something that you and me and your father should talk about. Together. Figure out what we _can_ do."

Maddie's eyes teared up. "I need to fix things with Dad most of all," she said. "I said some really awful things."

Rayna took her hand and nodded. "It was hurtful, that's true. But he still went out and found you. He never gave up, not for a second. He still loves you, Maddie. You're his daughter and you're so precious to him. To both of us."

Tears rolled down Maddie's face. "Do you think he'll forgive me?" she asked.

Rayna leaned forward and gathered Maddie in her arms. "Of course he will, sweet girl," she said soothingly. "Of course, he will."

 _ **####**_

Deacon sat next to Daphne on the couch as she unpaused the TV. He squinted his eyes at the screen, looking at people dressed in old-fashioned clothes and talking with British accents. He looked at Daphne and made a face. "What is this?" he asked.

Daphne rolled her eyes and sighed. "It's 'Downton Abbey'. It's Aunt Tandy's favorite show," she said.

He smiled at her. "Well, that makes sense then. It looks like it would be your Aunt Tandy's favorite show." He gave her a puzzled look. "But why are _you_ watching it?"

She grinned. "Actually I like it too. Nobody here will watch it with me though. Mom says there's too much drama in everyday life to watch it on TV and Maddie thinks it's boring."

He raised his eyebrow. "Well, just based on what I'm seeing here" – he pointed at the TV with his water bottle – "I totally get why they don't watch it. I mean, it's just a bunch of people walking around and frowning."

She giggled and then turned it off. Then she turned to look at him, a serious look on her face. "Do you hate Maddie now?" she asked.

He screwed his face up. "What? Why would I hate Maddie?" he asked.

She shrugged. "She thinks maybe you do. Or that you're just really mad at her and don't want to talk to her."

He took a deep breath and sat forward, putting the bottle of water on the coffee table. "I don't hate her, Daphne," he said softly. "I could never hate her." He turned and looked at her. "Same as I could never hate you. I love you both." He rubbed his hand over his mouth. "But sometimes there's stuff to work through. And we'll do that, don't you worry, okay?"

She nodded, her face solemn. "Okay."

 _ **####**_

Deacon had just finished brushing his teeth when Rayna came up behind him and put her hand on his shoulder. He looked at her in the mirror, her face solemn and a little sad. He put his hands on the counter and sighed. "Daphne asked me today if I hated Maddie," he said. Rayna frowned just a little. "Said Maddie thought so."

She rubbed his shoulder. "She's worried she really hurt you and that you won't forgive her," she said. She sighed. "Maybe y'all need to talk about it."

He closed his eyes for a second and nodded. "Probably we do," he said. "I just don't know exactly what to say."

She stepped in and leaned against his shoulder. "I talked to her a little bit about what it was like for me back when I was sixteen. Some of what I was feeling. I think there's a lot more I could share with her, maybe help her understand some of what she's going through. Maybe you could do the same."

He made a face. "What, tell her my sad story? Tell her why I left Mississippi? Tell her that whole sad legacy she come from?" He shook his head. "I don't know, Rayna. Somehow I don't think that'll make her feel better. Or me either."

She ran her hand up and down his arm. "Well, then maybe you could go with her when she meets with Glenn tomorrow. I think it'll be fine, but it might make her feel better to have someone there for her." She laid her other hand on his back. "I think _that_ might help you feel better and feel like you're helping her. And maybe it'll get y'all talking. I think you need to do that, babe. You need to start that process, you know?"

He clenched his jaw and stiffened his posture as he stared in the mirror. She wasn't looking at him then, was just leaning against him with her eyes half-closed. He breathed out. "You know what I think? I think it bothers you that I won't do what you say, that I won't let you decide how I'm gonna feel about all this. You made all the decisions for us, for all these years. You decided if we were together or not, you decided what to do about Maddie, you decided we were just gonna be friends, you decided when we could get back together. I didn't get a say. And when I said what _I_ wanted, you always said no."

She backed away from him then and glared at him, as he turned to face her. "Deacon, I'm trying to let you do that. I want you to be involved in this, the way you said you wanted to be," she said. "I'm not telling you what to do. I am trying to let you figure out your own way."

He turned away from her. "You want me to be Maddie's babysitter and I ain't gonna do that. She's still legally on her own. She still can make her own choices. I ain't gonna make 'em for her. If she needs me – and she asks me – I'll be there, but that's it. I gotta find something for me and I need you to just let me."

She stood looking at him for a moment, then lifted her hands in a surrender pose. "I'm sorry, babe," she said softly. "I wasn't trying to do that." He felt her slide her arms around his waist and press against his back. "Tell me what you want to do," she said.

He breathed in deeply, then turned in her arms. She looked up at him, concern on her face. "I don't know, baby," he said, feeling frustrated. "I don't even know how to start." He put his hands on her arms. "It felt good to be the one to get her out of that situation, you know? I felt like I was doing the right thing and I did it the right way, but now, I don't know." He shook his head. "I keep hearing her say she wouldn't feel safe living with me." He felt tears in his eyes. "I just feel like all I ever done in my life is destroy things. And I destroyed my relationship with her."

Rayna's eyes filled with tears as she shook her head. "I think so much of that was Cash, telling her she needed to say that, babe, I do," she said. "I know she didn't understand about what happened at your house, but all that other stuff that Frankie told her, she doesn't know you as that person."

He looked up at the ceiling, then back at her. "She does now," he said, brokenly. "And all it did was paint this picture of a man who can't control himself. Who would hurt her mama and maybe hurt her too."

She took a deep breath and reached up to grab his shirt. "Deacon, you weren't the one behind the wheel of the truck when we had the accident. Yes, you were drunk, but I was distracted. And you tore up Beverly's room because you were grieving. I know you, babe, and I know you would never hurt us. You would never hurt Maddie. I would never have let you spend time with her, if I'd thought that. You know that."

He stepped back and put his hands over his face. "I don't know, Rayna," he said. "I just don't know what to do next."


	5. Chapter 5

**_A/N: Oh, wow, what great news yesterday! #NashvilleIsBack! So now that we just have a hiatus, I hope there will be lots of stories to get us ready for the new season._**

 ** _Sorry this took so long to post. Hope you enjoy!_**

Rayna poured herself another cup of coffee, sighing as she did so. Then she stood, staring blankly at the back wall behind the coffeemaker. Deacon walked up to her and nudged her. She looked up at him and he nodded towards the stairs. She turned to see Maddie walking into the kitchen, an old sweater pulled around her. She looked back at Deacon and he rubbed her back, then leaned in and kissed the top of her head. She picked up her coffee, watching as Maddie crossed the kitchen to the table and then sat, slouching in the chair, her arms wrapped around her waist.

Rayna walked over and sat down at the kitchen table, across from Maddie. Deacon followed behind and sat next to her, his body angled slightly towards hers, his eyes flitting only occasionally at Maddie. She wondered how long it would take him to feel more comfortable around their daughter.

She clasped her hands in front of her and leaned forward slightly. "So we talked to our attorney and the emancipation can't be reversed," she said.

Maddie sat up, crossing her arms over her chest, tears filling her eyes. "So what does that mean?" she asked, her voice quivering with emotion.

"Well, any contracts you signed are binding, so your deal with Lennox Hill stands," she said. "You didn't sign anything with Cash, did you?" Maddie shook her head. "Well, that's something." She looked at Deacon, then back at Maddie. "Your father and I are fine with you living here, if that's what you want."

Maddie nodded, tears rolling down her face. "That is what I want," she said.

Rayna smiled. "Then you can. And you have a meeting with Glenn today, right?" Maddie nodded. "I'm going to let you handle that, okay?"

Maddie shivered a little. "I don't know if I know what to do," she said.

"I didn't either, when I was your age, but I just did it. That's what you need to do too. If you want to ask us any questions, you can." She glanced at Deacon. "But we're not going to tell you what to do." Maddie looked down at her lap. "I'm not telling you that to be hurtful. I hope you know that. But your father and I" – she looked at Deacon and he gave her an affirmative nod – "decided we're going to treat you as an independent part of our family. We won't interfere, unless you ask for our advice, and we'll let you make decisions you think are best for you."

Maddie sat for a moment, still looking down at her hands. Then she got up, without looking at either of her parents, and headed back towards the stairs.

Rayna fidgeted with her hands and then looked at Deacon. "Did we do the right thing?" she asked, sadness marking her face.

He nodded. "Yeah, we did," he said. He leaned forward and put his hand on her arm. " _You_ did the right thing, Ray. I know you want to fix it for her, but you can't." He sighed. "I'm sure she's gonna ask for your help. Sooner rather than later, probably."

She gave him a sad smile. "She needs you too, babe," she said softly. He looked down. "I know you don't think so, but she does. You rescued her. You found her and brought her back. And we'll work it all out."

He looked up at her and gave her a wry smile. "You're always so sure about stuff, you know?" he said. "You're always so strong. You think you can just will it all to be so."

She shook her head. "I just wish it really were that simple."

 ** _####_**

Juliette had learned over the several days she'd been in the hospital not to open her eyes as soon as she woke up. To take a minute to see if her head still hurt or if anything else hurt. If she remembered right, this was day four. The doctors had told her she'd had a concussion, which was good news. The head injury could have been much worse. She felt soreness in her abdomen from her surgery but it was getting better every day. The bruises were beginning to fade and the broken bones would heal.

Glenn and Emily had visited every day, which had cheered her up. And dear, sweet Avery had spent most of his time by her side, making sure to give her lots of FaceTime with Cadence. She heard the scrape of a shoe and smiled to herself. Her head wasn't hurting today and she was looking forward to telling Avery.

The smile on her face broadened when she opened her eyes and saw Deacon, leaning against the door, his arms crossed over his chest. He smiled back at her when he saw her eyes open. "Hey there, stranger," she said, her voice still raspy and a little thread.

He pushed away from the door and walked over to stand at the side of her bed. "Hey yourself," he said with a smile. "Avery said it was okay to come by."

She grinned. "I'm so glad to see you," she said. "It's been too long."

He nodded. "That it has." He reached for her hand and squeezed it gently. "How you feeling?"

"I'm hanging in there. But how are _you_?"

He shook his head. "I ain't the one in a hospital bed right now," Deacon said with a smirk. "You sure you're okay?"

She made a face. "Me? It'll take more than a plane crash to take me down. But I am ready to get out of here. I want to be home with my baby girl."

Deacon smiled. "When they letting you out of here?"

"Couple days, I think."

He took a deep breath. "Must have been scary."

She shrugged. "What I remember, yeah. I remember the flight attendant telling me what to do and I could feel us going down and that's it. I woke up here, with a headache from hell and pain everywhere." She smiled. "And the three vultures hovering by my bed." Deacon looked confused. She chuckled softly. "Avery, Glenn and Emily. They've been hovering."

Deacon smiled. "No doubt."

She frowned slightly. "So what's going on with Maddie?" She noticed a shadow cross over his face, but then it was gone.

"She's back," he said, then he sat in down in the chair next to her bed.

"I heard that. And Glenn said he's meeting with her today." Deacon nodded. "If she decides to hire him, he'll really help her. You and Rayna don't have to worry."

He looked away. "It's mostly Rayna who's worried," he said.

She frowned. "Don't turn your back on her, Deacon," she said. "Not after she came home."

He turned back to her, a frown on his face. "You don't know what she said," he said. "What she did. In that courtroom."

She looked puzzled. "Well, no, I don't. I just know she said she couldn't go back. But I thought that was just a defiant teenager talking." She looked at him with concern. "What did she say?"

He breathed in and then he told her what had gone on in the courtroom, what Maddie's lawyer had asked him, how she'd gotten that information, all of it. Juliette grew more and more horrified the longer he went on. Then he stood up and walked over to the window. "She told the judge she was afraid of me. Afraid to live with me."

Juliette was stunned. This was not the Maddie she remembered, the girl who adored her father. "Oh, my stars," she said. "I don't get it. Why would she say that?"

"It was Cash. She turned Maddie against us, both Rayna and me. Told her lies about us and twisted everything we did and said."

She sat for a moment, thinking about what he'd said. Then she looked at him. "Deacon, she's your daughter. She did a dumb thing, but you've got to get past it. I don't know this Cash person, but it sounds like Maddie let herself be influenced by her. What's her story, by the way?"

"She's my sponsor's daughter. Well, ex-sponsor. I knew her kind of casually. She and Frankie had some tough times when he was drinking, but they seemed like they were on good terms. She had a nice little songwriting thing going on, was what I heard. Me and Rayna thought it was good that she was working with Maddie, kind of a more grown-up influence. Little did we know she was like a vampire getting her teeth into our daughter."

"Well, I know you and Rayna had a lot going on. But y'all are on the same page with all this now, right?"

He shrugged. "I think Rayna just wants to go back to the way it was. Forgive and forget. It was really hard on her when Maddie turned away." He sat back down in the chair next to her bed.

"I bet it was." She smiled sadly, thinking about the day Rayna had come to see her, after Maddie had run away. She'd been so caught up in her own mess that she really hadn't been very helpful, she knew. "I know y'all don't think I'm the best role model, but I would have told Maddie not to do this, if she'd asked me. In fact, I did tell her she could change her mind."

Deacon shook his head. "'Cept she can't."

"Well, I know legally she can't, but I thought she could at least go home. But I didn't know about what she said in court. I know that must be hard, but surely she didn't really mean that." She looked closely at him. "You and Rayna are working with her to fix all this, right?"

He leaned forward and rubbed his face. "You know, it just brought up all our history and all the crap that's gone on in our lives. All the stuff I done that I can't forget, and she can't forget."

"Hey now, y'all can't let this come between you. You worked too hard to get where you are."

He sighed. "We're working on it. 'It's a process', I keep hearing."

She gave him a small smile. "Well, make sure you talk to each other. That's where Avery and I went wrong. And it's what we're working on now. Don't lose each other." She sighed. "Don't give up on Maddie. You know, I did the same thing, and I can tell you from experience that you can make things right. She's your daughter and you love her. She's come back. Let her explain, cry a little bit together, and then move on. You got past all your crazy with Rayna, you can do it with Maddie too."

He looked at her for a moment, then gave her a small nod and a quick smile. Then he stood. "I should go. Avery told me not to stay too long and tire you out," he said.

She laughed. "I've been in a bed for four days. I don't know how I could get tired." She waved her hands at him and he leaned down so she could hug him. "Thank you for coming," she said, her voice suddenly emotional. "I really have missed you."

He stood and smiled down at her. "Me too. We won't go so long next time." He started for the door.

"I'm gonna hold you to that!" she called out after him.

 ** _####_**

Maddie came in through the back door and tossed her purse on the kitchen island. Daphne turned around from where she was sitting in the den to look at her sister. "Are you okay?" she asked.

Maddie looked at her and narrowed her eyes. "Not really. I met with Glenn today. Juliette's manager. He can be my manager but I still don't have any say about an album."

Daphne screwed up her face. "I don't understand," she said.

Maddie sighed with annoyance. "So when Cash pitched me, it was with these songs she helped me write. And that's what they want." She walked over and sat on the couch opposite Daphne. She sat back and crossed her arms over her chest, pouting. "But that's not what I want to do."

Daphne sat forward. "What do you want to do?"

"I wrote all these songs with Dad. And they're really good songs. I'd really like to do those, but Kaitlyn wants me to do all that other stuff."

"Who's Kaitlyn?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "My label head." She sighed and then looked sadly at her sister. "I messed up, Daphne. I really messed up."

Just then the doorbell rang. Daphne ran out of the room and into the foyer, Maddie trailing behind. She walked up to the foyer entrance just in time to hear Daphne say "What do _you_ want?"

"I want to see Maddie," she heard Cash say, her voice as snippy as it usually was when she talked to Daphne. Maddie walked into view and instantly Cash smiled happily. "Hey, Maddie, I was hoping to get to see you. We didn't get a chance to finish talking in New York."

Maddie looked at her with suspicion, then looked at Daphne. "It's okay," she said. Daphne looked unconvinced and Maddie gave her an encouraging smile. "Really, it's okay." Daphne looked unsure, but she turned and headed back to the den. Maddie turned back to Cash. "Why are you here?" she asked, her smile gone.

"Come on, Maddie, we didn't get to talk after your dad dragged you out of Vince's," Cash said, looking all innocent.

Maddie looked incredulous. "He didn't drag me out of there, Cash. I asked him to take me. I _wanted_ to go with him."

Cash spread her hands and looked confused. "But I don't understand. Why would you want to go back to the people who are holding you back? I understand that Vince wasn't the right producer for you, and we can find you someone else, but you know Rayna and Deacon aren't going to nurture your career the way I will."

Maddie rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you're saying this, Cash. You knew who Vince was and what he was about. You had to. And you left me there. And how can you even say you care more about me than my own parents?"

Cash shook her head, looking befuddled. "Maddie, you were the one who wanted to break away, who wanted to be an artist on your own. You didn't want to be tied to your sister, your voice hidden away. Rayna would never have let you stand on your own."

Maddie frowned. "That's not true. None of that is true. I don't know why I listened to you."

Cash narrowed her eyes just slightly. "Because you know I'm right. Rayna thinks she's protecting you, but she's hiding you. She only let you sing in certain controlled situations and didn't encourage your talent on your own. You shouldn't have had to beg to be allowed to perform. Or punished for doing what comes naturally. More than anyone, she should have understood." Then she looked at Maddie pleadingly. "Maddie, I only ever had your best interests at heart. I know what it's like to have a father you can't always depend on and a mother who holds you back and won't let you chase your dreams. I know you don't really want to go back to that."

Maddie hesitated just a moment. But then she thought about what Glenn had said to her about the contract she'd signed and how her mother was starting to talk to her about what her life and career had been like at sixteen and her resolve strengthened. "Actually, I do, Cash. Because you're wrong about them," she said.

Just then Deacon and Daphne stepped into the foyer. Maddie turned to look at them. She hadn't heard her dad come in and wondered how much he might have heard. Deacon frowned in Cash's direction. "You okay?" he asked Maddie, looking back at her.

She nodded. "Yeah, Dad. I'm good." She looked back at Cash. "Cash was just leaving."

Deacon raised his eyebrows, then put his hand on Daphne's shoulder and the two went back into the den. Maddie looked back at Cash. "We're done, Cash," she said. Then she walked over and shut the door in Cash's face.

 ** _####_**

Deacon looked down at his hands. "I know I always say I'm gonna be different, that things are gonna be different. And then it feels like they're not." He looked at Rayna. "But I don't know how much of that is me and how much is the way you look at me."

Rayna breathed in and considered that. Then she nodded. "You're right. We are who we are. We've known each other for such a long time and I made so many decisions about you based on how you were those first eleven years, I'll admit that. I also know you've changed and grown. The things I loved about you then are still here now – your passion, your intensity, the way you care about people, how protective you are. And as I watched you get sober and stay sober, these things became more of who you are." She sighed. "I know I told you, back after I called off the wedding with Luke, that I didn't really feel like myself. And that I was afraid to be with you, in part, because I'd have to be me. If I'm going to go back and be more me again, it's gonna get messy. You and I do everything a hundred percent, all in. I know that." She smiled sadly at him. "I love you, Deacon. With all your hard edges and the things that you do that make me crazy, l love you. My life is so much better with you in it."

He took a deep breath. "Even if we fight? Even if I mess up?"

She nodded. "Even if we fight. And even if you mess up. Or I mess up. We can fix anything. I believe that."

He rubbed his hand over his mouth and then leaned forward. "I want that, Rayna. I really do."

She frowned. "What's holding you back?"

He looked at her, his brow furrowed. "Me. I've disappointed you so many times. Even now. And I can't promise I won't do it again. But I can't look in your eyes again and see that disappointment, that look that says I screwed up. After everything with Maddie, that's how you looked at me. Like you couldn't depend on me, like I'd failed you. I don't know if I can live up to your expectations of me." She looked away. "Maybe you were right to go with Teddy. Or Luke. Men who could do right by you and not disappoint you. Men who knew the right things to do and didn't have bad role models."

She turned back to him. "Seriously, babe? You don't think they ever disappointed me? Teddy especially, but neither of them were perfect. They didn't get it right all the time. But what you have that they didn't is my love. Real, true love. That soul connection love. The love that says no matter what kind of mess we make we're inevitably connected."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know, baby. It just feels like we keep getting stuck in the past. Even now." He looked at her again. "Just 'cause I brought Maddie back doesn't wipe the slate clean. I think you like to pretend it does. That other stuff never goes away, though, and you always remember it. How we gonna fix that?"

She leaned forward and put her face in her hands. After a moment, she looked over at him. "I think that's why we're here. Why we're talking to Dr. Voris. To help us get to the other side, once and for all." She breathed out. "I think that's why we're both here. Because that's what we both want. Isn't it?"

He nodded. "Yeah."

 ** _####_**

Deacon lay still, late that night, feeling Rayna tucked in against him, skin on skin. He had one hand cradling the back of her head, as she lay on her side with her face pressed into his shoulder. The other hand cupped her shoulder, his arm laying across his chest. She had one hand on his chest, her bare breasts laying against his side and her right leg draped across his. He would occasionally turn his head to press his lips softly against the top of her forehead and she would make a tiny contented sound.

Back in the early days, he remembered her hair always smelled like flowers. Then later on it was fruit and finally a musky, cinnamon-y smell. These days she eschewed scent and she either smelled clean or, after a night like this one, she smelled like him. He smiled a little to himself, as he considered how they usually slept like this, always had. But in the early days it was because they were sleeping in his single bed and later in a still small double bed. Now they had this massive king-sized bed and yet they still preferred to sleep close. The thought ran through his head, though it did rarely these days, that this was the same bed she'd slept in with Teddy all those years. And then Luke too, he supposed. But even that wasn't strictly true. When he'd officially moved in, she had replaced everything – mattress, pillows, sheets, even the decorative pillows she had on the bed. She made it _theirs_ and he had appreciated that thoughtful gesture.

He concentrated on how she felt, laying against him. Her skin was soft and he liked the possessive way she liked to sleep against him. Her hand on him, her leg capturing his, as if to say, even in sleep, _he's mine_. And he was. Just like she was his. He knew that. It had always been that way. Even now, in the midst of all this turmoil and picking apart their lives, he was hers and she was his.

He wondered if Dr. Voris would find it strange that, after the two of them had aired things out, their hurt and anger and disappointment that stretched back over years, they could still come together like this. That they could want and need each other like this, the physical yearning and need for the other consuming them. But it had always been like this. Rayna had always been a spitfire – he'd seen that the moment he met her – and their lives together had been as heated and hot as their passion for each other. They had always been able to fight and even wound each other, yet come back together in the end. They knew each other so intimately, so completely, that it had been as though they knew nothing would really tear them apart, not truly.

Except it had. When he'd found out about Maddie, it had rocked them both and thrown them off-kilter. He'd been bitter and angry and hurt and she'd been righteous in her belief she'd done the only thing she could. It had torn them apart for a while, her inability to feel regret and his inability to completely forgive what she'd done. They had eventually developed what now seemed like a truce. They'd let the love they had for each other cover over the pain of that, the things left unsaid. It seemed best, for all of them, to just move forward and not dwell on it.

Maddie's push for emancipation had brought it back to the surface. His exclusion because he was not her legal father, which served initially to make him feel like an outsider. The blame Rayna had heaped on him in the aftermath of his fight with Frankie. The things that were said in court that, while Rayna had acknowledged she knew weren't a correct depiction of him, still hung out there between them. Saying them all in that cold, impersonal venue had certainly not helped.

And so it continued. They poked those tender, hidden places – the ones filled with pain and disappointment and hurt and anger – and picked them apart, with the help of Dr. Voris. All with the intent of healing, putting everything to right, forgiving. It was hard work and there were many times when one or both of them would want to just get up and walk away. But they couldn't. Because of that connection, forged so long ago, that always drew them back to each other, like moths to a flame.

He breathed in and then out. She stirred against him and turned her face to look up at his. In the dim light, she looked nearly as young as she had when he'd brought her home that night after Lamar had thrown her out of the house. The fire and spunk of Rayna Wyatt had briefly vanished that night, as she wondered what would happen to her then. But it had returned, much later, as she'd nestled in his arms, much like she was now, certain that Deacon was her hero.

He smiled at her and she smiled back and then she moved her hand down his chest and across his abdomen. He held his breath as she slowed her progress, letting her fingers swirl over and around him and then finally touching him in that way that let him know he was loved and desired and that she needed him. He groaned as he rolled towards her. He needed her too.


	6. Chapter 6

One of the unexpected outcomes of Maddie's emancipation mess had been the opportunity to spend time with Daphne. Deacon had recognized how much she'd felt on the outside of that situation. As worried as he'd been about Maddie after she ran off and then started her campaign for emancipation, he could see that Rayna was struggling with her ability to focus on the needs of both her daughters. One thing he knew for sure about Rayna was her singlemindedness when facing an obstacle, and she saw Maddie's situation as being an obstacle to overcome.

Unfortunately, that singlemindedness, while often a strength, meant that she was missing the cues from her youngest daughter that she needed some attention. Deacon had felt torn, in the midst of that, but he didn't want Daphne to get lost in their anguish. So he kept an eye on her and made sure to be there for her, whether it was taking her to dance lessons, or picking her up from school, or helping her overcome her fear of getting up on stage alone.

So it happened, on the first morning of spring break, that Rayna had flown to Detroit to meet up with Scarlett and Gunnar as they started a new tour with Carrie Underwood and Maddie was in New York with Glenn to talk about a new producer. Deacon was in the kitchen, drinking coffee as he read through the latest Guitar World magazine. He looked up when Daphne came into the room.

"Hey, girl," he said with a smile. "I was beginning to wonder if you were gonna sleep all day."

She smiled a little shyly. "I didn't really mean to," she said.

"It's okay. I mean, school's out, so why not, right?"

"Yeah, I guess so." She came over and sat at the kitchen island, resting her head on her hand. "Are we the only ones home?"

He nodded. "Yeah." He leaned on the counter. "Would you be interested in playing at the Bluebird with me tonight?"

Her eyes widened. "Really?" He nodded and she smiled. "That would be really cool." Then she frowned. "But what would we play?"

He shrugged. "Whatever we want. We can practice some songs today, if you want, so that we're ready for tonight."

She looked at him. "Will Mom and Maddie be there?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Maddie's not coming home until tomorrow and your mom will be really late."

She looked thoughtful and then she bit her lip. "There's a song Maddie and I practiced a couple times, but I don't think she really liked it much."

He felt a pain in his heart as he heard the wistfulness in her voice. Even with Maddie back home, Daphne was still a little skittish. "Me and you can do it then," he said. "You'll have to help me with it though." He winked at her.

She smiled broadly then. "I'm pretty sure you can pick it up easy," she said, with a laugh. Suddenly she looked serious. "What time is the show?"

"We're the early show, so six. Can we be ready by then?" he asked, a hint of playfulness in his eyes.

Daphne's eyes widened. "We need to get started," she said, sounding concerned, and Deacon laughed.

* * *

Deacon stowed the guitars in the back and then got into his truck. Daphne was all buckled in already, looking out the side window. He looked over at her. "You okay?" he asked. She'd been a little quiet after they'd finished and then they'd had to hurry to get packed up before the late show crowd came in.

She turned to look at him. "Thank you so much for letting me do that," she said, almost breathlessly.

He smiled at her and then reached over to put his arm around her. "You were amazing, Daphne," he said. "I couldn't have asked for a better partner on stage."

She narrowed her eyes. "I know that's not true. You've performed with Mom and she's way better than me," she said.

He ran his hand over the back of her head. "You're your mama's daughter," he said. "So you picked all that up from her, you know. Don't ever sell yourself short, Daphne. You're amazing."

She looked at him and he could see tears in her eyes. "You really think so?" she asked.

He nodded. "I know so. Thank you for being on stage with _me_ tonight. It was an honor."

She finally smiled at him. "This was the best night ever," she said, her voice filled with awe. "I had the very best time."

He smiled back. "I'm glad, sweet girl," he said. "I did too."

 ** _####_**

Maddie looked out the window at the gate at LaGuardia as she waited for the flight to Nashville to be called for boarding. It was already dark and the plane was delayed. Even though it had supposedly been a big deal for Lennox Hill to sign her, it hadn't been enough to send their private jet. She was sure Juliette would have offered hers, but it was basically unusable. And of course there was no way she could have taken the Highway 65 jet. So it was commercial. She looked over and saw Glenn still walking back and forth in front of the window, talking on his phone.

Maddie looked back at her own phone and the excited text she'd gotten earlier in the day from Daphne – _Playing at the Bluebird with Deacon tonight! So excited!_ She felt a lump in her throat, again, and tears in her eyes. She blinked rapidly.

She wished she could play at the Bluebird with her dad, but things were still so awkward between the two of them. It wasn't surprising, but she didn't know how to have that conversation with him. She'd told him she was sorry, on the taxi ride away from Vince's house, and he told her they'd talk about it later. But they hadn't. He hardly looked at her these days and said little. It was mostly her mom. She would often tell Maddie that she and her dad had talked about something, but he never said that himself.

She felt the tears threaten again. She didn't know how to make things right. She'd thought about talking to her mom about it, but something had held her back. She was afraid her mom would tell her he wasn't interested in fixing things. She hoped that wasn't the case, but now he was spending time with Daphne, so who knew.

She looked over at Glenn again and thought about their conversation the night before.

 _"_ _Maddie, I'm going to give you some advice," he'd said, over dinner._

 _She nodded. "Okay."_

 _He sighed. "I can see how upset you are about all this, but you're not really in the drivers' seat here. Unfortunately, Cash set you up as a different kind of performer than you wanted to be, and we're going to have to live with that. For the time being, anyway."_

 _She made a face. "I don't have any say?"_

 _He shook his head. "Not much. And here's the thing. You can't cry. Or pout. Or roll your eyes. Or get mad. At least not with the label. You can do it with me, but with the label you have to be professional."_

 _She frowned. "Juliette gets what she wants."_

 _Glenn shrugged. "Juliette's been in this business a long time and has been very successful. She's earned that. But you haven't. To be honest, if you'd stayed with your mom, you probably could do all those things, but it's probably, in some ways, good you didn't. You'll learn how to be a real professional."_

Juliette had told her to listen to Glenn, so she did. It had been hard, finding out she didn't get to choose her songs or her arrangements. Glenn was able to get some choice on producers, after the Vince Pierce fiasco, but that was it.

They needed to decide on a producer soon, so Glenn was going to pull together a few names. They were at a stalemate on where she would record. She wanted to be in Nashville but, not surprisingly, the label wanted her in New York. This being on her own business was not everything Cash had claimed it would be. Yet again, she wished she never met Cash Gray.

Just then her phone rang. _Colt._ Her heart turned over as she raised the phone to her ear. "Hey," she said, with a smile.

"Hey," he said. "I was really surprised to hear from you." She tried to figure out if he was happy she'd reached out or not. But he actually just sounded guarded.

Maddie took a deep breath. "I feel really bad about how things ended between us," she said.

"Me too," he said. "But it seemed like that new friend of yours was calling all the shots. What's her name – Cash?"

She rolled her eyes. "Yeah. But it turns out she wasn't that great of a friend after all."

"How do you mean?"

"Well, she got me to emancipate from my parents."

Colt was silent for a moment on the other end. "Maddie, you had to agree to it. It's not like she forced you. Right?"

"Well, she made it seem like it was the only way."

"Did you even talk to your parents about it?"

She frowned. "No. But, hey, you were pulling away from Luke. You know how it is."

"Well, maybe, but it wasn't the same thing."

"How do you know? You gave up music. I just wanted a chance."

"It wasn't about music at all for me, Maddie. I mean, I saw Jeff Fordham fall off that building and it just changed everything."

She was shocked. She'd had no idea. "Oh, Colt!" she cried. "I had no idea. How awful."

"Yeah, it was pretty awful. And my dad didn't understand at first and wanted me to just forget about it. So it just made me rethink everything." He paused a moment. "But you didn't have all that, Maddie. You had a mom who didn't send you to boarding school. And a dad who really listened to your music and encouraged it."

She looked down at her lap. "I know. I know I shouldn't have listened to Cash – now. And my mom is really trying to understand. But I hurt my dad so bad."

"How could you have done that?"

She felt the lump in her throat again. "I let them bring up all the things he did when he was drinking. And I said…I said I was afraid of him."

Colt was silent for a long time. If she hadn't heard him breathing she would have thought he'd hung up.

"And I'm not!" she said. "I'm really not. I don't know why I agreed to say it, except that when they said all those things at one time, it made him seem scary."

"But he never hurt you, though, did he, Maddie?"

She could feel the tears welling up. "No. That's the awful thing. He didn't. And I know he wouldn't. He always tried to be a good dad and now I feel so awful." She blinked hard. She kept hearing Glenn's voice. _Don't cry._ She knew he meant about dealings with Lennox Hill, but then she thought it probably applied to everything.

"Well, can't you tell him that?"

"He won't talk to me."

He sighed. "You need to try, Maddie. My dad and I worked it out. You can too. Don't let it go on too long. It makes it harder to get past all the hurt."

Glenn caught her eye and gestured that it was time to board. "Look, I've got to get on a plane." She paused. "But Colt? Thanks. You're right. I need to talk to my dad."

"Make sure you do, Maddie. Life's too short and the people in our lives matter. It's important to make things right."

She nodded, even though she knew he couldn't see her. "Thanks, Colt."

* * *

When she had settled into her seat, Glenn looked at her over the top of his glasses. "You okay?" he asked.

She looked at him and nodded. "Yeah," she said with a sigh. "I know it wasn't everything we hoped, but I'm glad you were there."

He smiled. "It'll get better, I promise." He looked at her for a moment. "I was proud of you, Maddie. You did everything exactly right."

She smiled shyly. "Thanks, Glenn." Then she put her headphones on and sat back in her seat.

 ** _####_**

Rayna rubbed her hands together in her lap. Then she looked over at Deacon. "I've been thinking a lot about what you said about not feeling like you'd been able to be a father to Maddie. I know that how you found out was pretty shocking and none of that was handled very well. And I was struggling with my own emotions and feelings and anger and I couldn't even begin to deal with the emotions and feelings and anger of our daughter."

She ran her tongue over her lips. "You're right. I didn't help you. I just kind of turned away from it. And it wasn't really my intention to do that, but I did it anyway. It was easier. Teddy and I had a rhythm and it was easy to just do that, but I realize it wasn't fair to you. Or to Maddie."

He looked at her. This had been the hardest thing for him to wrap his mind around. He had listened to everything she'd said to him, ever since he'd found out about Maddie, about why she'd made the decisions she had, why she'd kept it a secret from him. And while he could wrap his head around the rational reasons for it, it was the emotional reasons that escaped him. Those were the ones he'd chosen to put aside, all for the chance to make things work with her. He nodded. "Thank you for that," he said. He swallowed hard and then he cleared his throat. "What's done is done though and it's time I ain't ever gonna get back." He sat forward and rubbed his face, then looked towards the ceiling. "I know it don't make a difference now, but I just keep wondering whether it coulda been different." He looked at her. "You know?"

She shrugged. "I don't know, Deacon. I mean, what would we have done differently?"

"If I coulda just known, Rayna. If I coulda had some kind of relationship with her."

She frowned. "You _did_ have a relationship with her. Her whole life, you had a relationship with her."

He frowned back at her. "But not as her daddy. You ever think, Rayna, that if she'd known I was her father her whole life that she might have understood me better? We could have talked about all those things that mattered. She coulda shared some of my life, maybe known Beverly and Scarlett better."

"I guess," she said, slowly. "I don't know, Deacon. I mean, we didn't do that, so there's really no way to know."

He raised his eyebrows. "It ain't even all about that, though, you know? It was the biggest part of our life together and you chose not to tell me about it. And I heard everything you said before about my being a drunk back then and how you didn't want to mess up her life by telling her, but why couldn't you have told _me_?"

She made a face. "Seriously, Deacon? You think I should have told you and not told her? I don't think you would have been okay with that, do you?"

He shook his head. "But we don't know. Because you never gave me a chance."

She sighed and looked down at her hands in her lap. "This is something we can't change. If I could fix it, I would."

"Would you? Really?"

She looked up at him. She opened her mouth to speak, then stopped. Finally she said, "I would have done a lot of things differently, Deacon," she said. "If I'd had a crystal ball. But I didn't. I had to make decisions in the moment and I tried to put our daughter first. Did I make mistakes? Yes, I did. I really didn't have a plan." Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes and started to streak down her cheeks. "It was an awful decision to make and one I wish I'd never had to make. I loved you, Deacon. I wanted a life with you so badly. I told you that."

He nodded. "Yeah, you did. And I believed you. I still believe you. But I gotta be honest, Ray, it's the thing that's always gonna be there between us. You didn't trust me enough to tell me we had a daughter. If she hadn't found out, I might never have known it. And because of all that, her world got turned upside down." He felt his own tears start to build and he swiped at his eyes. "And now we're here, sitting in front of a therapist, trying to figure out how to move forward together. Our daughter turned away from both of us. It ain't your fault or my fault, but because of all this, she got all screwed up. Can you even see that?"

She couldn't look at him, the tears rolling down her face. "How can we know that?" she said, her voice shaking. She finally looked at him. "If you just could have stayed sober."

He breathed out, trying hard to control himself. He knew the point of this was to lay everything out, break it all down, so they could rebuild, but every time he heard her blame him for something, his blood ran hot. "You ever thought that if you'd told me, it would have the thing that made a difference?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

She lowered her head. Then she nodded. "Yeah. I did think about that." She took a deep breath. "But you'd been in rehab four times, Deacon. And you'd checked yourself out early that fourth time. It wasn't just you and me anymore. There was a baby to think about. A baby who's whole life was going to depend on us."

He shook his head. "I don't know if I'll ever understand why you didn't give me a choice," he said. "Or even if you thought I couldn't do it and you still thought you had to marry Teddy, you could have at least told me. Instead of lying to me all those years."

He looked at her and she looked at him and the silence between them grew.

* * *

She tucked her arm through his and leaned her head on his shoulder. He looked over at her and covered the hand that lay on his arm with his own. Despite the slight chill in the air, it felt good to be sitting outside, breathing in fresh air. It was a bright and sunny late winter day, spring just around the corner, and sitting at the place where they'd come so often, during the years she was married to Teddy, just to talk, seemed like the right place to be.

"Will we ever get past this?" she asked, not looking at him. "I can't fix it and it feels like it's just going to always be there, standing in our way."

He looked back over the river, squinting his eyes against the sun. "You're right, it can't be fixed." He breathed in. "I suppose we could let it tear us apart. I guess I just need to stop being the one that has to take it all on. I get that I was in bad shape back then, Rayna, I do. And I can say I woulda done everything different, if I could have, and we both know that most of the time, when I said that, I couldn't follow through. But it was one of the things we didn't do together. You decided for us. Just like always. And we'll never know."

She sat up and looked at him, as he turned to look at her. "I will always believe I did the best I could for Maddie. But in doing that, I wasn't fair to you. Or her, really. I made decisions that caused you both pain and that wasn't my intent." She raised her eyebrows. "I have to live with that too, for the rest of my life. All the what-if's. What if I'd told you in the beginning? What if I'd given you a chance to be her father from the day she was born? What if I'd told you at some point along the way?"

He worked his lip. "You blame me, Rayna. You've always blamed me. It's part of what we've been talking about all this time. It's the way you think of me, because of all the things I done. I can't be the man you need me to be until you give up blaming me. Especially for this."

Her eyes filled with tears and she nodded. "You're right," she said, her voice shaking with emotion. "You're right." Then she started to cry and he reached out to pull her head back down on his shoulder and he rubbed her cheek with his thumb.

He took a deep breath, looking down at her. "Let's go home, baby," he said.


	7. Chapter 7

Maddie waited until Juliette was home from the hospital to stop by. She was happy to see her friend looking so good after the scary plane crash. She ran over to where Juliette was sitting on the couch and hugged her, careful not to cause her too much discomfort.

"I'm so glad to see you," she said with a smile.

"I'm glad to see you too," Juliette said. "Thank you for coming over."

Maddie took her hand. "Of course," she said. "How are you? Are you recovered?"

Juliette made a face. "I guess. Physically I'm recovered." She lifted a casted leg. "Except for this. And my scar is still healing from the surgery. But otherwise I'm good." She rolled her eyes. "The doctor wants me to see a therapist to deal with the crash." She breathed in. "I might do that though."

"That had to have been so scary."

Juliette gave her a tight smile. "Luckily I don't remember most of it." She paused and then put a real smile on her face. "Glenn told me about your trip, but I want to hear what _you_ think," she said, changing the subject.

Maddie sat back against the couch and made a face. "I'm not really happy with the song choices. It's mostly the stuff I wrote with Cash. But that's what she made me showcase."

"So what would you rather do?"

Maddie rolled her eyes. "Anything else. She had me writing all this really grown-up, sexy stuff and now it just feels weird. Like not me, you know?" She shrugged. "But it's just an EP, so…."

"Do you have other songs you like better?"

Maddie sighed. "Lots. Songs I wrote with Daphne." She paused. "With my dad."

Juliette looked compassionate. "Have you talked at all to your mom about any of this?"

Maddie shook her head. "Not really. That feels weird too."

Juliette smiled encouragingly and squeezed Maddie's hand. "Well, I bet she'd love to tell you what it was like for her back when she was sixteen. You should ask her."

"You could do that too," Maddie said, with a coy smile.

Juliette laughed. "Yeah, I could. And I will." She shook her finger at Maddie. "But I want you to talk to your mom too. I think it would help the two of you." Maddie nodded. Juliette's expression turned serious. "I know you might think it's all glamorous and cool to be on your own and making your own decisions and all that. Chasing your dream. And believe me, there's a lot of real satisfaction in being able to do what you were born to do." She smiled slyly and then she looked more wistful. "But my life was so terrible that I had to get away from it. And it scarred me, Maddie. Made me a hard-edged person who wasn't really very likeable. It doesn't need to be that way for you." She sighed. "I know that legally you're emancipated and that means you can make your own decisions and choices, but just remember you're also only sixteen and you don't have a lot of life experience yet. You are really so lucky to have parents who not only love you, but know what it's like to try to make it in this business at a young age. They have so much wisdom."

Maddie looked down. "I know. I feel terrible now about what happened."

Juliette leaned forward and put a finger under Maddie's chin, lifting her face up to look her in the eyes. "You can still fix that, Maddie. They let you back into their lives. Now it's up to you to work past it. Just because a piece of paper says you're legally on your own doesn't mean you can't ask for their advice – and take it – and ask for their help. I know they want to support you in your dreams. You just need to talk to them." She smiled encouragingly. "I wish I'd had that. I wish my mama had been able to support my dreams, but she just couldn't." She took a deep breath. "I would have loved to have parents like Rayna and Deacon in my corner. You're very lucky, you know." She reached out and pushed a strand of Maddie's hair behind her ear. "Talk to your mom."

Maddie hunched over and sighed deeply. "I just don't know if she really understands how important my career is to me. I mean, I love Daphne and I love performing with her, but I do want to stretch and grow on my own too. And it didn't feel like she was listening to me about that. It made me feel like she wanted to control me, not help me."

Juliette looked at her encouragingly. "Maddie, I think she'll understand. Just talk to her about your dreams. Ask her how she felt at your age. That might help. You know, I wish my mama had cared as much about me as yours does about you, wanting to help you do things the right way. She's not trying to control you, she just wants to be sure you aren't taken advantage of." She smiled. "And your dad can help too. The two of you were so close."

Maddie felt tears spring to her eyes at the mention of her father and she looked away in anguish. "I don't even know how to start talking to my dad," she said. She looked back at Juliette. "I told him I was sorry and he said we'd talk about it later, but we never have."

"Maddie, I know he was really hurt by everything, so give him a little time," Juliette said. "But he loves you, sweetie. I know he does. You know, he's been a good friend to me and I gave him a lot of opportunities to give up on me. And look how long he hung in there with your mom, not giving up. He's a loyal man and he loves deeply. He's not going to give up on you either, even if it's hard right now."

Maddie could feel the tears run down her face and reached up to brush them away. "I hope not," she said. "I really do want to make things right."

 ** _####_**

Their therapy session had been very low key, not like a normal session. One of the things Deacon was beginning to notice was the distance he felt from Rayna during a session and immediately afterwards. He wasn't sure he liked that and he didn't think she did either. Dr. Voris surprised them at the end by giving them an assignment. "We've done a lot of work here," he said, "and I think the two of you have touched on some really important themes in your relationship. You've talked about the issues and the things that have caused you pain. But instead of continuing to focus on the negative, I think it's time we start looking at what's next." He looked back and forth between the two of them. "I want you to spend some time over the next few days talking about what you'd like your relationship to be going forward. How do you build on the love you share and the connection you so obviously have? And then we can talk about that."

As usual, they got up from the couch and walked out, not touching, not talking. He looked at her as she wound her scarf around her neck, looking distracted. He held his hand out to her and she looked up at him. He felt something start to unwind inside of him and he wanted nothing more than just to be with her, to hold hands and look into her eyes. He saw her eyes soften and the tenseness in her body seemed to ease. She gave him a tiny smile and slipped her hand into his. He wrapped his fingers around her hand, feeling the softness and warmth of her skin. He felt a sense of comfort flow through him as he stood and looked at her.

She tightened her hand in his and her smile grew a little larger and warmed her face. Her eyes seemed to sparkle. "Should we go somewhere and talk?" she asked.

He smiled back at her and nodded. He knew just where she wanted to go.

* * *

Turned out he was wrong. She directed him to the pedestrian bridge, a place he wasn't sure lent itself well to serious conversation, but since it was still a bit chilly and breezy, there weren't a lot of people out walking. She tucked her arm through his and he put his hands in the pockets of his jacket, as they strolled almost halfway out. They said little, just walking slowly, bumping each other as they walked. Her hair whipped around them in the breeze and he felt his eyes tear up from the chill. Or maybe it was because it felt good to just walk with her and feel close to her and not angry or hurt or any of the other things he usually felt after a session with Dr. Voris.

They reached one of the overlooks and Rayna tugged at his arm and he followed her into the space. She stood facing back towards the city skyline and he stood behind her, wrapping his arms around her. She grabbed his arms with her hands and leaned back into him. "Do you remember the night we sat along the river in Cumberland Park and looked across at downtown, all lit up?" she asked.

He leaned down, nuzzling her neck a little. "I remember lots of nights we did that," he said, with a chuckle.

"I was thinking about the night we promised we'd always be there for each other, no matter what," she said, her voice sounding a little wistful. "I told you then you were my family."

He hugged her closer. "I remember," he said. "And if I remember right, it was your seventeenth birthday."

She turned in his arms and smiled up at him. "It was," she said. She wrapped her arms around his waist and he did the same. "I felt so safe with you. So loved. So protected. I didn't ever remember feeling like that before."

He leaned down and gently kissed her on the forehead. "I was still pinching myself every morning when I woke up. When I looked over and you were still there, I could hardly believe it. You made me feel like I was something more than the white trash from Natchez."

She shook her head. "You were never that, babe," she said. "You were so talented and so sweet. To me, anyway." She laughed. "You took me seriously. And you were kind about what a terrible guitar player I was." She grinned.

He laughed. "I didn't want to hurt your feelings. Plus I was afraid if I said something, you wouldn't have nothing to do with me again."

She looked at him a little wistfully. "You always tried to do right by me," she said.

He thought about that. He'd really not done a great job at that part. He'd loved her, of course, strong and true, but he'd been a mess most of the time they'd been together. She had surely loved him much more than he'd ever deserved. But maybe she'd seen something in him that he hadn't known was there. He breathed in and looked over her head at the skyline beyond. Then he looked back down at her. "I never meant to disappoint you," he said. "I always meant to take care of you. Be there for you. Be who you needed me to be."

She nodded. "You know, I told Tandy, the day we got married, that you were the best man I knew. And you were. You still are." She lifted her shoulders a bit and smiled up at him. "Everything you've ever done has been because you love me. Maybe it didn't always turn out the way you wanted, or I wanted, but I never doubted the love. I don't now." He saw tears glisten in her eyes and he wasn't sure if they were real tears or the result of the breeze. "But I think I've made you doubt my love for you." She lifted her hand and pressed it against his chest. "I didn't mean to do that, but I know I have."

He shook his head. "Nah, baby…."

She made a face. "Yes, I have. It's why we haven't been able to really resolve this…this mess we've been in."

He frowned slightly. "Rayna, I always known you loved me. Even when you tried to pretend you didn't. I know we been stuck in this old pattern and a lot of the reason for that is me. I'm just glad you're still here. Fighting for us." He slid his hands up her back and around her shoulders, pulling her in closer. "Can you really forgive me…."

She shook her head. "I think we've already done that, don't you? And we both needed to do that. This isn't all on you."

He let out a pained laugh, still feeling guilty. "I don't deserve you," he said.

She frowned. "Of course you do. Please don't ever think that again. Actually, _I'm_ the one who doesn't deserve _you_. Think of everything I've done. I lied to you about Maddie, I pushed you away so many times instead of trying to work things out, I kept you in my life – selfishly – for all those years, knowing how it was probably killing you. I made you wait for me and work for it and what I really should have done was just listen with my heart."

He leaned down and brushed her lips with his. "So, what do we do now?" he asked.

"We love each other and we support each other," she said. Then she smiled. "And we'll probably fight and make up. And we'll make music out of that." Then she turned serious and breathed in. "And we figure out how to fix our family."

He rubbed his hands over her back and nodded seriously. "Let's go do that," he said. Then he leaned in and kissed her, really kissed her, and had the feeling that his world had finally re-centered itself.

 ** _####_**

Maddie walked down the stairs and into the den. Her mom was sitting on the couch, reading. She looked up as Maddie entered the room. "Hey, sweet girl," she said, with a smile. She set her book down on the side table and moved to sit up. She patted the couch next to her. "Come sit."

Maddie gave her a little smile and went to sit next to her. "Where is everybody?" she asked.

"Well, Daphne's gone to school and Deacon…well, I'm not really sure where he is," Rayna said, her face screwed up. "He dropped Daphne off and then went to take care of some things, I think."

Maddie sighed. "He and Daphne are getting really close," she said.

Rayna nodded. "They are. And I'm glad. You know, your sister was feeling a little bit like she was on the outside and Deacon's trying really hard to kind of take her under his wing a bit." She put her arm around Maddie's shoulders. "You're not worried about that, are you?"

Maddie looked at her and shook her head. "No, I'm not. I know she's safe." Rayna breathed in sharply when she said that and Maddie hurriedly added, "I wish I'd never said that about him."

Rayna pulled her into an embrace and leaned her head against her daughter's. "I know."

Maddie sighed. "Do you think he'll ever see me the same way again?"

"I do. He loves you Maddie. Even after everything that happened, he was right there, trying to find you, trying to figure out a way to bring you home. He went to find you that day, without even saying anything, because he wanted you home so badly."

"But it doesn't feel like he wants me here."

Rayna hugged her. "I think he's not sure what to say." She looked at Maddie encouragingly. "Maybe just sit down and talk to him, tell him again how you feel. Can you do that?"

Maddie sighed, then nodded. "Yeah, I can do that." She paused for a moment, then looked back at her mom. "What was it like for you when you were starting out? When you were my age?"

Rayna looked a little misty-eyed as she looked off in the distance. "Probably a lot like how you're feeling now," she said softly. Then she looked back at her daughter. "I _do_ know how you feel, Maddie. I wanted to be an artist so badly I could taste it. And my father told me no. He didn't want me to do that and I didn't understand why. I'm still not sure I totally understand why. But he took such a hard line with me and I really did rebel, kind of like you did. But, you know, the difference between us is that I never didn't want it for you. I just wanted you to be smart about it. Smarter than I was."

"But you did it anyway. And you became a huge star."

Rayna nodded. "I did. But it was probably harder than it needed to be. Back then, being so young, I didn't get taken seriously. And I didn't have a manager, like Glenn, to help me right away. Bucky didn't come along until later. Your father and I played a whole lot of dive bars and clubs and hole in the wall places, anywhere that would take us." She turned slightly and took Maddie's hands in hers. "I just wanted to help smooth the way for you. I didn't want you to have to make all these decisions on your own. I wanted to give you the benefit of what I'd learned."

Maddie nodded. "You still can."

"I will answer any questions you have. And I know I told you that all these decisions are yours – and they are – but I'm still your mama." She smiled. "I still care what happens to you. And I don't want you to be hurt. So I'll still keep an eye on you. And your father will too."

Maddie smiled shyly. "I'd really like that." She tilted her head to one side. "Were you scared back then?"

Rayna laughed. "Oh, yeah. I was terrified, all the time. There were so many times when I would go home at night and wonder if I could even do it. And then when I was out on my own, knowing I had to take care of myself, well, there were plenty of times I thought about running home."

"But you didn't," Maddie said.

Rayna shook her head. "No, I didn't. I kept pushing and finally I found someone to help me with the things I didn't know anything about and it got better." She looked intently at Maddie. "It will for you too."

Maddie sighed. "I hope so."

Rayna pulled her back into her arms. "You know, I remember holding you in my arms when you were first born, and I promised you I would always protect you. And I've always tried to do that. I was always afraid you, and your sister, would want to follow in my footsteps and I didn't want y'all to do it alone. When I knew how talented you both were, I really wanted to keep you hidden away for a while, let you have a normal life, and maybe that was wrong. But I wanted you to have a good experience and not go through some of the same things I did." She hugged Maddie tightly. "I _do_ understand your dreams, sweetie. I had the same ones. And I still want to protect you. I can't help it. It's part of what being a mama is all about."

Maddie leaned into her mother and grasped her hands. "How did you feel when I was born?" she asked.

Rayna smiled. "I was so happy. You were so beautiful and I loved you so much."

Maddie turned her head to look at Rayna. "I mean, how did you feel, knowing I was Deacon's?"

Rayna's smile faded just a little. "That part made me sad. I had wanted to have a family with him and it was just so impossible then. I did what I thought I needed to do for you, for both of us, really. I know it all ended up hurting you – and him – but you were the most important person in my life and I wanted you to be safe." She sighed. "I was glad you were his, though. I'm glad you're _our_ daughter, that we share that." She smiled at Maddie and then kissed her on the forehead.

Maddie smiled. "I'm glad too," she said, and then settled back in her mother's arms.

 ** _####_**

Rayna rolled over and onto her back, her hair splayed out over the pillow, breathing heavily. A smile crossed her face and then she laughed. "Oh my God, babe," she said, a little breathless. "That was seriously amazing." She turned her head to look at Deacon, who was breathing hard as well, his hand on his chest.

He laughed too. "Yeah, you're right," he said. "That _was_ pretty amazing." He rolled onto his side, facing her, and traced his finger down the side of her face. "We still got it, baby."

She looked into the face of this man she loved and felt overwhelmed with emotions. She took a deep breath. "This is what I want our relationship to be, Deacon," she said. "How well we know each other. And love each other. How we know what the other needs and can unselfishly give that. I always thought that's how we'd be and that's what I want."

He breathed in and nodded. "Me too."

She rolled towards him and put her hand on his face. "I remember thinking I would never forget how it felt when I thought I was going to lose you. That night when we sat in the music room and we talked about the idea that you wouldn't make it." She could see the emotions playing across his face. "It might seem strange, but I actually felt at peace. Like we knew what was coming and we'd just make the best of it. That at least we'd had that time together to be together the way we were meant to be." She smiled. "And then that didn't happen and we really _were_ going to have that whole rest of our life together." Her smile faded then. "And we nearly blew it," she said, her voice thick with emotion. "We forgot how precious this is, for a minute, and…."

He leaned in and kissed her. "Let's not forget," he said.

She ran her fingers over his face, looking deep into his eyes. "The thing is, I just can't unlove you, you know?" She scrunched up her face. "I tried, you know I did, back when I married Teddy, after the accident, but I just couldn't. And I can't now." She could see his feelings in his eyes. It was something she'd always known about him, that he was an open book. She had always been able to see the hurt, the sadness, the anger, as well as the joy. What she saw now was a mix of relief and his desire to make things work, which encouraged her.

"Deacon, we did this so we could be a family. The family you and I were and the family we made together." He looked up over her head. "I know how badly Maddie hurt you. But I really believe that wasn't her intent, that Cash led her there. She needs you. And I think you need her. I know you've spent a lot of time with Daphne and I think it's to help fill that gap. But I want you to think about letting Maddie back in. Just talk to her." He looked back at her. "Will you do that? For me?"

She couldn't tell what he was thinking, but finally he nodded. "I will," he said.

 ** _A/N: Thanks so much to all the readers and to those who've left reviews. Love hearing what you think as well as your ideas._**


	8. Chapter 8

The session with Dr. Voris had revolved mostly around how life would go forward with Maddie. Deacon had still been struggling with that relationship and Rayna wanted to be as supportive as she could. She was trying to be patient, but she really wanted to push him a little. She took his hands in hers. "So what are we gonna do?" she asked, relative to how they might help their daughter navigate her new life.

Deacon breathed in. "We ain't gonna do anything," he said. "We need to let her figure it out."

She made a face. "I don't know…."

"Ray, she's like you. Headstrong, stubborn, wants it right now. She don't really want us running her life. She'll learn, like you did."

She shrugged. "I guess. Maybe not about me being stubborn though…." She gave him a sly smile.

His eyes softened. "I just wanna help put us all back together instead of pulling us apart."

"I know." She smiled encouragingly.

He shook his head. "I know you thought I screwed things up. Back when you got pregnant, when Maddie found out I was her father, at the hearing, at Frankie's, but it wasn't what I was trying to do."

She squeezed his hands. "I know, babe. And it's not all on you. I made decisions back then when Maddie was born that put us on this path. And Maddie was angry at me too. This was as much about me as you. Maybe more. We just need to be a team. Work together." She sighed. "And maybe you need to reach out to her a little more."

 _ **####**_

Deacon was working on some music in the music room and was so focused on what he was doing, he didn't hear the door open. He glanced up when he caught movement across from him, then took a second look when he realized it was Maddie. His heart seemed to start beating faster and his mouth felt dry. He put down his pencil and then lifted the guitar off his lap and set it down next to him. Maddie was dressed pretty casually, not in the stuff that, in his mind, made her look too old. She seemed younger, somehow, dressed in a pair of simple jeans and an old Opry t-shirt.

She sat on the edge of the couch, looking like she could take off at any moment, her hands clasped tightly on her knees. He watched her breathe in and then out. "Am I interrupting?" she asked, her voice so quiet he almost didn't hear it.

He shook his head at first, unable to open his mouth. He swallowed hard. "Nah. I'm just working on some stuff," he said finally. He waited. He had told Rayna he'd talk to Maddie, but he wanted her to make the first move. She hadn't been sure that was the right way, but she'd come around.

 _Rayna sat on the bench as he pulled on his boots, pulling her legs up underneath her and facing him. He stopped and looked at her. "What are you going to do about Maddie?" she asked._

 _He worked his lip and finished pulling on his boots. "You know, I thought about it a lot and I think I need to wait for her."_

 _She frowned. "Are you sure? Shouldn't you reach out and let her know it's okay?"_

 _He sighed, then sat back and looked at her. "I don't know what she's feeling, Ray. She said she was scared of me, scared to live in the same house as me. I know she's living here now, but I don't want to assume anything. And all that stuff that came out." He sat forward and rubbed his hands over his face. "That's a lot for a daughter to hear about her father. I didn't never want her to know all that stuff, Rayna." He leaned forward on his knees and lowered his head. "I'm her daddy and they told her I done all this stuff. That I hurt you, that I got my best friend killed, that I beat up people."_

 _She reached out and put her hand on his arm. "But that's not you, babe. And so much of that was distorted. And she did hear the truth."_

 _He looked over at her. "You sure? It sorta looked to me like she wasn't listening. Like she didn't wanna hear it." He sighed. "I need her to say she wants to work it out. Then I'll know she does, not that she feels I'm forcing her. Can you understand that?"_

 _She looked at him for a moment and then finally she nodded. "I understand. But when she does, please listen, with an open heart."_

 _He put his hand over hers. "I will, baby. I promise."_

Maddie sighed again. "I really want you to know how sorry I am," she said. "For everything. For everything I said and everything that happened."

He sat and looked at her. He knew she wanted him to say something, but he really didn't quite know what that was. The truth was, she'd been pulling away from him for months, long before she'd gone down the emancipation path, and he hadn't understood why. At least not until the day of the wedding, when she'd told Rayna about seeing him tear up the room he'd redecorated for Beverly at his house and talked about how she felt about the incident with the paparazzi after the rehearsal dinner. He breathed in. "Then why?" he asked. "Why'd you do it?"

She looked up and away, her lip quivering a bit and the hint of tears in her eyes. "They told me I needed to do that," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "That if I wanted to be emancipated I had to do it. And I thought it was what I wanted."

He closed his eyes. He thought back to the first time he'd actually gotten to be Maddie's father. The night Rayna had brought her to the Bluebird to hear him perform. Things had been so awkward and strained between him and Rayna then and he had stayed away from Maddie, not sure what his place was or how to act towards her. But they had talked that night, after his performance, and although it had still seemed surreal that she was his daughter, it had also felt strangely comfortable and right. It had felt like he'd thought it should feel, how he'd hoped it would feel. Now things just felt strained and awkward again.

"I don't know what to say about that," he said. "I'm not sure what you _want_ me to say about that."

Her face got all screwed up then. "I don't know," she said, her voice shaky. "I just hate that things are like this."

He took a deep breath and let it out. "Well, I hate it too, but damn, Maddie, you broke my heart. All I tried to do was love you and…you broke my heart." He lowered his head.

He could hear her quietly crying and he could feel his heart breaking again. It wasn't that he didn't want to fix things, but he wanted to understand what really was at the root of it, so they could really heal. He didn't think just being sorry was enough. Besides, he could still picture the annoyance on her face and the dismissiveness in her voice, that night he and Rayna had confronted her at Cash's. _You're always sorry and nothing ever changes._ How could he be sure things had really changed?

"What can I do, Dad?" she asked. "What can I say?"

He looked up at her. He hated the hurt on her face. He wanted to be able to tell her it would be okay, but there was a lot to fix. He shook his head. "I don't know, Maddie," he said. "I really don't know. I think it's just gonna take some time."

She sniffed and wiped her eyes, nodding. "Do you think we'll ever get there?" she asked.

He breathed out. "I want to," he said. "I really do want to."

She fidgeted with her hands. "I'm, uh, working with Glenn tomorrow on finding a producer for my EP, so I'd really like to talk more after that." She looked down at her hands, then back again. "I feel like I need to know more about _you_. Would you be willing to tell me? I want to understand."

He cleared his throat. "Ah, I don't know, Maddie. All that's a long time ago and not a very pretty story. It ain't something you probably need to hear."

"I think maybe I do. There's a lot I don't understand. Maybe if I did, things could be better."

He breathed in and rubbed his face. "I don't know. I gotta think about that."

She sat silently and finally he picked up his guitar and put it back on his lap. He ran his thumb over the strings a few times. "Did you come to Nashville to be a singer or just a songwriter?" she asked.

He stopped, laying his hand flat against the strings, and looked up at her. "Both, actually," he said. He took a deep breath. "I done a little writing. Beverly and me, we sang some of the stuff I wrote back then." He cleared his throat. "Actually me and Bev were supposed to come to Nashville together, but I ended up coming by myself."

"How old were you then?"

"Seventeen. Not much older than you."

She was quiet for a moment, then nodded. "So you know what it feels like to chase a dream." She said it more like a statement than a question.

He breathed in, raising his eyebrows. She surely came by this honestly. It was in her blood. "Yeah, I do," he said finally.

 _ **####**_

Rayna walked into the den. Deacon was laying on the couch, the TV on. She stood for a moment, having no idea what he was watching, and decided he must just have it on for background noise. She walked over and sat on the edge of the couch and reached for the remote, turning off the TV.

"Hey, I was watching that," he protested.

She looked at him with a skeptical look on her face. "Seriously, babe? That didn't even look like something a guy would watch," she said.

He smiled. "It's 'Downton Abbey'. I was watching it to get caught up so I could talk to Daphne about it."

She grinned. "Really? Oh, babe, that's sweet of you." She made a face. "I got so bored with that show." She moved so that she could lay back against him, nestling herself between his legs as he wrapped his arms around her.

He chuckled. "Oh, it _is_ boring. I won't say that to Daphne though. I think she likes having someone to watch with."

She smiled to herself. "Well, it is nice of you to do that." She put her hand over his, rubbing her thumb over his skin.

"Maddie and I talked a little today," he said.

"Really?" She turned her head to look up at him. "Was it a good conversation?"

He shrugged. "It really wasn't much of one." He sighed. "I think she wants it all fixed right away." He looked at her. "Same as you. But it just ain't gonna happen that way." He nuzzled her neck a little. "She asked me about my past. Wants to know 'more about me', was how she put it."

"Well, babe, maybe you should do that." She could feel him stiffen. "I know you feel like it's too much. And you don't have to tell her every little thing, you know, but maybe help her understand where you came from."

"I don't know, Ray. I mean, do you seriously think me telling her I had a drunk for a father and a crazy mama would be helpful? That _my_ father really _was_ scary and beat us up? That my mama didn't protect me and Beverly?"

She ran her hand up and down his arm in a soothing motion. "Well, maybe not that much detail, but you could tell her you had a tough life, but that you always tried to do better."

"Rayna, I would never hurt her." She could hear the pain in his voice.

She turned in his arms so she could look at him. "Oh, babe, I know that. You have always loved Maddie and you were always so good to her."

He looked at her, pain filling his eyes. "But you were afraid to let me be her daddy, all those years," he said. "Even after I found out, you were scared…."

It hurt her heart to be reminded of how she'd doubted him in the beginning, how she'd tried to keep him away from Maddie, once he knew. "Honey, you've always been a good dad to our daughter. Always," she said, her voice soft. "Right from the beginning, you wanted to do right by her, and you always did your best. And the two of you had a good relationship. I just want you to have that again."

He looked at her and smiled just a little, his eyes looking a little misty. "Me too, baby," he said. "Me too."

 _ **####**_

Maddie wandered off into the hallway, as Glenn worked through some of his managerial duties, along with the lawyers. This was the boring part of being an artist, the part she hadn't known about. She thought it was all about writing songs and recording them and getting up on stage, not negotiating over tracks and picking out background vocalists and wading through a long list of possible producers. She sat on one of the uncomfortable chairs and reached for her phone.

She kept hoping maybe she'd hear from Colt again, but that hadn't happened. She'd texted him a few times and he responded back with brief, vague answers. She'd finally decided she had messed that up. It made her sad, but she knew she needed to move on. He had. He'd seemed to have found what he needed to be doing and now she needed to do the same. She scrolled through her contacts and pressed her thumb on Juliette's name, then lifted the phone to her ear.

"Hey there, girl, what's up?" Juliette said when she answered. She could hear Juliette's baby cooing in the background.

"Did I interrupt you?" she asked, frowning.

"No, no, not at all. Cadence is watching 'Frozen' on the TV. She surely does love that movie for some reason," Juliette said, with a laugh. "I think her uncles Gunnar and Will got her hooked on it. So have y'all picked a producer yet?"

Maddie sighed. "No. Glenn's in there right now. That's just so boring to me."

"Well, it may be, but whoever you choose to produce you is a big decision. That's someone who you'll spend a ton of time with and who can make or break you on your first record."

"Really? I guess I never thought it was such a big deal."

"Oh, it absolutely is. I think that was one of the reasons your mama loved her album _The Parts I Remember_ so much. She had a producer who really understood her vision and helped her realize it. And it turned into a really great record that got her all those CMA's and went platinum. So it's very important." She paused. "It's almost as important as who you go on your first tour with."

Maddie sighed. "I guess."

"So, it's gonna be a little while before I get back out on the road, but that'll give you enough time to get your EP out and get some buzz going."

Maddie sat back. "What are you saying?" she asked, as a smile started to creep across her face.

"Just that I'm gonna ask if you can open for me when I go back out on tour."

Maddie squealed and then noticed that people had turned to look at her. She turned towards the wall. "Are you serious?" she asked. "You want _me_ to go out on tour with _you_?"

Juliette laughed. "I do. Who's been in your corner all this time? Hopefully we can make it work out. But your job is gonna be to make that record a hit so that we can generate buzz from it."

Maddie was beaming. "I can't believe it, Juliette. This is so awesome! I can't wait." Just then Glenn stuck his head out the door and beckoned for her. "Okay, so I gotta go back in there. But this is just the best. Thank you so much!"

"Just promise me you'll put out a killer album."

"I will. I promise. Bye!" She disconnected and sat for a moment, smiling to herself, just taking in the idea of going on tour with Juliette. It was like a dream come true.

Glenn stuck his head out again. "Let's go, Maddie," he said, looking slightly annoyed. She smiled at him and got up, heading back into the meeting room feeling a lot more positive about her future.

 _ **####**_

Deacon sat at the kitchen island, listening to Rayna and Maddie. Actually it was more accurate to say, he was watching Rayna and Maddie. This was more Rayna's sweet spot than his, not that Maddie was really listening to her mother. She was mostly venting, in fact, alternately mad at her label for thwarting her, and Glenn, for not fixing it for her.

As he watched, he was struck by how this was just typical teenage behavior and Maddie not getting what she wanted. Not that he was an expert on typical teenage behavior, but he did recognize this was what Maddie did when she didn't get her way. Rayna, he could tell, was trying to be the voice of reason, without forcing her opinion on their daughter, but he could also see she wasn't having much success.

It was obvious to him, and he knew to Rayna as well, that Maddie didn't have the maturity yet to make good decisions. He wondered again why Cash would have hung her hat on a young, immature teenager but, as Rayna had said, Cash saw Maddie as her golden ticket. Maddie was young enough, and naïve enough, to be manipulated and that's what Cash found so enticing about her. She wanted to use Maddie to fix what she believed was wrong in her own life.

He was brought back to the present when Maddie declared, "I know Dad understands chasing a dream and not getting it." Maddie and Rayna both looked at him. He could tell Rayna knew he hadn't been listening but Maddie just kept going. "I just don't get why they think Juliette's tour is wrong for me. We're so much alike." He could see Rayna wince a little at that.

Maddie made an irritated noise then and took off for the stairs. Rayna turned to him. "Did you tell her you chased your dream and didn't get it?" she asked, looking confused.

He shook his head. "I did not." He breathed in. "I told her the other day I came to Nashville to be a singer and a songwriter. And she knows I was mostly your bandleader. So I guess she thinks I didn't get my dream." He smiled at her. "She don't realize that _was_ my dream."

Rayna smiled back at him, a little sadly. "You really could have had more," she said, a little wistfully.

He frowned and walked around to her, pulling her into his arms. "When I met you, I knew that was what I'd been looking for," he said earnestly. "You know that. You know I was happy with that."

She put her hands on his arms and looked up at him. She nodded. "I know." She took a deep breath and motioned with her head towards the stairs. "You could go talk to her."

* * *

Deacon stood at Maddie's door, leaning against it. She looked up at him. "So things ain't going the way you wanted?" he asked.

Maddie sighed. "No. And it's just not fair. Juliette wants me on her tour and I don't understand why they won't let me."

He shrugged. "Well, usually they try to match you up…."

She threw her arms out and looked annoyed. "That's just it! She and I are so much alike. It would be perfect!"

"Maybe they want you to be with an artist with a bigger reach."

She rolled her eyes. "Or maybe they don't understand my dream. You know how that is, right?"

He shook his head and smiled wryly. "Actually I wouldn't say that exactly. I got to do everything I ever wanted. Got to be a respected guitar player, put out a couple albums, went on tour as a solo artist, wrote a bunch of hit songs with your mama…."

She looked at him with frustration. "But didn't you want more? Your own career?"

He raised his eyebrows. "Maddie, I found what I was looking for when I met your mom. I wanted to perform with her and make music with her and I done that for a whole lotta years. You want to do work that's satisfying. And you need to understand that it can take time. It took your mama a long time before she got to be on a big tour and do the things she wanted."

Maddie sighed dramatically. "But I can be on a big tour now. I just don't get why they're not okay with that."

Deacon thought that her label probably wanted to pair her with a different type of artist. He wasn't at all sure Juliette was the right start for her anyway, but he had decided not to weigh in on that. "You gotta trust 'em," he said. "They're your label and you gotta trust they'll take care of you. And that Glenn will." He was more sure of Glenn than he was of her label and was glad she'd chosen him as her manager.

She looked like she wanted to cry or throw a tantrum or something. "I just don't understand," she muttered.

He gave her a tight smile. "You gotta be patient. It'll come. You have a lot of talent. Don't push too hard." Maddie scowled and then crossed her arms around her waist, looking away. He looked at her for a moment, then turned to leave.

"Dad?" she called out. He turned back. She smiled a little tremulously. "Thanks."

He nodded and then headed out of her room, pausing just a second to tap the door jamb with his hand. As he walked down the hallway, he thought maybe they had already started to take that next step.


	9. Chapter 9

Deacon was sitting on the bench at the foot of the bed, taking off his boots. Rayna was sitting on the side of the bed, rubbing lotion onto her arms, finishing up her nightly routine. "So, I talked to Glenn today," she said.

He looked back at her over his shoulder. She was focused on massaging the lotion on her arms and not looking at him. "I thought we weren't gonna do that," he said, and sat back.

She shrugged, still not looking at him. "I know. But Maddie was upset and I didn't feel like we had the whole story and I…" She turned to look at him then. "I just wanted to know what we were dealing with, babe."

He gave her a side-eyed look and then got up, picking up his boots, and heading for his closet. He stopped at the doorway and looked at her back. "It's a slippery slope, Ray. You know that," he said, a warning note to his voice. Then he went into the closet and dropped his boots on the floor.

After a moment, she appeared at the closet door. "The reason they're turning down Juliette is because they're not marketing Maddie as a country artist. At least that's the stated reason," she said.

He raised his eyebrows. "There's more?" He felt his chest tighten as he looked at her standing there, in an old Bluebird t-shirt with a deep V-cut that showed off her cleavage, and the little shorts she sometimes wore to bed, showing off her long, lean legs. He breathed in.

She rolled her eyes. "Well, you know how Cash told her she was gonna be the next Taylor Swift? Well, that's how she sold Maddie to Lennox Hill. As a pop artist. So they want to get her on a tour that promotes that."

He frowned just a little. "Is that not what she wants?"

She shrugged. "I'm not really sure what she wants, to be honest. I guess I always thought she wanted to be a country artist. But some of that music she was writing with Cash sure wasn't country."

He rolled his eyes. "That garbage she was writing with Cash was hardly music, Ray. You shoulda heard that song she was doing at Skulls."

She leaned against the door jamb and sighed. "I know. I guess we need to let her feel her way." She gave him a knowing look. "You know, it's just hard for me not to want to help."

He gave her a little smile. "I know, baby. Just be careful. Don't go where you ain't asked." She nodded. He pulled off his shirt and reached for a t-shirt.

"Why don't you not put that on?" she purred. He turned to look at her. She nodded towards his jeans. "And just go ahead and take those off too."

He smirked. "Oh, really?"

She nodded with a smile. "Yes. I think that would be best, don't you?"

He grinned. "I do believe I agree with you on that." Then he raised his eyebrows. "Under one condition though."

She looked amused. "And what would that be?" she asked.

He walked over to her and took her in his arms, leaning in to kiss her. Then, leaning his forehead against hers, he said, "That you do the same."

 _ **####**_

Rayna was standing at the counter, getting her coffee and purse organized so that she could head out to the office for an early meeting. Maddie came running down the stairs and into the kitchen, still in her pajamas. She stopped, looked around, and then crossed her arms and pouted. "What's the matter, sweet girl?" Rayna asked her, frowning.

Maddie threw her arms out in an exasperated expression. "I never get down here early enough," she whined. "He takes Daphne to school and then he doesn't come back. How am I ever gonna talk to him if he's never here?"

Rayna frowned. "I don't think that's really true, that he never comes back. But you've been busy too, remember." She set her things down and went over to where her daughter stood and led her over to the couch, where they both sat. She needed to get to that meeting, and she was sure Bucky would be pinging her shortly, but Maddie needed her right now. "I'm sure he'll be back today," she said.

Maddie looked like she wanted to cry then and Rayna was struck by how young her daughter looked. She'd taken great pains to try to look older the last few months and today, with no makeup and her hair just hanging loose around her shoulders, she looked her age. "I just can't stand this, Mom," she cried. "I miss him. I miss writing songs with him and working on my music with him. I hate how we never really _talk_ to each other."

Rayna reached for Maddie's hand. "What do you want to say to him?" she asked.

Maddie sighed. "That I'm sorry. That I didn't mean any of that. That I want things the way they used to be."

Rayna put her arm around Maddie's shoulders and pulled her in. "You should tell him that," she said.

"I don't know if he would believe me," Maddie said, her voice catching on a sob.

Rayna took a deep breath. "Well, Maddie, if that's really how you feel, I think he will." Maddie was quiet. "Is it true? That you never meant any of it?"

Maddie took a deep breath. "I was confused. I was scared." She sat up and looked at her mom. "Of what he was doing. I mean, I'd never seen him like that before. He yelled a few times, but he never broke anything or tore up a room or hit anyone." Tears rolled down her cheeks. "It was like he was someone else. And that made me think about the accident and how he almost killed you."

Rayna felt a stab in her gut. It was exactly what Deacon had been worried about, that she really was afraid of him. Maybe it was because she'd lived with it for so long that it didn't have the same impact on her that it did on Maddie. She thought back to when it had all started, back when she wasn't a whole lot older than her daughter, and remembered how scared she was then. She breathed in and then took Maddie's hands. "I'm so sorry you saw all that," she said. "I do know it must have been scary. And if I brushed it off and didn't make you feel like I took you seriously, I'm so sorry. But I was telling you the truth when I told you that isn't all he is. He does feel things very deeply and he cares about the people he loves and wants to protect them. I know he doesn't want to make you afraid and it hurt him terribly to realize you felt that way."

Maddie struggled for a moment with her composure. "I'm not really afraid of him. I think I was afraid _for_ him. That he would do something terrible and not mean to. Like the accident."

Rayna sighed. She knew she needed to correct Maddie's perception of that. "Sweetheart, I need you to understand the accident wasn't all his fault. Yes, he was drunk, but he wasn't driving. I was distracted and we were arguing and, well, it was an accident." She took Maddie's hands again. "I did blame him for that for a long time, but the truth is, we both share the blame. So please don't put it all on him anymore." Maddie looked at her for a long moment, then nodded. Rayna cleared her throat. "I'm gonna give you some advice. I know I told you I wouldn't, but about this, I am." She looked intently into Maddie's eyes. "Ask him. He wants to talk to you, but he needs you to ask him."

Maddie nodded again. "Okay. But what do I ask him?"

Rayna smiled encouragingly. "You went a lot of years without him as your father. So you didn't really get to know him. Ask him to tell you about himself. He may not tell you everything, because he had a really difficult life, but I think he'll tell you enough so that you understand who he is. What kind of man he became." She squeezed Maddie's hands. "He's a really good man, sweetheart, who loves very deeply. And he loves _us_ – you, me, Daphne."

Maddie smiled a little. "I know." She took a deep breath. "Okay. I'll talk to him. I'll wait and I'll talk to him."

Rayna reached in and hugged her daughter, feeling better about things for the first time in weeks.

 _ **####**_

Deacon sat in his truck in front of the house. He'd gotten Rayna's text. _Maddie's waiting. Please talk to her._ He felt anxious, a little apprehensive. He wasn't sure what he'd say if she probed into his past. _When_ she did that, because he knew she would. He didn't want to disappoint her any more than he already had, but there wasn't much positive about his life before he came to Nashville. He thought about his conversation with Rayna that morning.

 _He was laying on his back, looking at the ceiling, with her curled up against him on her side, her hand on his chest. "What are you afraid of?" she asked._

 _He thought about that and worked his lip a moment. Then he sighed. "I guess, that I'm not who she thought I was. That she really is afraid of me."_

 _She ran her hand over his chest. "I just don't believe that, Deacon. She's known you her whole life. Why would she decide now that she's afraid?"_

 _He covered her hand with his and squeezed it gently. "She never saw that before, Ray. You know that. When I was just your bandleader, it was all fun and guitars and Uncle Deacon. This is real life and she's with me all the time and, you know, this is me."_

 _She pushed up on her elbow to look at him and he turned towards her. "Babe, that is not everything you are. You know that and she knows that too. You need to remember that she wants to talk to you. She wants to make things right. That should tell you something right there."_

He supposed Rayna was right about that. If Maddie wanted to talk to him, it must mean she wanted to listen. Finally he knew he couldn't put it off any longer and he opened the door and got out, walking slowly to the door.

* * *

When Deacon walked in the back door, Maddie was standing at the counter checking her email. She looked up and thought he seemed a little nervous. She smiled at him. "Hey, Dad," she said.

He took a few steps in and put his hands in his pockets. "Hey, Maddie," he said.

She walked out from behind the counter, feeling a little anxious. "It's just us here," she said, somewhat unnecessarily. "Can we talk?"

He raised his eyebrows and then nodded. "Yeah. Sure."

She walked over to the den and sat on the loveseat. She was a little disappointed when he sat in the club chair, but she pushed that aside. She took a deep breath and ran her tongue over her lips. "I think we should talk about what happened," she said finally. "I just hate how weird things are right now."

He sat forward then, resting his arms on his legs and looked at her. "I hate it too," he said.

She looked at him for a minute, trying to decide how to begin. "I want to say, again, that I'm sorry about how things went," she said finally. "Everything felt out of balance and I know Cash took advantage of that and I'm sorry, 'cause I know it hurt you and Mom and Daphne." He nodded, not taking his eyes off her. "I guess there really were two separate parts to it. One was that I really wanted to be an artist and I really felt like you and Mom were keeping me from doing that. Mom mostly, because she kept turning down deals for me. I just really wanted to perform and I'd wanted to do that for so long." She felt like crying then and she didn't want to, so she stopped and took a few deep breaths. "I really don't think I would have tried to get emancipated if Cash hadn't suggested it," she went on.

He shook his head then. "I knew she was the one doing that," he said angrily.

She nodded. "She did. She told me she wished she had done that and that it was the only way I'd be able to make my own dreams happen. That I was the only one who could be in charge of my career. She was the one who kept telling me that Mom was holding me back and trying to control me, and she told me Mom threatened to ruin her."

He frowned. "Maddie, the only thing your mama wanted to do was protect you. She knew Cash didn't have your best interests at heart." Maddie could see tears in his eyes and he stopped to take a deep breath. "Your mama would never hold you back. All we ever wanted to help you."

Maddie started to cry now. "I know that now," she said and then she stopped and wiped her eyes. "I wish I hadn't listened to Cash."

Deacon rubbed his face. "I wish you hadn't either." He looked at her, his eyes filled with pain and sadness. "You know I would never, ever hurt you, don't you?"

She nodded, tears spilling down again. "I do." She swallowed hard. "They told me I needed to say that, that it was the only way the judge would let me go." She watched him as he looked away and hated how much she'd hurt him by lying. "And I hated all the things she asked you." She sighed. "Was your life really that bad?"

He clasped his hands in front of him and looked down. "Worse," he said quietly.

As she considered that, she thought about the fact that in spite of whatever it was in his life that was so awful, her mom loved him, believed in him, wanted him in her life. She realized her mom would never have put her and Daphne in a dangerous spot, not even for love. But she wanted to know more about this man, needed to know more. "Will you…will you tell me what it was like? Before you met Mom?" she asked, hesitantly.

He looked up at her and she saw a lifetime of pain in his eyes. "I don't know why you'd wanna know, Maddie," he said. "I don't know if I need you to know. It ain't pretty. Nowhere near as pretty as growing up in Belle Meade."

She breathed out. "But I'm part of you, Dad. And I didn't get to grow up with you, so I want to understand. I want to know about the part of me that isn't Mom."

He sighed. "Maddie, I think you're lucky you grew up with the parents you had. You ain't been touched by the crap I went through and it don't have to touch you now. It's probably best to leave it lie."

"Please, Dad. I really do want to know," she said.

It took him a few minutes before he finally started talking. As she listened, she alternated between sadness and anger – for him – as well as pain for the pain he'd lived through. She thought he'd probably not gone as deep as he could have, but she was okay with that. He talked about growing up with an alcoholic father, one who never learned to stop and never wanted to. About how scared they all were whenever he would come home drunk, unsure how things would be. He told her that his father often told him he would grow up to be the same as him and he was ashamed that it had turned out to be true.

He told her how his mother tried to protect him and Beverly, but she was no match for his father. And that eventually her own illness had locked her away in her own world, unable to take care of herself, much less her children.

He talked about how music had been an escape for him, and for Beverly too. He'd saved up enough money to buy a cheap guitar and he'd taught himself to play. Then he'd started writing songs. He'd told her they weren't very good in the beginning, but he kept at it and he and Beverly started performing together. That's when he knew music would be his way out of Natchez, Mississippi and would be his ticket to a better life. He had been determined he wouldn't fulfill his father's prophecy for him, that he wouldn't throw his own life away the way his parents had.

It had taken a while for that better life to happen. Beverly had changed her mind about going to Nashville with him. Staying in Natchez had ultimately caused her a similar kind of pain to their mother's and put a wedge between the two of them. But moving to Nashville had changed everything for him.

"What changed?" she asked.

The pain in his eyes faded a little and a softness replaced it. He hadn't looked at her the entire time he'd recited the sad litany of his life, but now he did. "I met your mama," he said. "And the minute I saw her I knew my life was gonna be different. I knew she was the one. She lifted me up, out of the hell I was living in, and gave me hope." He bit his lip. "She saved me."

Maddie felt a lump in her throat. It had been painful, listening to his story, hearing how hopeless he'd felt before he'd met her mother. She sat forward. "Dad, I…" she started.

He stood up, running a hand over his mouth. He took a couple of deep, shuddering breaths and then closed his eyes. "I gotta stop," he said. "I need some time. I'm sorry." He breathed out and bit his lip. Then he turned and walked swiftly out of the room, leaving Maddie watching him go.


	10. Chapter 10

Deacon paced back and forth in the music room after he'd left Maddie. It had been a really long time since he'd talked to anyone about his family, about how he grew up, about any of the emotions he had around that whole part of his life. The people most present in it were all gone now.

His father had died in a drunk driving accident back when he was in rehab the second time. Rayna had told him when she came to visit and had asked if he wanted to go to the funeral. She'd checked with the facility and they had told her he could have a special pass for that. He remembered being angry at her for even suggesting it. They had fought bitterly, her trying to persuade him he would want that closure and him swearing he didn't need it.

There were certainly times when he'd wondered if that kind of closure would have been helpful. If seeing his father put in the ground would have made it more real. Would have given him his own closure on the haunting legacy his father left behind. But most times he believed it wouldn't have made a difference. He had already been too far down the same journey his father had taken and, at that point, it would take him five more years, and three more times in rehab, to figure out how to stop the cycle.

His mother had died just a year later, of a stroke. He had gone that time, alone because Rayna was in the middle of a tour, and had ended up on a three-day drunk. Rayna had been out of her mind when he hadn't returned and frantically searched for him herself before finding him passed out in a flea bag motel along the Mississippi coast. That had resulted in his third trip to rehab.

And, of course, Beverly had died giving him her liver.

Beverly had been the last person he'd talked about any of the past with, back when Scarlett had her breakdown, and all that had been was a shouting match of anger and blame and recriminations. He sat on the couch and put his head in his hands. It had been bad enough that Scarlett had had to grow up dealing with that legacy. He didn't want to put it on Maddie, no matter what the reason.

 _Rayna was wrong. This ain't gonna heal us. All this does is prove to Maddie I'm exactly what she thought I was._

"Dad?" Maddie's voice at the door startled him. He turned to face her. She looked worried, concerned. "Are you okay?" she asked. "You never came back."

He didn't want to do this. He wasn't ready to do this. He had a sudden memory of how he'd tried desperately to avoid her when he'd found out he had cancer. He hadn't wanted to disappoint her with the thought he might not be around for her. It felt ironic that he had survived after all, only to disappoint her anyway.

He breathed in and looked towards the ceiling, then off to the side. "I'm sorry," he said. "I just needed some breathing room, you know?" He looked at her. "I ain't talked about any of that in a very long time."

She looked at him. He couldn't decide if he saw pity or shame or disgust in her eyes, and he looked away again. "I'm glad you did though," she said. "I'm sorry you had that kind of life."

 _Pity. That was what she saw._ He could feel the pit in his stomach and he breathed in deeply. "Well, I'm done talking about that. Ain't nothing left to tell. Ain't nothing worth telling," he said, a little more brusquely than he'd meant to.

She nodded. "Okay." She fidgeted with her hands, looking like she was trying to get up her courage. "How come it took you so many times in rehab to get sober?" she asked finally, all in a rush. "What made it work the last time?"

He felt like he'd been kicked in the gut. _How in the hell were you supposed to talk to your child about being an alcoholic?_ "Maddie, I don't understand why I gotta tell you all this stuff. What difference does it make? How does it help?"

There were tears in her eyes. "It helps me get you," she said. "There's so much I don't know and that I want to know. _Need_ to know."

"This? You don't _need_ to know this." He shook his head and turned away.

There was a long silence and then she said, "But it was why you lost Mom. And why I didn't get the chance to grow up as your daughter."

He stood with his hands on his hips, breathing in and out, trying to tamp down the anger he was feeling. This was the stuff he and Rayna were still dealing with and he wasn't prepared to talk to his daughter about it when he still had unresolved issues about it with his wife. He started to speak, then stopped. He wanted to be careful what he said. He lifted one hand and motioned at her. "This is stuff I ain't ready to talk about with you," he said, trying to keep his voice even. "This is what _I_ still gotta figure out," he went on, poking himself in the chest. "It's what's hardest for me to live with, Maddie, and I ain't sure I can _ever_ talk about it with you." He glanced wildly around the room. Maddie seemed to have pulled into herself a bit, her eyes teary as she watched him. He swallowed hard, trying to maintain control. He raised his eyebrows. "Look, I gotta go get Daphne, okay?" He started around the couch. "I gotta go."

"Dad, please," he heard her plead, as he rushed past her out the door. He'd thought talking about his past was hard, but having to tell her why he wasn't able to be her father, that was something he didn't fully know the answer to himself. And acknowledging that to himself made him realize he didn't have answers for her either.

* * *

He was early. Way early. He sat in his truck, feeling wave after wave of emotions crash over him. He focused on breathing, trying to calm himself before Daphne got in the truck. That one was way too intuitive for her own good and he knew he wouldn't be able to hide anything from her. He decided to call Rayna and let her know what had happened, in case she talked to Maddie. But when he called, he got voice mail. He hesitated for a moment, then said, "Hey, baby. Just wanted to let you know Maddie and I talked some today. I, uh, I don't know if it went real well. I don't know if I was ready for what she wanted to know. I'm sorry."

He sat back against the seat and considered Maddie's question. _How come it took you so many times in rehab to get sober?_ He had wondered that himself, over all the years that took. It wasn't that he didn't have support – Rayna was always right there. She always encouraged him, supported him. So why couldn't he make it work all those years? What he'd figured out – finally – was that it was because she was always there. Didn't make sense, really, but every time he failed, she'd be disappointed, but she'd still be right there, encouraging him, supporting him, never giving up. He hadn't wanted to disappoint her, but he also had known she wouldn't give up on him.

But then she did. _Four times in rehab is ridiculous._ That's what she'd told him before she walked away from him. _I can't keep doing this with you, Deacon. God help me, I love you, but I can't live like this. I can't live my whole life wondering where you are and if you're alive. I can't deal with your unreliability and the damage you could do to my career. I've tried and tried and tried to help you, but you can't commit to this. And I can't watch you kill yourself. Because this_ _will_ _kill you, Deacon. If you don't figure this out, your drinking is gonna kill you._ And then she left.

It had still taken one more time before he could do it. After he'd lost her. After she'd gone and married Teddy Conrad and had Maddie. If he'd said it once, he'd said it a thousand times in the years since then. _I lost everything that ever mattered to me. I lost the only woman I ever loved._ He'd lost Maddie too, he just hadn't known it then. He shook his head. She was right. _…I didn't get the chance to grow up as your daughter._

His phone buzzed and he picked it up. It was the Bluebird. "Hello?"

"Hey, Deacon, it's Daria." Daria was the booking manager at the Bluebird.

He smiled. "Hey, Daria, what's up?"

"We had a late cancellation for tonight and I hate to ask at the last minute…."

"I'll do it," he said, before she finished.

"Really? It's the early show."

"Not a problem. I'll be there." He breathed out. "Thanks, Daria." After he hung up, he knew he should have checked with Rayna first, but he needed some space. He was afraid when he got back home Maddie would be waiting, and this gave him an excuse to be out of the house. He was avoiding things, just the way Rayna always said he did. He acknowledged it to himself. But he still needed some time.

He was jotting down a set list when the passenger door opened and Daphne hopped in. "Hey," she said, with a smile, dropping her book bag on the floor and fastening her seat belt.

He smiled back, sticking the list in the console. "Hey. How was school?"

She nodded. "Pretty good." He started the truck and pulled out of the school drive. He wasn't paying attention to Daphne, although he could hear her voice as she chattered about her day. He kept thinking about Maddie asking him about all those stays in rehab. "Deacon!" He was startled back to the present and looked over at Daphne, who was frowning. "Are you okay?"

He nodded. "Yeah, baby, I'm good."

She looked unconvinced. "Are you sure? 'Cause I don't think you're listening to me at all."

He took a deep breath and then smiled at her. "Oh, I'm sorry, sweetie, I guess I just got a lot on my mind. Lot to think about," he said.

"Is it Maddie?" she asked, looking at him carefully.

He frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Is Maddie what you're thinking about?" She paused. "Are you and Maddie ever gonna make up?"

He raised his eyebrows. "What?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not a little kid, you know. I can see you're not talking to each other. You walk away from her, she doesn't know what to say to you. Can't you just be glad she's home?"

"I _am_ glad she's home, Daphne. That was the whole point of going to get her in New York."

"But you don't seem happy that she's back. Mom's happy. I'm happy. But you're not."

He wasn't quite sure what to say. He wasn't even completely sure how he felt. He was glad Maddie was home, that she was away from Cash and whatever she had planned for Maddie. But it was complicated. He messed things up so badly and he needed to figure out what to do about it. He sighed. "It ain't that I'm _un_ happy, Daphne. I promise," he said.

"Do you still love her?" Daphne's voice seemed small as she asked that.

He frowned. "'Course I do," he said. "It ain't that I don't love her. I guess, I don't know, I guess we just need to take a minute."

She sighed. "Okay." She looked at him. "Don't take too long though."

 _ **####**_

Rayna was irritated that Deacon had agreed to do the set at the Bluebird that night without asking her. She felt like he was running away from his problems again, the way he often did. But she decided to let it go and use the opportunity as a chance to talk some more to Maddie. Deacon had told her that Maddie had brought up his drinking and that he'd been uncomfortable talking to her about it. She thought it might be easier for her to explain.

"You can ask me anything, sweet girl," she said to Maddie. "You know that."

Maddie considered that for a moment. "Why did it take him so many times? To get sober, I mean?" she asked, the same question she'd asked him.

Rayna shrugged. "That's a hard question to answer, Maddie," she said. "When you're not an alcoholic you don't know what someone is wrestling with. Deacon had a really tough life, as you heard, and not good role models. He didn't want that to be his life and he struggled to stay sober. I need you to know that. He _wanted_ to be better." She smiled encouragingly. "And he did finally figure it out. And he's been sober for a very long time."

Maddie nodded. "Why did you stay with him, all those years?"

"Because I loved him," Rayna said, with a sigh. "And I believed in him. And because I thought it was important for him to know I supported him."

"But you did break up with him."

Rayna nodded. "That's true. I did."

Maddie breathed out. "Why?"

"Well, because I couldn't help him anymore. And because I thought I needed to let him go, so he'd really focus on getting better. Which he did."

Maddie looked down for a moment, then back at her mother. "Did you not love him anymore?" she asked.

Rayna shook her head. "That didn't have anything to do with it," she said, sadly. "I've always loved Deacon. But it was a really hard life, Maddie. It wasn't a decision I made lightly though."

Maddie rubbed her hands together. "So why didn't you ever tell him about me?"

Rayna felt her breath catch in her throat. "Oh, baby girl, that's so complicated," she said.

"Make it uncomplicated," Maddie replied, her eyes narrowed.

Rayna took a deep breath and looked away. She had to think about the best way to word this. Finally she looked back at her daughter. "Maddie, I was pregnant and your father was still drinking. Up to that point, he hadn't demonstrated he could make it stick. I was scared and Teddy offered what I thought was a good solution. He would marry me and be a father to you. Give us a safe place. And he was a great father. He loved you the same as if you'd been his own flesh and blood."

Maddie's face was unreadable. "You didn't really answer my question. Why didn't you tell him after he got sober? When I was a little older?"

Rayna's heart ached. "I didn't want to blow up your life. It was such a tough call."

Maddie looked angry then. "But it _did_ blow up my life."

Rayna nodded. "I know…."

"And Deacon's. You know, I just feel like, if I could have grown up with him as my father, things would have been different."

"We don't know that," Rayna said.

Maddie looked like she wanted to cry. "Why didn't you just tell him when you found out you were pregnant? Maybe he would have figured it out then."

Rayna reached for Maddie's hands. "I did think about that," she said. "And maybe he would have. But what if he didn't? I didn't feel like I could take that chance. Not with a baby in the mix."

Maddie bit her lip. "Do you ever feel bad about what you did? Like it was wrong?"

Rayna felt tears building up. "There's not an easy answer to that, Maddie. I did what I thought was best for you." She breathed in. "Do I feel bad about it? Of course I do. I hurt you and I hurt Deacon and I never meant for that to happen. I guess the truth is, sometimes I do wish I'd done things differently. I wish the two of you had had more time to be a father and a daughter. I thought about that a lot when your father was sick. If I'd done the wrong thing all those years ago." She sighed and squeezed Maddie's hands. "But I did everything to protect you and I'm not going to say I'm sorry for that. You were the most important person in my life then and I had to do whatever I needed to do to make sure you were safe. I hope you understand that."

Maddie sighed. "I guess. But I just feel like I missed so much." She looked away. "It's just so hard to have everything you know turn out to not be true." She looked back at her mother. "I think it just would have been better if I'd known and gotten to grow up with him." She sighed, then pulled her hands from Rayna's. "I think I need some alone time." She got up and walked to the stairs and up to her room, leaving Rayna sitting on the couch, tears rolling down her face.

 _ **####**_

In all the sessions they'd had with Dr. Voris, Deacon and Rayna had never sat right next to each other, or held hands, or even touched each other. Deacon didn't know why that was, exactly, but it seemed like they needed the separateness. They both sat on the same couch and often either faced each other or were turned towards each other rather than away. He didn't think about those things often, but this time he did.

They were talking about themselves in the context of their family. How Maddie fit back in, Daphne's place, and the role Deacon and Rayna played as parents. "Are you starting to rebuild that connection with your daughter, Deacon?" Dr. Voris asked.

He shrugged and then sat back. "I don't know. We done a little talking, but I don't know. She wanted to know about my past, about my growing up, but I don't know how that helps anything. It's a dark past and I was a dark person then. It don't feel like the story of a dad she can feel proud of." He frowned.

Rayna leaned forward. "Doesn't it help, though, talking it through with her? I know it helps her to understand you better."

He looked at her and shook his head. "You know what it feels like, Rayna? It feels like all I'm doing is taking all the responsibility for everything all over again. I'm having to tell our daughter about all my mistakes. And I'm not the only one who made mistakes. You made mistakes. It ain't all on me." He looked away then, staring at his hands, rubbing his legs.

She reached out then and put her hand on his arm, causing him to stop and look at her. "Babe, it's _not_ all on you," she said. "I know you feel like it's all on you and I realize I've probably let you take that on. I certainly blamed you for why I felt like I had to marry Teddy, for why we couldn't be together, for the accident. But I realize now that I need to be accountable too."

He looked away, rubbing a hand over his face. She swallowed hard, running her tongue over her lips. "I think you take the blame because it makes it easier," she said. "It's your nature to think life doesn't owe you a fair hand or a happy life, so you just take it on yourself. And I let you and that was wrong. I made decisions and I took actions and those are mine. And I think it doesn't really matter why they happened. There's no need to blame. Maybe we just acknowledge and figure out how to fix things."

Dr. Voris nodded. "Rayna's right," he said. "Blame keeps you from working together, even when it's yourself you blame."

Deacon looked at Rayna. She smiled at him encouragingly. "Let's try," she said.

He took a deep breath and then he reached for her hand. He nodded, his eyes filled with emotion. "Okay," he said.


	11. Chapter 11

_**Thanks to all of you who are reading, those who favorite and follow this story, and especially to those who take some time to leave a review. I love to hear what you think or ideas you have or what you thinks works/doesn't work. Much appreciated!**_

Deacon walked up to the music room with one of his old vintage guitars. He'd picked it up over at his old house, where Scarlett was living now, so he could display it here. As he approached the open doors, he heard guitar chords and then he heard Maddie's voice.

 _The shadows of regret / The ghost of things we said / They've got me dead to right / And I can't sleep tonight_

 _So here I am again / Another one that I can't win / Well it's too late now to fight / And I can't sleep tonight_

He recognized it as the first song he and Maddie had worked on together. It was early in their father-daughter relationship, when they were starting to develop that bond over root beers, guitar lessons, and a shared love of music. As awkward and stilted as those times could be, in the beginning, they were one of the best things about his life then, as he'd gotten to know a girl he'd known her whole life in a totally different way.

 _Love and loss and toss and turn / Light or burn, then watch the burn / I don't know who's wrong or right…._

He'd considered turning back, but something made him walk to the door. She looked up and saw him, stopping her singing. She smiled shyly. "Hey, Dad."

He walked in, a little haltingly, and set the guitar in one of the many guitar stands in the room. He stood for a moment, his hands in his pockets, and then he walked over to the couch and sat down. "That's a pretty old song," he said.

She nodded. "Yeah," she said. "It was the first song we wrote together." She propped her guitar against the arm of her chair.

He shook his head. "As I recall, _you_ wrote it. I just gave you a couple ideas."

She looked thoughtful. "You really taught me a lot about writing." She nodded towards her guitar. "And playing the guitar."

He gave her a half-smile. "It was in your blood."

"From you."

He raised his eyebrows. "And from your mama."

"I guess," she said softly. She sighed. "When did you and Mom decide to write together?"

He considered that for a moment. "Oh, wow, I don't know. I don't think we actually had any kinda conversation like 'let's write together', it just sorta happened. She was always better at lyrics than the melody. I think maybe she was working on something and she showed it to me and it just sorta came together."

"Was everything you wrote together personal?"

He nodded. "Mostly. Well, up to a point." He breathed in, thinking about how things changed after she married Teddy. They didn't write together much then and, when they did, the songs had a different tone to them. "It all came from a real place."

Maddie smiled dreamily. "My favorite song y'all wrote was 'No One Will Ever Love You'. It's just the best."

He smiled. "It's one of my favorites too. Your mama wrote most of it and then I finished it off."

She looked at him curiously. "Do you wish Mom had told you about me sooner?" she asked.

He frowned. "Maddie…."

"I'm serious, Dad. I just wish we'd had more time, you know?"

He felt a lump in his throat. "I was with you your whole life," he said, his voice a little hoarse, repeating the rationale Rayna always used.

She shook her head. "It wasn't the same," she said, and he could hear himself saying those same words to Rayna after they'd all gone on GMA – him, Rayna, and Teddy – to talk about Maddie, after it had come out that he was her biological father. "And it wasn't fair."

He breathed in. "You know, a lotta things could've been different, but they weren't," he said. "I think we could spend a lot of time being mad about it or we could just accept what we were given. I know it feels unfair, but we can't change it."

She looked down at her hands and nodded. When she looked back at him, her eyes were filled with sadness. "I miss writing with you," she said.

He caught his breath. He hadn't expected that. He didn't know what to say.

"Everything you wrote was your truth, wasn't it?" she asked then. He nodded. "I remember you told me it was three chords and the truth. Good advice."

He took a deep breath. "Was what you wrote with Cash your truth, Maddie?" he asked, challenging her a little.

She made a face and half-shrugged. "I guess. At the time it felt like my truth. Or maybe it was just what she pulled out of me."

He frowned. "Well, if that's your truth, you should really think long and hard about whether you really want it to be. People know us by what we say, whether it's a song we write or a speech we make. Be sure yours is the one you wanna be known by." He stood up then. "Just think about it." He ran a hand over the back of his neck as he glanced around the room at the many album covers and awards and other memorabilia of Rayna's, that he had added to since he'd moved in. _This is all truth._ He hoped Maddie learned from that.

Without another word, he turned and walked out of the room.

 _ **####**_

Juliette watched as Emily carried Cadence out of the room. Deacon had been watching as well and then he turned back to her, a smile on his face. "She's grown up a lot since the last time I saw her," he said.

Juliette smiled back. "I guess she was a baby then, huh?" she said. Then she laughed. "I mean, a _tiny_ baby." She sighed. "I can't believe she's gonna be a year old before long." She bit her lip. "I missed a lot, but I'm so glad to have the chance to see the rest." She watched as he sat in the chair opposite her, a shadow crossing his face for a moment. "I'm sorry," she said, a contrite look on her face. "I guess you missed more than I did."

He breathed in and nodded. "Yeah, I guess." He shrugged. "Rayna always says I was with her all the time, which is true, but it ain't the same."

She looked at him with concern. Maddie had told her things were still tenuous and awkward and she'd heard the sadness in the girl's voice whenever she talked about Deacon. "So how are things going? With Maddie?" she asked.

He raised his eyebrows. "Oh, you know. She's all up in arms right now about the set list for her record. I'm sure she's told you. The shadow of Cash Gray is still there." He sounded angry and bitter.

"Yeah, I guess so." She sighed. "She'll learn, though. Like I did. I sang that same kind of naughty stuff back when I was starting out." She winked at him. "But then I met someone who challenged me to think differently about songwriting."

He frowned. "I don't want her getting mixed up with someone more than twice her age. We already done that with Vince Pierce." He practically spat out the producer's name.

She laughed. "I didn't mean it had to go exactly the same way," she said. "But, you know, she has the exact same person to influence her that I did." She nodded towards him. "You."

He breathed out. "She said she missed writing with me. But I ain't ready for that. It's still too, I don't know, raw or something."

She nodded. "I get it. But you're talking, right? Working through it all?"

He shook his head. "I don't know. I mean, I want to. I know I'm _supposed_ to want to. Rayna, well, she's so glad Maddie's back it's like she don't really care about what happened anymore." He cleared his throat. "Actually, it ain't that she don't care, but she just wants to sort of forget that it happened. Just move on." His eyes looked haunted as he looked at her. "I just ain't been able to do that."

She frowned. "What are you afraid of?" she asked.

He let out a short laugh and shook his head. "You know, I never thought about being a dad. At least not after Rayna and I were done. I was pretty sure I wasn't cut out to be one. When I first found out Maddie was mine, I was afraid to try. And she didn't really want any part of me then. And Rayna didn't want me to be a dad to her. I figured I just wasn't made that way and that maybe we'd just leave it be. And turns out we were probably all right about that."

She shook her head vehemently. "I don't understand why you think that. You've been a great dad. You _love_ Maddie."

He looked down at his hands and shrugged. "I guess that ain't enough. I had no good role model for being a dad. All the stuff they brought up in the courtroom, that just proves I got no business being anyone's dad. All Maddie's seen is more of the bad side, just like my own father. She was better off with Teddy."

"That's just crazy, Deacon," she said heatedly. "I mean, I understand. You more'n anyone knows about _my_ role model for being a parent. I never wanted to be the kind of mama I had, but I was. But you haven't been that kind of dad. All those things you told me – most of 'em were a long time ago and didn't impact Maddie at all. Everything else was you protecting her. You're such a good man, Deacon, with a good heart. Loyal. Please don't say you're not a good dad."

He looked at her. "But she didn't think so. And Rayna probably wonders if I can be."

She bit her lip. "Have you talked to Rayna about this?"

He looked away. "Not exactly."

"Well, that's who you should be talking to. And then the two of you should talk to Maddie. Let her know you're a united front. That you love her and support her and will always be there for her." She leaned forward and he looked back at her. "Don't wait too long."

 _ **####**_

Maddie was in her closet picking out clothes for New York. When she walked back out to put them in her suitcase, Daphne was sitting on her bed. "Hey, Daph," she said, with a smile.

Daphne frowned. "Why do you have to go to New York?" she asked.

Maddie laid the clothes on the bed and started to fold them, adding them to her suitcase. "You know why. That's where I'm recording my album," she said.

"I want to go."

Maddie stopped and looked at her. "You can't. You have school and stuff." She picked up a blouse and added it to the suitcase. "And I'll be back in a couple weeks."

Daphne scowled. "It's three and a half weeks, not a couple weeks." She flung herself back against the pillow. "Why do you have to be gone so long?"

Maddie tried not to get annoyed. "That's just what it takes, Daph," she said.

"So what about Highway 65?"

Maddie felt a knot in her stomach. She still had mixed feelings about all of this. She hated hurting her sister, but at the same time, she really did want to move forward with her own career, on her own terms. It had caused such upheaval, though, and that part always made her feel mixed up. She looked at her sister and sighed. "Daphne, my contract with Highway 65 was voided," she said.

Daphne made a face. "What does that mean?" she asked.

"It means that I don't work for Highway 65 anymore. I work for Lennox Hill. I'll be making my album for Lennox Hill."

Daphne looked both surprised and hurt. "So what about me?"

Maddie shrugged. "I don't know, Daphne. You probably need to ask Mom."

"So we don't have a contract together anymore?"

Maddie shook her head. "No." She sat on the bed. "Daphne, I'm sorry, but I really wanted to go out on my own. A couple of labels wanted to sign me after I performed with Juliette and I really want to do that. But we can still sing together at home."

Daphne scowled at her sister and shook her head vehemently. "I don't want to just sing together at home, Maddie!" she shouted. "I want to be able to sing with you at the Bluebird and the Opry and places like that. Make records together. Just like we used to. Like we planned."

"I don't think we can do that anymore, Daphne. I don't think my label will let me do that." She watched as Daphne took that in, tears filling up her eyes. She reached across the bed, trying to grab her sister's hand, but Daphne pulled away and jumped off the bed. "Daphne, please," she begged.

Daphne headed for the door and was running out just as Rayna walked through the door. She pushed against her mom as she ran past, wailing, "It's not fair!"

Rayna looked first at Maddie in surprise, then turned back towards the hall. "Daphne? What's going on? Daphne?" She turned back then to Maddie. "What's going on?" she asked again, looking confused.

Maddie took a deep breath and looked away. "I think she's upset that I'm leaving," she murmured.

Rayna frowned and walked over to the bed, sitting opposite Maddie. "What happened to upset her?" she asked.

Maddie glared at her. "What I just said. I'm leaving."

Rayna shook her head. "I don't believe it's just that," she said. "What were you two talking about?"

Maddie sighed and rolled her eyes, then sat down on the bed. "She's mad because I want to be a solo artist," she said quietly.

"That's what you told her?" She raised her eyebrows and gave Maddie a sharp look.

"Sort of. She wants us to sing together again." She turned to face her mom. "Mom, I _love_ singing with her. I do! But right now, I want to see what it's like to be on my own. Be a solo artist. You understand that, right?"

Rayna breathed out. Maddie thought she looked disappointed. "I _do_ understand, Maddie," she said finally. "But all of this has been hard for your sister. And I understand how she feels too." She smiled, a little sadly. "I was the little sister once. Watching _my_ older sister leave me behind. There had been so much turmoil in our lives too and I needed her."

Maddie sighed. "So, am I supposed to give up my dreams because it hurts her feelings? Is that what Aunt Tandy did?"

Rayna shook her head. "No, just remember." She reached across the bed for Maddie's hand. "This has been hard for all of us, you know. I watched you turn away from me, reject everything I had ever tried to do for you. All I wanted was to protect you, Maddie. It's what I've done your entire life."

"You can't do that forever, Mom. I'm growing up. You have to let me fly on my own."

"I know." Rayna nodded and smiled just a little. "I think that's what I'm learning from all this. I'm your mama, though, and I'll always want to protect you and keep you from harm. I don't want bad things to happen to you and I want to smooth the way. But I'm realizing that I'm not always gonna be able to do that for you." She sighed. "I need to let you make your own way. Make your mistakes and learn from them. _I_ did. Just remember, though, that I'm here if you need me. I won't ever abandon you."

Maddie looked at her carefully then. "Is that what PawPaw did? He abandoned you?" She was surprised to see tears in her mom's eyes then.

"Kind of. He told me that if I pursued my dream of being a country music artist that he wouldn't support me. And he didn't. At least not then and not so that I really knew he did. He wanted different things for me and he thought he knew better. But I was stubborn." She laughed a little then. "Just like he was. _And_ like a certain sixteen year old I know." Maddie smiled then too. "I guess that's part of it, Maddie. I see so much of myself in you and I just want to spare you the struggles I went through. But you probably need to go through them, just like I did."

Maddie squeezed her mom's hand. "I promise that if I don't know something or get in over my head, I'll ask you for help."

Rayna slid over and hugged Maddie. "That's all I can ask for, I guess." Then she laughed. "Well, one more thing. You can still sing with your sister and I hope you will."

Maddie nodded. "I will."

Rayna moved to get up from the bed. "I guess I should let you get finished. I know Glenn will be here for you soon." She walked over to the door and then turned back, a serious look on her face. "One more thing. Be patient with your father. He's working through this his own way. I know he wants to make things right."

Maddie felt her emotions surge to the surface. "I want that so bad," she whispered.

 _ **####**_

When Deacon walked in the back door, Rayna looked up from the book she was reading. She smiled. "Hey, babe," she said.

He made his way over to the couch and sat down beside her. She put her book down and sat forward, leaning in for his kiss. "Hey," he said with a smile. He looked around the room. "Everybody gone?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Maddie left earlier for New York and Daphne's got a sleepover with Simone. So it's just us." She winked. He smiled but didn't say anything. "Where've you been?"

He shrugged. "I went to a meeting. Then I just went down on First Street. Looking at some stuff."

She looked at him questioningly. "What kind of stuff?"

He breathed out. "I gotta do something, baby. The Beverly's gone." He shook his head and let out a sharp laugh. "I walked by there and it's all back to what it used to be."

She grabbed his hand. "Oh, babe, I'm sorry. But I wish you hadn't done that."

He looked irritated. "I hadn't planned to, it just happened," he said, his voice testy.

"But all that does is remind you of…."

He pulled his hand away. "I know, Rayna. I just ended up there," he said, his voice a mix of anger and hurt. "There was hardly nobody going in or out though, not like it was."

She had a quiver of anxiety. "You didn't go in, did you?" she asked, a little fearfully.

He frowned. "'Course not. I ain't _allowed_ to," he said sarcastically. "You know that." He took a deep breath. "But when I was standing there, I thought about how that was something I did good at. Running that place, turning it around. And I liked feeling like I had a purpose."

She took his hand back. "Babe, you still have a purpose," she said soothingly.

He raised his eyebrows. "What? Taking Daphne to school? Dropping her off at dance class or a friend's house? Waiting for you to come home?" He stood up and started pacing, rubbing his hand over the back of his neck. Then he turned to face her. "You hated it when I bought into that bar. I know that. You never were on board, not really. And it was because it wasn't what you picked for me. Not just that it was a bar or that you were worried because I'm an alcoholic owning a bar, but because _I_ decided that. But it was for _me_ , Rayna. It was something I was proud of, because _I_ did it. _I_ made it successful, I put my heart into it, even though I knew you didn't want it for me." He stopped for a moment and took a deep breath. "I really need something. I don't think I can get past all of this if I don't have something for me."

She looked up at him for a moment, then got up from the couch and walked over to him. She looked into his eyes, filled with pain and hurt and need, and then she took a step closer and put her arms around him, leaning against his chest. She'd been taken back, for a second, to a very similar conversation she'd had with Teddy, back when he wanted to run for mayor. She never wanted Deacon to feel like Teddy had, like he was just standing on the side of the stage. She tightened her arms and felt him wrap his arms around her in return. "I will support whatever you choose," she said. "I just want us to talk about it. Together."

* * *

Rayna looked up as Deacon came around to where she was sitting, on the pool deck. He handed her a glass of iced tea and then took a seat next to her, setting down his own glass. It was still warm, in the late spring evening, and he reached for her hand. She took it and smiled at him.

"You know I don't mind taking Daphne anywhere," he started.

She shook her head and shushed him. "It's okay. I knew what you were getting at." She sat up and cleared her throat. "I never really thought about the fact that you might be feeling a little at loose ends, babe. I guess I've just been so caught up in getting Maddie situated and all." She squeezed his hand and looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry. I really do want to listen to what's next for you. What you want."

He leaned towards her and kissed her. "I don't know a hundred percent yet, but here's what I was thinking." He let go of her hand and picked up the glass of tea and sipped it, then set it back down, clearing his throat. "First and foremost, I want us to make music together. The way we talked about."

She smiled and nodded. "I want to do that too," she said. "I want to write with you, be on stage with you again."

He smiled at her. "I'd like that. All of it. But, like I told you, when I was running the bar, I really felt like I was starting to kinda hit my stride. I don't know that I want to do that exactly, again, but when I was walking down on First, there's a few empty spots there and I was thinking about some kinda place like the Bluebird or the Listening Room, a place for new talent and up-and-comers, you know? A place to spotlight new artists." He grinned at her. "Like when you want to spotlight someone from Highway 65."

She grinned back at him. "You mean, I could have my own personal spotlight location? I'd get first choice?"

"You're always first choice for me, baby." He laughed. "But yeah, Highway 65 would have special privileges." He looked at her apprehensively. "What do you think?"

She reached for his hand again, feeling surprisingly overwhelmed with emotions. _Together we're wiser and we're stronger._ She threaded her fingers through his. She breathed in slowly. She looked in his eyes, seeing the anxiety there, as though he were afraid of her response. She wet her lips. "I was just thinking about what I said to you, the day we got married," she said. "'Together we're wiser and we're stronger'. Somehow, in the middle of all of this…this mess we've been going through, I think I forgot that." She looked at him earnestly. "Deacon, you're my whole world. You have been since I was sixteen years old. You've always been there and I couldn't imagine my future without you." She could see his eyes getting misty and she smiled tremulously. "When we got married, after all the struggle and uncertainty and cautiousness, I thought we'd do everything together. Make every decision, live every moment, share every high and low. I thought we'd already been tested with the worst life could give us. But it turned out I was wrong. And it felt like we lost our way a little bit. I don't ever want that to happen again. I can't do any of this without you." She swallowed. "I want you to take whatever time you need to get through whatever you need to and make whatever decisions you need to." She felt tears and wiped at her eyes with her free hand. She smiled joyously at him. "And I think your idea is terrific and I can't wait to see what you do with it." _He's mine and I'm his. Forever and always. I'm never going to forget that again._

He smiled back and then he laughed a little, raising her hand to his lips and kissing her fingers gently, his eyes filled with love and gratitude. "Maybe it can be that place where we can make some music together," he said.

She grinned. "That's what I was hoping you'd say."

 _ **Next chapter will be a lot more Deacon/Maddie-centric, now that Deacon and Rayna are on more solid ground. Stay tuned!**_


	12. Chapter 12

Deacon was standing in the kitchen when Rayna walked in. She laid her phone on top of her purse and then walked over to him. She put her hands on his waist and tilted her head back to look at him, a smile on her face. "I don't know how long we'll be, babe," she said.

He put his hands on her arms and leaned down to kiss her. "Take all the time you need," he said, with a smile. "I know Daphne's been looking forward to a date with Mom all week."

"I've actually been looking forward to it too, quite honestly," she said. She made a face. "I feel like I need to spend some good, quality time with her right now." She looked at him with a serious gaze. "Maddie will be home within the hour. You sure you'll be okay?"

He gave her a half smile. "She's my daughter. It ain't like she's somebody I don't know."

"Well, I know you've felt so distanced from her. For good reason, I'll admit," she said, tapping his chest with her finger. "I just hope having some time together will help you both. Think about what we talked about."

He moved his arms around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest, leaning his cheek on the top of her head. Maddie was coming home after almost a month in New York. He'd promised Rayna he would finally have the talk the two of them needed to have, which was why Rayna was taking Daphne for a girls' afternoon. As he felt Rayna slide her arms around him, holding him tightly, he breathed in slowly, as though to draw strength from her.

After a few minutes, she stepped back and looked up at him. "Why don't you show her what you're working on?" she said.

He raised his eyebrows. After they had discussed his desire to find something productive, something that would give him some satisfaction, he'd made the decision to buy one of the empty spaces facing the river in downtown Nashville. The seller had been motivated and he already had the keys to the place. He'd gotten the renovation plans the week before and was anxious to get started. "Maybe," he said noncommittally.

She shrugged. "I think she'd love to see it. You could talk to her about your plans for it and I think she'd really be interested in hearing all about it."

"We'll see," was all he said.

She turned towards the stairs then. "Daphne!" she called out. "We're gonna be late!"

"I'm coming!" she called out and then they heard her footsteps hurrying down the stairs. She hurried over to them and smiled. "I'm ready!"

Rayna smiled and reached out to pull her younger daughter into a side hug. "I can't wait for our girls' day," she said. "How about you?"

Deacon thought Daphne looked about as happy as he'd seen her since Maddie came home. He knew that, as glad as she'd been for her sister to come home, the changes in the relationship and their future together had been disconcerting for her. She had expected everything to be the same and, when it wasn't, it had left her feeling off balance. "I can't wait," she said, rubbing her hands together.

He smiled at the two of them. "Y'all have a good afternoon," he said.

Rayna smiled at him, then looked at Daphne. "Let's get going then," she said. Daphne ran towards the door and Rayna followed, stopping briefly to kiss him. "We'll see you later, babe," she said, laying her hand on his chest.

"Have fun," he said. Then he turned his head towards the door. "Bye, Daphne!"

"Bye, Deacon!" she shouted as she ran out the door. Rayna smiled at him again and then laughed, hurrying after her daughter.

* * *

He spread the blueprints out on the kitchen table. This was going to be a clean slate. He had a new architect, new contractors. Nothing about this space would look the same, or feel the same, as the Beverly. He was calling it Claybourne's and he glanced over at the simple, discreet lettering they'd come up with for the sign. It would blend in with the wood exterior. He'd decided to make it a listening space, so the stage was low, like at the Bluebird. The tables and chairs would be clubby and comfortable. And no pews.

Like the Bluebird, the focus would be on the music, so food and drink were simple. Rayna had turned her nose up at the basic bar fare he'd originally decided on, so he'd let her up the sophistication on the limited menu. _Simple food, well-prepared_ , she'd said. He smiled. He didn't mind giving in to her on that. This place was going to be about the music. He was excited about the venture, ready for this new direction. As he looked over the drawings, he thought about Rayna's suggestion of taking Maddie to see it.

He was ready, he thought. Ready to try to repair the damage, bridge the divide between them, see if they could get back what they'd had. His mind wandered to the conversation he and Rayna had the night before.

 _He wasn't sure how to broach the topic of fatherhood with Rayna. Ever since he'd had that conversation with Juliette, he'd known he needed to talk to his wife about it. He couldn't just talk to a friend. And because he didn't know how to start it, he just jumped right in._

 _He was sitting in bed, waiting for her to finish her nightly routine. She walked into the bedroom from the bathroom, rubbing her arms. She pulled the rubber band from her ponytail and fluffed out her hair with her fingers. Then she crawled into the bed on all fours, leaning in for a kiss. Then, with a smile, she slid under the covers and turned slightly towards him._

" _I done the best I could as a dad," he said, a knot in his stomach._

 _She looked confused. "Of course you did, babe," she said, reaching out and rubbing his arm._

 _He frowned. "But it wasn't enough."_

 _She screwed up her face. "What do you mean?"_

 _He worked his lip for a moment. "She said she was afraid of me. She told you that the day of the wedding." He choked on his words. "All that time, she was afraid."_

" _But she's living here now, babe," she said. "I think it was Cash and Frankie that…."_

 _He shook his head. "No, Rayna. This started before she ever met Cash. After Bev died. You know that." He breathed in and looked straight ahead. "What do you tell her when she asks why you never told me?"_

 _She looked down at her lap, rubbing her hands on her legs. "It wasn't because I was afraid or anything, you know that. It was your drinking, your unreliability then. Because I would never have hired you back if I thought it was more than that. Or trusted you with my girls. With Maddie. Not if I thought you would hurt anyone."_

" _But you were afraid to let me be her dad. You knew. Right from the beginning. That I wasn't dad material."_

 _She sighed deeply. "Oh, babe, it wasn't that exactly. I knew you'd love our baby. And you did. You always loved Maddie."_

 _He looked over at her. She was still looking down at her hands, fidgeting with them. Her shoulders were hunched slightly forward and she seemed a little defeated. "But you still didn't tell me about her. And when I knew, you didn't want me around her. You were afraid."_

 _She lifted her shoulders in a shrug. "I know it seemed like that. But, you know, it hadn't been that long since the accident. And I was angry, not afraid. Maybe it wasn't fair of me to assume you could handle something like that, the way you found out."_

 _He sat back against the pillow. "You had lied to me, Ray. It changed everything."_

 _She nodded, still looking down at her hands. "I know. I did lie to you. And I'm sorry for that. But it felt like I'd been right, that you could put Maddie at risk. I know that's not fair, and you have never done that, but I had almost died, Deacon. Things seemed different through that filter."_

 _He looked over at her. "Did you wish I would have left her alone?"_

 _She looked up at him then. "Honestly? Sometimes I did, at first. Not because of you, but because I didn't want her to be hurt emotionally. But, as we know, she's a very determined girl and, once she knew, that was that." She gave him a tiny smile. "And you proved you could do it."_

" _But I made mistakes…."_

 _She shook her head. "We all make mistakes. None of us are perfect. You do the best you can. And you just love 'em. That's all you can do." She raised her eyebrows. "And you did that. Don't ever think you didn't."_

 _He breathed in and gave a slight nod. "How did it feel, back then, when you made your decision?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper._

 _Her eyes got misty then. "It was terrible. I wanted to tell you. I went to tell you. And when I decided what I was going to do, I felt terrible about it. I told you that I cried every day for over a year. It was not what I wanted, but you know, that life wore me down. I wasn't afraid, but I was tired. Bone tired. I didn't think I could go one more day worrying about you." She bit her lip. "I always wondered if I'd done the right thing. As much as I felt like I had to do it to take care of Maddie, there was never a day when I didn't wonder that." Her eyes filled with anguish then. "I'm sorry I wasn't the one to tell you. I should have been and I know that."_

 _He breathed out, then nodded. He took her hand and she looked up at him. "That's all I ever wanted to hear, Ray."_

 _He could see the sadness in her eyes then. "Really?" she whispered. He nodded. She reached up with her other hand and cupped his cheek. "I'm sorry I never said it before." She swallowed. "I wish I'd been strong enough."_

He shook his head, bringing himself back to the present. He smiled a little. It had segued from a heartfelt conversation and confession from her to a night filled with passion and love. He was glad they were finally putting all the pieces back together and it was beginning to feel like it had when they'd first gotten back together, everything filled with love and wonder and happiness and the joy of being together.

And now they would have this. _Claybourne's._ A place where they would both feel comfortable, where they could focus on making music together again.

"Dad?"

He turned towards her voice. He had been so caught up in his musings he hadn't heard Maddie come in. "Hey, Maddie," he said, standing up and walking over towards the kitchen island.

She looked around. "Where's Mom? Where's Daphne?"

"They went shopping." He breathed in. "How was the trip?"

She shrugged, dropping her purse on the island, and then going to get a bottled water out of the fridge. "Okay. I really never knew how boring making an album could be. Was it like that for you?" She opened the bottle and took a sip of water, then leaned on the counter.

He shook his head. "Mm, not so much. First album I just did everything in one or two takes. It was real low budget. The EP was live, so, you know, live. But I do remember your mama being frustrated by the process."

She rolled her eyes. "It's so exhausting to have to sing the same verse over and over. No, louder this time. No, change the pitch. No, let's try different words." She made an exasperated noise. "At least when you hear it at the end, it sounds okay. I guess that's the point."

He nodded. "Did you finish?"

"No. They're going to lay down the instrumental tracks and then I'll probably have to go back and make some changes."

"You happy with it?"

She shrugged. "Mostly, I guess. I'm kind of disappointed that I'm using mostly other people's songs, but I guess most of my stuff was too country or was meant for a duet." She looked at him. "Did you and Mom always do all the writing? Before?"

He knew she meant before Teddy. After Teddy, they certainly wrote less together. "Yeah, we did," he said. "Well, after her first album. She did a lot of other people's songs too. Still does."

Maddie smiled. "So there's hope. I guess I need to start writing."

Deacon frowned. "Did you get a new producer?"

She nodded as she took a sip of water. "His name's Max," she said. "A big deal, Kaitlyn said. Not as big a deal as Vince Pierce though." She rolled her eyes. "But he's produced Taylor, so good enough, I guess."

"She give you a hard time about switching?"

She shrugged. "A little. But Glenn handled her. He said not to worry."

He shook his head. "I can't believe she'd still want you to work with that piece of crap." He looked at her, remembering how scared she'd been when he found her at Vince's place. "I'm glad you got out of that."

She nodded. "Me too," she said softly. There was an awkward silence for a moment. Then she glanced over to the table. "So, what's that?" she asked, nodding towards the plans laid out on the table.

He glanced over at the table and then back at her. "Nothing, really," he said, not knowing why he'd said that.

She looked confused. "It doesn't look like nothing," she said. She walked over and looked down at the blueprint. She looked back at him. "Are you building something?" she asked.

He stuck his hands in his pockets and breathed in. He wasn't really sure why he was so reluctant to talk to her about it. In the week that he'd had them, he and Rayna had spent every evening looking at the blueprints and pointing out one thing or another to change, commenting on the things they liked, letting themselves get excited about the possibilities. "I bought some property," he said finally. "Down on 1st."

She looked back at the plans, running her fingers over the paper. "Is this a bar?" she asked, an odd note to her voice.

He swallowed. "Nah. Um, we'll sell limited drinks and food, but it's gonna be a listening room."

She turned to face him. "You mean, like the Bluebird?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yeah, but not just for songwriters. Anyone could come and perform."

"Would you do concerts there?"

He shook his head. "Small shows, I guess. Short sets. You'd get to hear a lot of different artists."

A smile slowly broke across her face. "I love it! I think it's perfect. Would you play there?"

He shrugged. "Maybe. Sometimes. With your mama, probably."

"Are you two thinking about writing together again?" she asked, an intrigued look on her face.

"We talked about it."

"I think that's awesome, Dad." She looked back at the plans. "So when will it be open?"

He raised his eyebrows and ran his hand along the back of his neck. "Probably three months or so."

She looked back at him. "So live music every night?"

He nodded. "That's the plan. Mix of names and new talent. Spotlights. That kinda thing."

She grinned. "For Highway 65?"

He looked a little sheepish. "Yeah. But anyone really."

She looked a little wistful then. "I'm glad you're doing this." She breathed in. "What can I say to make things okay between us again?"

He was a little taken aback by the sudden change of topic and he took a second. "I don't know, Maddie," he said finally. "It's not just saying something, I think it's just a process. We gotta rebuild trust, both of us."

She bit down on her lower lip. "I trust you," she said softly.

He put his hands on his hips and breathed in deeply, then let it out slowly. "You were afraid of me. You saw a side of me I never wanted you to see." He paused for a moment. "Why didn't you talk to me about what you saw at my house?" he asked.

She wrapped her arms around her waist and looked away. "It freaked me out, Dad, to be honest. I mean, I'd seen you get angry and yell, but that was so…violent. It made me feel like I didn't know you." She looked back at him then.

He swallowed. He was reminded, in that moment, of a comment Teddy Conrad had made to him not long after he'd found out about Maddie. _Maddie is never gonna to stop watching you, Deacon, never. And she's gonna take note of every choice you make._ It was same thing, he thought, that Rayna had worried about. "I'm sorry you saw that," he said, finally. "And I'm sorry you heard all that other stuff. I never wanted you to know that kinda thing."

She sat down at the table and, after a moment, he walked over and sat across from her. "Was it all because you were an alcoholic?" she asked.

He breathed in. "It ain't all that simple. And I _am_ an alcoholic. I'll always be one." He cleared his throat. "You know that's what I grew up with. I swore I wouldn't do that, but I did. I went for a lotta years telling myself, and anyone who would listen, that it was just in my blood. But it's a choice, Maddie. I made a choice to drink and then to drink too much. I coulda chosen different and I coulda worked harder to fix it. That's on me. It cost me everything." He rubbed his face. "And I have a temper. You seen it. There were times when I let that get away from me too." He frowned then. "But I never, _never_ hurt your mama on purpose. Or you or Daphne."

She nodded solemnly. "I know."

He sat and looked at her for a minute, thinking about what he wanted to say. "Your mama stayed with me a lot longer than she probably should have. She waited for me, believed in me, for a long time. But she couldn't wait forever. And I can't blame her for that. She made a choice, just like I did. We all make choices, Maddie, and we gotta live with the consequences. And we gotta own it."

He leaned forward then. "Like you, with your emancipation. You made a choice. And you can say Cash led you down that path and told you it was the best thing to do, but somewhere along the way you coulda said no, I don't wanna do this. But you didn't. And you gotta own that."

Maddie eyes filled with tears. "So it means you'll never forgive me?" she asked.

Deacon shook his head. "No, it don't mean that. It just means it takes time to build back trust. I had to do that when I finally got sober. And I had to do it again when I lapsed. It's a journey. It's hard. It's probably harder to say, every day, I ain't gonna drink, but you hurt your mama, you hurt your sister, so not just me. We want to believe in you again, that you want to be part of our family, but it takes work." He got up from the table then and walked towards the den. Maddie's eyes followed him.

She nodded, tears rolling down her cheeks. "I know." She wiped the tears away. "I'm not going to apologize for wanting a career and wanting to perform, because I've wanted that almost my whole life. But I am sorry that all this happened. You're right, I could have not listened to Cash." She looked at him with despair on her face. "I just want to go back to how things used to be. I just want you to be my dad again."

He felt a knot in his stomach as he turned back to look at her. He was tired of reliving all of the past. Dredging up the things he just wanted to move on from. Talking to Maddie like this felt too much like the therapy sessions he and Rayna had been having and he hated having to go over the same ground again. He rubbed his hands over his face, then shoved them into his pockets. He felt pressure behind his eyes, as though he wanted to cry. This was his daughter. He wondered if it really had to be this hard. Despite her being emancipated, she was still a teenager, a child. _His_ child. He'd watched Rayna set aside the hurt and anguish of watching her daughter cut those ties and just embrace her coming home. Was his hurt and pain more than hers? He wasn't sure anymore.

He could feel the dampness in his eyes. She was still standing there, watching him, looking defeated. He cleared his throat, but his voice was still shaky. "I can't keep going over this same thing, Maddie," he said. "I just can't.


	13. Chapter 13

_**I had hoped to post this sooner, but life got in the way. Hopefully it will be worth the wait. Thanks for reading!**_

Maddie looked at him, a crestfallen look on her face. "What does that mean, then?" she asked.

Deacon rubbed his face and breathed in. This would be a big step, for both of them, but he thought it was time. He hoped it was time. "I don't want to sit around talking about none of this anymore," he said. "My experience is that we would try to pick it all apart and maybe not ever fix it, just keep going over the same thing all the time. And we'd never get anywhere, never make it completely right."

She sighed. "So that's it? We don't even try to work on it?" She sounded devastated.

He shook his head. "No, that ain't what I mean." He took a deep breath, trying to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. "I mean, we just start doing things. Stuff we used to do. Just try to get back to that and not try so hard to talk it out. If you need to ask me something, you can, but I don't want to feel like I'm in a damn therapist's office with you." He put his hands on his hips. "That make sense?"

She shrugged. "I guess."

He stepped back over to the table and tapped on the blueprints with two fingers. "Seeing as how you're interested, why don't we go drive down and I can show you the place," he said.

She looked surprised at first and then a tiny smile crossed her face. "That would be awesome," she said. "I'd love to."

 _ **####**_

They didn't talk much in the truck on the way downtown. She was okay with that. It didn't feel awkward, exactly, just like they didn't need to talk. He turned the radio on and they listened to music. Occasionally he would look over at her and she'd look back and smile shyly. He'd give her a small smile in return and then turn back to watch the road. She found herself starting to relax.

She thought about what he'd said, that they should just start doing things, like they used to. Kind of like how it had been after she'd first found out he was her dad. It had surprised her, then, how awkward and uncomfortable things had felt at first. She'd known him her whole life, had felt comfortable with him her whole life, but it was funny how finding out he was her father had changed their dynamic for a bit. It had taken her a while to process the news, to start to think of him in those terms. _My dad._ She'd rolled it around in her head for a while before she'd decided she needed more. More of him, more of a relationship.

She had always felt like she knew him. He was her mother's bandleader and her closest friend, outside of her Aunt Tandy. He was a serious man, except when he was around her and Daphne. Then he laughed and joked and sang songs with them. He'd let her play around on his guitars, although she realized later he'd probably done it with his heart in his throat. He had some seriously good guitars. He'd always made her feel special and she had loved him fiercely.

She often wondered what had gone through his mind when her mother had confirmed that he was her father. She knew he'd gotten drunk, knew he'd been in that car with her mother when she'd almost died. She had never known, before then, that he was an alcoholic, and that had also been something she'd had to wrap her mind around. Her mom was always saying things were complicated between the two of them and, thinking on it, she had to admit that was true.

She stole a glance at him and thought about how their relationship had changed. It had started with their shared love of music, but, over time, he'd started to fill in for her other dad. He started giving her life lessons, in addition to guitar lessons, but always with a huge dose of love. He was fiercely protective of her and that had given her a warm feeling inside. When she'd followed him to his house that night, though, she'd seen a side of him that had confused her, shocked her, scared her. She knew she should have talked to someone about it. But she'd kept it inside and tried to distance herself from him.

She looked out the window as they headed down Broadway. He was a complicated man, but he had loved her unconditionally. And she had thrown it all back in his face. She felt a knot in her stomach and could feel the pressure of tears behind her eyes. All he had ever done was love her. She hoped he was right, that what they needed was to just start to live their lives again. She knew he was the one who needed to be convinced and she promised herself then that she would make sure he was.

* * *

When they got to the building, she waited while he unlocked the door, then he let her walk in first. She walked to the center of the large space. It was filled with construction equipment, wood planks, and covered in dust. The windows that lined the front of the space were lined with construction paper so that, even when he turned on the lights, it was dim in the room.

He walked her around then, pointing out where the stage would be, where the tables and chairs would be set up. He showed her the space for the small bar and the outline for where the walls would go up for the kitchen, restrooms, and a few offices. "This was a retail space before," he explained, as they walked. "We ended up knocking down all the walls and we reworked it all."

She smiled. "Where will the stage be?" she asked.

He pointed towards the wall on the left side of the windows. "Over there. It'll be three steps up." He turned to spread his arm around in front of the stage area. "Tables and chairs here. We'll have two tops, four tops, and eight tops. The stage will be big enough for a single act or an in the round."

"So cool," she said. "And bar food?"

He smiled sheepishly. "That's what I planned, but your mama had other ideas," he said. She raised her eyebrows. "Beer, house wine, and basic mixed drinks. And then food that ain't fried." He smirked. "Sandwiches, cold plates, salads, charcuterie."

She laughed. "How did you learn to pronounce that?" she teased.

He smiled. "Your mama made me say it probably a hundred times til I got it right. Now she makes me say it every day so I don't forget." He shoved his hands in his pockets and rocked on his heels. "She did all the food and drink stuff. I ain't much on that. I focus on the music part."

She looked around again. "This is really amazing, Dad," she said softly. She looked at him a little shyly. "Maybe you'll even let me play here one day," she said softly.

He gave her a small smile, but didn't respond. She wasn't sure what to make of that and she felt like she wanted to cry, so she turned away from him and walked towards the back of the space, where the kitchen and offices would be, so he wouldn't see her tears.

 _ **####**_

He was glad he decided to take her to Claybourne's. It seemed like a good place to start rebuilding their relationship. Music was the thing that had knit them together in the beginning, back when she still called him 'Deacon' and they were feeling their way through the new father-daughter dynamic. It was something easy and non-threatening for them to talk about.

As they drove downtown, he thought back to those early days, back when Rayna had talked to him about what his expectations were for his relationship with Maddie. She was skeptical, not only that he could do it, but that he would even want to. She had, of course, acknowledged that in those early days she had hoped he might not, and he supposed it might have been easier then had he not. Those had been difficult, complicated times, when his relationship with Rayna had been uneasy at best and chilly at worst. He'd had to fight Teddy, figuratively, for time with Maddie and had had to deal with the other man's insecurities when it came to how Maddie divided her time.

Eventually things had gotten less awkward and more comfortable, although there were still bumpy times on occasion, for all of them. But his time with Maddie had begun to feel more natural and their shared bond over music had helped them find their own rhythm. Eventually she'd started calling him 'Dad', which had touched him deeply. He felt a lump in his throat then and he glanced quickly over at her. She was looking out the window but, as if she'd sensed his gaze, she turned to look at him and smiled shyly. He gave her a quick smile and focused his attention back on the road.

It didn't feel completely comfortable being in such an enclosed space with her. He found himself uncharacteristically tongue-tied, not knowing how to even start a conversation with her. But he was determined to work at it, keep pushing forward, in hopes that, one day, things would ease and that bond would redevelop.

* * *

He was glad she was so excited about the place. Seeing her excitement had made it feel almost like the old days. They had shared a laugh over his use of the word 'charcuterie'. He thought it was a little too high-falutin' for his club, but Rayna had pooh-poohed his concern.

" _It's just meat and cheese, babe," she'd said. "Good meat and cheese, but meat and cheese nonetheless."_

 _He'd shaken his head and smiled. "I don't know why we don't just call it meat and cheese then. This fancy stuff might run 'em off."_

He smiled a little to himself. They would see what happened when the place opened. It wasn't like anything couldn't be changed. But then the mood had been broken when Maddie asked about playing there in the future. He didn't know why he couldn't answer her, but nothing came out of his mouth. As the silence dragged on, she turned away and then it had gone on too long and he knew nothing he said would be the right thing.

The ride home was awkward, not companionable like the ride over had been. He wanted to say something to her, to apologize somehow, but it was as though he couldn't come up with the right words. When they pulled in the drive, she got out, turning back to him briefly, with a tiny smile. "Thanks, Dad," she said. "I think Claybourne's is gonna be a really cool place." And then she turned and walked towards the house.

After a moment, he followed.

 _ **####**_

Rayna wondered where Deacon and Maddie were. Deacon's truck was gone when she and Daphne got home and Maddie was nowhere to be found. Her heart sank, thinking that things had gone badly and that he had left. She busied herself getting plates and silverware out, trying to settle her nerves, while Daphne put the take out cartons of Chinese food on the table.

When the back door opened, she looked up. Maddie walked through and then, a few steps behind, there was Deacon. _They've been together._ She smiled. She looked at Maddie. "Where've y'all been?" she asked.

"Oh, Dad took me to see his new club," she said. Rayna detected something in her tone and facial expression, but wasn't quite sure what it was. She looked over Maddie's shoulder at her husband and smiled, a glistening of tears in her eyes. He gave her a tight smile in return, his hands in his pockets. Something felt a little off, but she didn't want to make an issue of it.

She looked back at Maddie. "What did you think?" she asked, smiling at her daughter.

Maddie leaned against the kitchen island and fished her phone out of her purse. She glanced at it for a minute, then put it back down. "It's awesome," she said then. She glanced over at Deacon quickly, then back at her mom. "He said you're gonna have charcuterie," she said with a laugh.

Rayna grinned and looked at Deacon, who had a sheepish smile on his face. "Yeah, the meat and cheese plate," she said, laughing. "I just don't see why we can't have something a little nicer at our place, you know?"

Daphne was standing at the table, watching everyone talk, and then rolled her eyes. "Can we eat?" she asked querulously. "I'm hungry."

Deacon walked over and wrapped his arm around Daphne. "Yeah, let's eat. All this talk of…charcuterie is making me hungry too," he said, with a smile.

* * *

Later that night, after the girls had gone to bed, she and Deacon were on opposite sides of the bed, turning down the covers. She smiled at him. "Did y'all have a good afternoon?" she asked.

He looked at her and raised his eyebrows. "It was okay," he said. "It's still sorta awkward."

"Did the two of you talk?"

He had picked up a pillow and then he set it down, with a sigh. "You know, Ray, me and you, we spend all this time talking to Dr. Voris and I just decided that ain't what I wanna do with Maddie. I think we just need to _do_ things together, you know?"

She wasn't sure she understood. "I guess," she said slowly. "But…."

He walked around on her side of the bed. "I'm just done talking, Ray," he said. "Me and you, it feels sometimes like we're just going in circles, not fixing anything."

She frowned. "I don't think that's completely true," she countered. "I think we've made a lot of progress. We've talked out a lot of things and we've gotten real honest with each other. And I think that's good."

He nodded, getting a little closer to her. He took the pillow from her hands and tossed it on the bed. "It is," he said. "But I think what helps the most is when we just _do_ things together. The kinda stuff that brings us closer together." He slid his hands around her waist and pulled her closer. "You know what I mean?"

A slow smile crossed her face and she lifted her arms up and wrapped them around his neck. "I think I do," she said. "Are you saying that doing things you and Maddie liked doing before is what you think will help?"

He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the edges. "I do," he murmured. "But what I'd like to do now is do the things _we_ like to do. And just talk about _those_ things." He leaned in and brushed her lips with his, then nuzzled her neck. She felt a little quiver of desire.

She smiled up at him. "I think I'd like that too, babe," she whispered. And then he lifted her up off the floor and twirled her around, laying her back on the bed and then settling himself on top of her.

"I say let's stop talking and start doing," he said, with a smirk.

She laughed out loud and threaded her fingers through his hair. She let herself just feel the weight of him on her body and the rough callouses on his fingers as he slid his hands up under her t-shirt. She felt him hard against her thigh and she shifted herself a little, feeling a warmth blossoming in her core. "Sounds good to me," she purred.

 _ **####**_

Maddie started going to Claybourne's with Deacon a couple times a week. Each day she went, he would share what they had done since the last time she'd been there. Then, while he talked to contractors and watched over the construction, she would sit at the makeshift table with another set of blueprints spread out on it, and write. She would stay through lunch and they would test out various food items. The day they tried numerous variations of charcuterie, she had actually felt like there was more of an ease between the two of them, as they laughed together over the meat he thought was too salty or too chewy or too dry and the stinky cheeses.

The ease never completely lasted, though, usually ending in a long silence that eventually became strained and awkward. She decided to try asking questions that weren't as difficult as the ones she'd asked before, things she felt like were common ground between them, and that seemed to work better.

"How did you get started in the music business?" she asked, as she was sampling a pork slider that she thought was a tiny bit of heaven.

He finished chewing his own slider, closing his eyes and making a satisfied noise, before he looked back at her and answered. "At first, in Natchez," he said. "With your Aunt Beverly. Me and her would play at places around town, doing cover songs mainly. Johnny and June, Loretta and Conway, stuff like that."

She looked at him thoughtfully. "Did you write your own songs then?"

He shook his head. "Nothing we did. Not at first anyway. I mean, we was like fifteen and sixteen then, so it was before I started writing."

She smiled. "How old were you when you wrote your first song?"

He laughed softly. "Sixteen. And it was pretty bad. I wasn't near as good as you at writing then."

She grinned. "You didn't have a good teacher, I'll bet," she said.

"Well, you're right about that. But I kept at it. I had one or two we tried out, but they wasn't much good, so we pretty much stuck to covers."

She took another bite of the slider and chewed thoughtfully. After she swallowed, she looked at him. "So what about when you got to Nashville? Did you do your own songs then?"

He nodded. "I did. I went to every open mic I could get into. I didn't have a lot of songs at first, but I kept at it. Some were good. A lot were not. But I got better at it."

"When did you get to play the Bluebird for the first time?"

He smiled a little. "I was nineteen. I'd been trying for a year to get a spot. Back then you'd stand in line and just hope you got in. It's still a big deal for any new songwriter, but back in those days it was the only place like it in town. And it was a tough ticket." He sat back and looked up at the ceiling, as though he were remembering those days. "I thought I'd won the lottery that day." Then he sighed, his face getting a faraway look on it.

She nodded just slightly. "Was that when you met Mom?"

He didn't answer immediately, but then he looked at her. "I saw her the first time that night. Didn't actually meet her til later."

She rested her elbow on the table and leaned on her hand, smiling softly. "What did you think of her?" she asked. She could see something change in his face then. It was the way he often looked when he was looking at her mom, like he almost couldn't believe she was his.

"I thought she was the prettiest girl I'd ever seen. And she had the voice of an angel." He smiled a little self-consciously. "Everybody had their eyes on her."

"And she was there when you went on stage?"

He nodded. "She was." He paused a moment, then he sat up and cleared his throat, looking at her. "So, I need to drop you off with your mama, don't I?" He stood up.

She looked up at him. "We don't have to go right this minute," she said.

"Well, I gotta take care of some permit stuff anyway, so let's go ahead." He picked up his keys and headed towards the door.

She sighed. It was always like this. It seemed like every time they got a little comfortable with each other, he cut things short. She pushed up from the table and gathered up the trash. She threw it out on her way to the door where he stood waiting for her.

* * *

Rayna brought Maddie tea as they sat together on the couch at home. Deacon was still at the club and Daphne was having dinner at a friend's, so they settled in for a quiet evening. Rayna smiled at her daughter. "So how did it go today?" she asked.

Maddie took a sip of tea and then set it on the coffee table. "Well, I think we found the pork sliders," she said. "We had some that just about melted in your mouth, the meat _and_ the bun. We both approved. I think they'd be even better with a little bit of spicy slaw on them though."

Rayna made a face. "Well, I'm glad you made some food decisions, but that wasn't what I meant." She leaned forward just a little. "Did y'all get a chance to, you know, _talk_?"

Maddie shrugged. "I guess. I asked him about getting started in the music business and he told me about him and Aunt Bev. And then coming here. But when I asked him about meeting you he just clammed up and said we had to go." She looked at her mother, sadness etched on her face. "Mom, I don't understand why it's so hard for him to just talk to me. Or share with me, even this kind of stuff. It just feels like we'll never be okay."

Rayna looked at her sadly. "Oh, honey, don't give up," she said. "I know it's hard when you want something and it doesn't seem to go the way you want it to."

"It's not even that," Maddie replied, shaking her head. "It's like, you know, he's so closed off."

"I _do_ know," Rayna said, after taking a sip of tea. "He keeps things close. As much as he's all in when he's involved in something, he's also very close to the vest."

Maddie narrowed her eyes. "Has he always been like that?"

Rayna nodded. "Yeah. He had a tough life and I think he's afraid to share too much. And I think he wants to protect you – and me – from all the hard times he had. He doesn't want us to feel sorry for him, or pity him, and that's what he thinks will happen. Remember when I told you that sometimes alcoholics need to escape, even when they're not drinking?" Maddie nodded. "Well, I think it's just something he wants to escape from – the pain of feeling like he disappointed you."

Maddie sighed. "But he shares things with you."

Rayna shook her head sadly. "Mm, not as much as you'd think. I certainly saw him at his worst, but he still tried to hide his demons from me. He lived a really hard life, but I think he's tried to learn from that and be a better man." She reached out and tucked a strand of Maddie's hair behind her ear. "He loves us so much, Maddie, and he would do anything for us. Even if it feels sometimes like it's over the top." She took Maddie's hands in hers. "I think knowing that Frankie told you all those private things about him, things he shared in an environment he thought was safe and protected, really rocked him. He felt betrayed and it makes him even more cautious about sharing. To have the worst things in your life thrown out there for everyone to hear is hard for anyone, but maybe especially for him."

Maddie looked down at her lap. "When Cash came and told me all that, I didn't believe her at first," she said quietly. Then she looked up at her mother, her eyes filled with sorrow. "I didn't want to believe her. But she swore they were true and they would help me get what I wanted." She started to cry then. "And I was so angry then, Mom. I was so angry that you were holding me back but she said that if I told them I was afraid and if we brought up all those things, then the judge would let me emancipate."

Rayna felt a wave of anger wash over her at the damage Cash and Frankie had done, to their whole family. Then she took a deep breath. "I wish we'd known, sweet girl," she said. "I wish we'd known what she would do and how she would lead you away from us. But please, don't be scared of your father. He would never, _ever_ hurt you. I know that for sure."

Maddie nodded. "I do know that. But I never knew about his life and how hard it was. I never really didn't feel safe, not until Cash told me all of that. I guess throwing it all out there, without knowing the rest of the story, made it all seem scary."

Rayna leaned in closer. "He always loved you, Maddie. Always. The two of you always had such a close bond. And I think it's still there. He just was so heartbroken over the things that were said. It made him seem like a terrible person and he's just not. He really is the best man I know and we're lucky to have him."

Maddie smiled through her tears then and nodded. Rayna slid over and pulled her daughter into a hug.

 _ **####**_

As he walked the length of the house to the music room to find Maddie, Deacon thought about the conversation he and Rayna had had the night before. She tried not to interfere with his efforts – or lack thereof – to reconnect with their daughter, but this time she had felt compelled to speak.

 _He came out of the closet and rearranged his pillows on the bed. Rayna was already sitting in bed, under the covers, her hands folded on her lap. She looked over at him. "I've tried to stay out of all of this, but I have to say something," she said. He raised his eyebrows. "Babe, you really need to go deeper with Maddie. Don't shut her out."_

 _He scowled. "Rayna, I told you I don't want to revisit all that stuff."_

" _I'm not asking you to. But you aren't opening up to her at all. She's just trying to get back to the place y'all were before all of this, like you said you wanted. She just wants to try to connect again on the things you have in common. Music, songwriting, guitars." She looked at him with sadness in her eyes. "It sounds like y'all go part way, but she's feeling like you're still pulling away from her."_

" _I feel like every time she asks about how I met you or when I started performing or why I write the stuff I write, she's just trying to get me to go into those places I don't wanna go." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Me and you go to therapy once a week. I don't wanna do it with her."_

" _I don't think you have to. I think she understands now why it's not necessary. But she is trying to reach out. And I know you want to reach out too." She smiled. "Just remember how it's always been between the two of y'all. You always had such a close bond. She wants that again and I believe you do too, don't you?"_

 _He looked away and took a deep breath, then looked back at her. "I do. I don't want all this distance. But I can't help but think…."_

 _She smiled encouragingly. "Don't be afraid, babe. Just let her in. She's our daughter and we love her and she wants to be part of this family."_

 _He felt tears in his eyes and he had a lump in his throat. "I'll try," he whispered._

His footsteps slowed as he approached the music room doors. They were open slightly and he could hear her working on a chord series. He stood at the door, just out of view, listening. He had wondered, back when he'd first found out she was his, if her love for the guitar and her talent was somehow passed down from him to her. Even if it wasn't, he liked to think that somehow she had gotten that from him. She had been such a quick student when he started teaching her. He'd been blown away by how clever and nuanced her songwriting was, especially at such a young age.

He and Rayna had always said that music bound them together, even when they weren't together. It was part of the fabric of their connectedness and so he wasn't surprised, really, to find that it also connected him to their daughter. He stepped in closer and she stopped, looking up at him from where she sat. He cleared his throat. "Dinner's ready," he said.

"Okay," she said softly, not moving.

He breathed in. "That a new song?" She nodded. "Sounded good."

She smiled. "I've been working on it for a while. I'm still not finished." She shrugged. "It's probably one of the hardest songs I've ever tried to write, but it feels so important for me to do."

He walked over to the couch opposite her and sat down, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. "You wanna play it for me?" he asked.

She raised her eyebrows. "You really want to hear it?" she asked.

He nodded. "I do."

She took a deep breath and then started the melody. He listened, appreciating the delicate sound, watching her fingers play over the guitar strings. Then she started to sing.

 _This bed of nails, which way should I rest my head / I'll say a prayer, hoping someone hears / There's a hydroplane waiting behind these eyes / I could find a way to hold your smile, but I think I'll let go_

 _I'm living over and over / Not staying here divided, I've drawn my own line / I've talked my way out of the lie / I'm finding it's not a weakness, it's forgiving myself_

 _It's a game I've learned / To quiet the sounding shame / To quicken the guilt I feel when it's calling my name_

She stopped then. "That's as far as I got," she said.

He couldn't speak at first. He breathed in deeply and raised his hand to cover his mouth. As he did so, he realized it was shaking just a bit. Her words were powerful and spare, but also painted a picture of someone struggling to let go of the pain he'd caused, or believed he'd caused. He felt a knot growing in his stomach as the song seemed to invade his heart. "That's…powerful," he finally said, his voice rough with emotion.

She took a deep breath and set her guitar aside. She got up and walked over to the couch where he was and sat down next to him. "I wrote it for you, Dad," she said softly, and he could see her eyes get misty with tears.

He raised his eyebrows. "For me?" he asked, feeling overwhelmed.

She nodded. "I wish I could make everything that happened go away. I wish you'd been my dad all my life. I wish we'd had all that history we could have made together so that all of this wouldn't matter." She raised up her shoulders and then dropped them. "I don't need to know all the dark stuff. I'm sorry you were betrayed the way you were. But I do know you're a good man and a good dad and I want you to forgive yourself for the past." She breathed in. "And then I hope you'll forgive me, for bringing it back."

As he listened to her, he could feel a tightening in his chest, his mouth felt dry, and he swallowed over the lump in his throat. _Three chords and the truth._ She did it as well as anyone. Maybe better. He could feel a tear trail down his cheek. When she finished talking, she watched him, and he could see that as the seconds went by she seemed sad, as though she felt like she'd fallen flat, again.

She was his daughter, the daughter he'd never known he wanted until he knew she was his. He'd loved her because she was Rayna's and then he loved her more because they had made her together. She was headstrong and willful, like Rayna. And she was impulsive, like him, leading with her heart and her emotions. He had caused Rayna immeasurable pain, so much so that she had hidden Maddie from him all those years, even while she kept him close. She'd forgiven him, the same as he'd forgiven her. Now it was time to forgive their daughter, for the impulsiveness that had torn them apart. Suddenly, in a rush, he felt all the tension, all the anger, all the pain leave him. He reached for her then and pulled her into his arms and she burst into tears as she clung to him.

 _ **I will wrap this up with an epilogue. Hope you've enjoyed this journey!**_


	14. Chapter 14

_**Epilogue**_

 **Eighteen Months Later**

Avery Barkley was scrolling through the latest music news on his iPad when a small story caught his attention. "Hey, Juliette!" he called out.

She walked into the living room with Cadence in her arms. She set the toddler down and the little girl ran over to the pile of blocks on the floor and started stacking them. Juliette looked at her daughter fondly, then back at her husband. "What?" she asked.

He looked at her with a frown. "Have you heard about this?" he asked.

She walked over and sat down next to him, peering at his screen. "Heard what?"

He pointed at the short news item. He started reading. "'Sources tell us that Lennox Hill Records has dumped Maddie Jaymes after only one poorly received album. Jaymes is the daughter of country music superstar Rayna Jaymes and her husband, country guitar legend Deacon Claybourne. Jaymes was signed to great fanfare less than two years ago, but never quite lived up to the huge buzz that surrounded her. When she was signed to Lennox Hill, it was seen as quite the coup for the indie pop label, as Jaymes had successfully emancipated from her mother and had her Highway 65 contract voided. Is this the end for the young talent initially billed as the next Taylor Swift?'"

"What?" Juliette cried, pulling the iPad away from him and staring at it. Then she looked at him with anger in her eyes and practically threw the iPad back at him. She jumped up from the couch and ran to get her phone, scrolling down to find Glenn's name. She stabbed at his name and lifted the phone to her ear, frowning, her hand on her hip as she looked at Avery. "What the hell, Glenn?" she shouted when he answered.

Avery sat back and just watched his wife with amusement, not really listening to her side of the call. He knew she'd give him a blow-by-blow recap when she hung up. Cadence toddled over to him just then and he reached down and picked her up. He settled her in his lap and then nodded towards Juliette. "Let's watch your mama get all worked up, baby girl," he whispered to her.

Cadence turned her face towards him and giggled. "Mama funny," she said.

Avery grinned at his daughter. "Yes, she is," he agreed. Just then, Juliette disconnected the phone. She had a look on her face as though she'd just smelled something really bad. "So it's true, I take it?" he asked.

Juliette glared at him. "Apparently so," she said angrily. "Of course, she should never have signed with those scumbags in the first place. She should have signed with Tupelo Creek, according to Glenn, and that witch she was hanging around with talked her out of it." She made an irritated noise. "I still can't believe Rayna and Deacon let that snake near her in the first place." She collapsed on the couch next to Avery and plucked Cadence off his lap and settled her on her own. She leaned over and cooed into the little girl's ear and then looked back at her husband. "I wish I'd been around then," she said, with a sigh, sadness in her eyes. "Maybe if I'd been around she'd have turned to me instead of someone who only cared about what was in it for her."

Avery furrowed his brow. "I don't know if Rayna and Deacon would have thought you were the right person to mentor their daughter either," he said, and then winked at her.

Juliette rolled her eyes. "Oh, I know I'm the last person they'd take advice from, but I think they _do_ know I care about her." She looked sadly at Avery. "I know it has to be heartbreaking for her, but at the same time I think it's the best thing that ever happened to her. I listened to her EP and, to be honest, it was crap. I think every song on there she either wrote with that skank or they found her something similar to it. Not her style or her voice. At all. She's better off finding somewhere else to be."

Avery smiled at her. "So what's your plan?" he asked.

Juliette wrinkled her nose. "No plan," she said. "I'll help her if she wants me to, but she's still got Glenn and he'll make sure she's okay."

"Think Rayna will sign her?"

Juliette looked thoughtful. "I don't know. I actually think Maddie would be better off going with someone else, like maybe Tupelo Creek, if they're still interested. It might be good for her to keep that separation. I'll call her later and see where her head's at." She made a face. "Oh, God, Cadence," she said. "You're a stinker." She got up from the couch, holding the little girl out and away from her, as she swiftly walked back to Cadence's room.

 _ **####**_

When Rayna padded into the kitchen, Deacon looked up from the laptop in front of him on the counter. He watched her as she poured herself a mug of coffee. He couldn't help but smile. _God, she's a beautiful woman._ It had been nearly two years since they'd hit rock bottom, when Maddie had successfully emancipated from Rayna and they had nearly lost their way in the wake. It had taken some time, and a really good therapist, to help them find their way in that new landscape. Luckily Maddie had come back to them quickly and they had come through it all stronger than ever. Rayna turned towards him, then leaned on the counter top opposite him. "Is it everywhere?" she asked.

He nodded. "Yep."

She sighed. "I have such mixed feelings about it," she said.

"I know. Me too. She got bad advice, for sure."

She walked around the island to stand next to him, looking over his shoulder at the screen. "Is it bad?"

He shrugged. "Not really. I think it's more that she's our daughter that makes it news." He looked at her. "You gonna try to sign her?"

She gave him a quick smile. "I've thought about that. Would you be surprised to know that I'm not sure?"

He shook his head. "I think it's what people will expect. She's your daughter, you have a label, she was signed there before." He put his arm around her waist and pulled her close. "If you want to give her an offer, you could, see what she thinks. I really think it'd be good just to give her some space though."

She put her hand on the back of his neck, threading her fingers through the hair on his nape. She leaned in for a brief kiss and then smiled. "I think you're right." She kissed him again, letting her lips linger against his a little longer this time, letting her hand drift down his back. "Did she say anything to you after she heard from Glenn?"

He shook his head. "Nah. She ain't even brought it up. Just kinda kept to herself about it."

She was quiet for a moment. "Maybe she'll talk to you about how she's feeling. What she wants to do next. Now that she's had a night to sleep on it."

He stood up, sliding his arm up and over her shoulder, pulling her close and planting a kiss on the top of her head. "Maybe," he said with a smile. "You want me to do a fishing expedition?"

She looked up at him. "No, of course not. But, you know, she confides in you a lot. Just be there. To listen."

* * *

Later that morning, he walked over to the music room. He could hear the sound of the guitar, stopping and starting, as though the person playing was jotting down the music as they went. He stood just inside the door, leaning against the door jamb. Maddie was huddled over her guitar with a notebook beside her on the couch. She looked up when she heard his footsteps. "Hey," he said.

She gave him a sad smile. "Hey." She set her guitar aside. "So how come you're still here?" she asked.

"Don't need to go in. Helps having a good manager." He nodded towards her notebook. "What you working on?"

She sighed. "Just some songs I'd kind of put off before." He walked over and sat down next to her. "Because, you know, it wasn't the right sound." She rolled her eyes, making a face, then all of a sudden tears appeared in her eyes.

He frowned, reaching out and putting his arm around her shoulders. "Hey, it's gonna be okay," he said.

She looked up at him, trying to smile through the tears. "You know, I'm actually really glad this happened because I really hated it there, but it's so embarrassing. I caused all that trouble for nothing, really."

He rubbed his hand up and down her arm. "Hey, it's not nothing. Sometimes we gotta learn and it ain't always easy. But it ain't the end of the world either."

"I was just so miserable, Dad." She sighed. "It seemed easy at first, writing those songs with Cash, but when she was gone it didn't seem…authentic. It wasn't _me_ , you know?"

He raised his eyebrows and nodded. "I _do_ know."

"You never had to compromise yourself though," she said.

He shook his head. "That ain't completely true. I did have to fight for what I wanted on my albums. But then neither one did that well either. But I made compromises. Like staying in your mama's band."

She looked surprised. "But I thought you wanted to do that."

"Oh, I did. I wanted my own career too though. But she needed me. And I loved her. So I sacrificed, for her. I stayed in the background for a lotta years. And when I did get a shot, well, you know. I went out with Luke. I wouldn't have done that, except I wanted my shot. So I compromised there."

Maddie sighed. "Yeah, I guess." She looked at him with a question in her eyes. "So did Mom know you wanted your own career?"

Deacon nodded. "She did. And she supported me. Let me know I could go if I wanted." He hugged her. "And we'll do that for you too."

"I don't know what to do."

"You don't gotta decide now."

She sat back against the arm of the couch and nodded. "I know. I think maybe I want to just take some time. Figure out what's next."

He smiled encouragingly. "Sounds like a really good plan to me."

She bit her lip. "Do you think Mom would be mad if I took a break?" she asked.

He frowned. "She would want you to do the best thing for you, Maddie," he said. "You know that."

She took a deep breath. "Even if it meant not signing with Highway 65?" she asked, a little hesitantly. "Or working with Daphne?"

He reached out and took her hand. The hardest part of having Maddie back in their lives had been remembering she was independent and on her own. Even though she was now eighteen, the fact that she had been emancipated meant she made her own decisions and choices. She often asked their opinion, but she set her own direction. He knew it was still tougher for Rayna and, although she would accept Maddie's decisions, she would be disappointed, he knew. "Baby, you make whatever decisions are right for you," he said then. "She _will_ understand. I promise."

She smiled then and leaned in to hug him. "Thanks, Dad, for being so supportive," she said.

"Of course, sweet girl," he said, with a smile. "I just hate how it all went down for you." She nodded, but didn't say anything. He thought for a moment about how far they'd come in the past year and a half. They all had, rebuilding their family. It wasn't always easy, but he was grateful they'd found their way. He raised his eyebrows. "So why don't you take a break and come down to the club with me?"

She looked at him and smirked. "I thought you didn't need to go."

He grinned sheepishly. "Well…I hate to not at least check in." He stood up. "Come on," he said. She laughed and got up as well, following him out the door.

 _ **####**_

Maddie was spending most of her days in the music room. Sometimes she just sat and brooded, but mostly she wrote. She knew she didn't have to make any decisions right away, but she also didn't like the feeling of being at loose ends. She had told her dad the truth when she said she was glad to not be tied to Lennox Hill anymore. As excited as she'd been the day she signed her contract, she felt nothing but relief to be free of that. She knew that the whole debacle with Vince Pierce had tainted her time with the label. It didn't matter that he was a scumbag and that his career had effectively been ended then, she was seen as a troublemaker and someone who didn't know her place.

She looked up at the knock at the door. She smiled happily when she saw Juliette standing there. She jumped up and hurried over to hug her friend. "I am so glad to see you," she said.

They walked over to the couch and sat down. Juliette took her hands and smiled at her. "How you doing?" she asked.

Maddie nodded. "Good. I'm really good," she said.

Juliette looked at her carefully. "I hope so," she said. She sat back. "So what's next?"

Maddie shrugged. "I don't know yet. I really, really don't want to make any quick decisions this time."

"That's smart," Juliette said. "Take some time and think about what you really want to do."

Maddie smirked. "Well, I already know what _that_ is. I want to be just like you." She laughed.

Juliette smiled, but she shook her head. "Oh, I don't know if that's such a good idea. I'm not exactly the best role model. And certainly not one your parents would want you to emulate."

Maddie made a face. "I'm pretty sure that as long as it's not Cash, they don't care."

Juliette rolled her eyes. "God, Maddie, I don't know what you were thinking, getting involved with her. You know, I asked around about her and didn't hear much that was good. Kacey actually had to kick her off her tour when she got too much in her business."

Maddie looked surprised. "I didn't know that. I thought she was writing with Kacey."

"Oh, God, no. Well, I guess she tried, but Kacey didn't like her style. And then she got a little crazy."

Maddie breathed in. "I guess I was the last to know," she said softly, feeling a little foolish.

Juliette frowned and leaned in, reaching for her hand. "Oh, no, no, don't feel like that. I'm just glad it's all over. And that you're back in Nashville where you belong."

Maddie smiled wistfully. "I feel like there are so many expectations, though, you know? I mean, nobody's really talked to me about it, well, except for Dad a little bit. I keep waiting for Mom to ask me about signing with Highway 65. And for Daphne to want us to be a duo."

Juliette looked at her compassionately. "And you don't want to do any of that, I take it."

"I don't know," Maddie said with a shrug. "I'm just not sure of anything right now. Well, except that I want to write the kind of songs I used to write. The music that's me."

"If you could do anything right now, what would it be?" Juliette asked.

"I think I'd just like to be able to try out all this new music I'm writing. See what people like. Explore all the possibilities." She smiled shyly and lifted her shoulder. "And then decide."

Juliette smiled and sat back. "Then I think that's exactly what you should do."

 _ **####**_

When the back door opened, Daphne looked up from where she sat on the couch in the den. She watched Maddie walk in and put her purse on the counter. Daphne thought she had a somewhat thoughtful look on her face. "Hey, Maddie," she said, and Maddie turned towards her, a smile lighting up her face.

"Hey, Daphne," she said, as she walked over to where Daphne was sitting. She seemed genuinely happy to see her there. "Where are Mom and Dad?"

Daphne set aside her history book and sat up. "Mom's at Bridgestone. The Exes are playing tonight. And Deacon's at the club." She smirked. "Where he always is."

Maddie laughed and sat down next to her sister. "He's not _always_ there," she said.

Daphne shrugged. "Well, a lot. And he's there tonight. I think they're having a showcase or something."

"I wonder who he's showcasing," Maddie mused.

Daphne looked down. "I don't know." She looked back at her sister. "I keep hoping I'll get a showcase someday."

Maddie knitted her brow. "You're still signed to Highway 65, right?" Daphne nodded solemnly. "What's going on with that?"

"Nothing." Daphne frowned. "I get to go on stage with Mom sometimes, when she does a show, or I get to go to Deacon's place once in a while, but nothing." She looked at Maddie. "When Mom signed us, it was _us_ , Maddie. And now there's no _us_ , so there's no me either."

Maddie looked surprised. "I'm sure that's not true, Daphne." She smiled then. "I'm sure Mom's told you the same thing she told me – that she wants to protect you. And be careful with the places you perform."

Daphne scowled. "It's not even that, Maddie. I don't want to do this by myself. I want to sing with _you_. And I've been waiting, ever since you got kicked off your label, for you to come talk to me about that, but you haven't. And you haven't talked to Mom and Deacon about it either, because I asked." She stopped and took a breath, after saying everything in a rush. She felt more sad than angry. "Are we ever going to perform together again? Because that's what I want. It's what I always wanted."

Maddie sat back and looked a little uncomfortable. She looked away and ran her tongue over her lips, taking a deep breath. She finally looked back at Daphne, who wanted to burst into tears. "The truth is, I don't know what I want to do next," she said gently. "I made so many mistakes and now I have the chance to do things right." She smiled at her sister. "I love singing with you, Daphne. I do. And I do want us to do that more. But I don't know if that's what I want for my career. Please don't be mad."

Daphne couldn't hide her tears anymore and turned her face away, trying to get herself under control. When she finally turned back she saw that Maddie had tears in her eyes as well. "I don't want to be mad," she said. "But that was all I ever wanted. I loved performing with you. I don't really want to be on my own, like you."

"But why not?" Maddie asked. "You have a beautiful voice."

She took a deep breath. "I think I'm like Deacon was. I like being the support. He told me that he had wanted to be out front too, but after a while he thought it was better supporting Mom. And he was happy doing that. I think I would be happy doing that. With you."

Maddie reached for Daphne's hand and smiled softly. "I love singing with you, Daphne. That won't ever change. I just don't know what I want to do next. You never know, maybe I will want to go back to duets." She squeezed her sister's hand. "But I might not. And actually, I think that won't be the way I go. But that shouldn't hold you back."

Daphne was quiet at first and then she pulled her hand away slowly. She sighed and then got up from the couch and looked down at Maddie. "I want you to follow your dream, Maddie," she said. "But I really was hoping, when you came home, that we could do it together. And I waited, hoping you'd change your mind." She breathed out. "I just really miss singing with you."

Maddie got up and pulled Daphne into a hug. "Maybe Dad will let us sing together at Claybourne's," she said. "I could ask him."

Daphne peered closely at her sister. In the last year and a half, she'd gone through a growth spurt and was now just barely a head shorter than Maddie, which made her feel less like a kid. "Maddie, so much has changed," she said. "Dad went to prison and you got emancipated and everything just was all mixed up. And I'm not a little kid anymore."

"I know you're not," Maddie said. She took a deep breath. "How about this? While I'm figuring out what's next, you and I can sing together. Whether it's at Dad's place or somewhere else. We can still do that. We can _always_ do that. It may not be what both of us do completely, but we can do it for now."

Daphne smiled. "I would love that," she said. "I really would."

 _ **####**_

After checking on Daphne, Rayna headed for Maddie's room. As she always did, she said a quick little prayer of thanks that Maddie still seemed to want to be close to them. She wondered, sometimes, if she'd ever lose the vague sadness that still seemed to linger after the emancipation situation. She'd been deeply hurt by Maddie's turning away and by her actions in making that happen. She was always aware of the fact that Maddie didn't have to be with them, that she chose to anyway, and that seemed to help.

In the aftermath of that, she and Deacon had spent nearly a year in therapy which, while painful, had helped them sort through all the complicated pieces of their lives together. As hard as that year had been, it had felt healing – and necessary – to get them where they were today. She had felt relieved, and she knew Deacon had as well, to confirm they truly were meant for each other. It had helped to dissect the pain and darkness of their relationship, to ensure they didn't repeat those old patterns. What she had been afraid of, and had tried to shield herself from with Teddy and Luke, had been worked through and resolved and she'd never felt happier. And the fact that they had their family together had made it all the sweeter.

She stood at Maddie's door, leaning against the door jamb. Maddie looked up. "Hey, sweet girl," she said.

Maddie smiled. "Hey, Mom. How were Scarlett and Gunnar?"

Rayna smiled. "Good, as always."

"Is Dad home yet?"

Rayna shook her head. "Not yet. But he called me while I was on the way home and said he'd be leaving shortly." She walked over to Maddie's bed and sat down. She reached out and touched the notebook Maddie had been writing in. "What are you working on?" she asked, with a smile.

Maddie shrugged. "Just working on some songs. I'd written down bits and pieces of things over the past year or so. You know, stuff I couldn't use at Lennox Hill." She made a face. "But now I want to finish them. Or figure out if they're worth finishing."

Rayna had been impressed with the touch Maddie had seemed to have with respect to songwriting, at a very early age. The songs she'd worked on with Deacon had been brilliant, which had made it all the harder to reconcile that with the totally out of character songs she'd written with Cash. The song she'd heard Maddie perform during her showcase had made her stomach turn. It had none of the delicate nuance she'd had before and, in Rayna's opinion, had been straight up trash. She hoped her daughter was moving away from that kind of songwriting. "It was always harder for me to write by myself," she said. She blushed a little. "I was so embarrassed after your father listened to some of the songs I wrote when I first met him."

Maddie looked surprised. "Did he tell you they were bad or something?" she asked.

Rayna laughed. "Or something. You know, he was always sweet enough not to tell me they weren't good. He would make a suggestion or ask me some question to make me think about things another way."

Maddie gasped. "Oh my God, he's done that with me too," she said. "Oh, wow."

Rayna reached for her daughter's hand and squeezed it gently. "He's such a wonderful songwriter. He always thinks he's bad with words or public speaking, but he writes such beautiful lyrics. He always made me better. And I'm guessing he made you better too." She winked. "We're very lucky to have him."

Maddie nodded. "Yeah, we are." She smiled knowingly at her mom. "So ask me. I know you want to."

Rayna smiled a little sheepishly. "I guess I'm too easy to read," she said, with a chuckle. "Do you know what you want to do next? Where you want to go?"

Maddie shook her head. "I don't, for sure. But I was hoping maybe I could just be part of the family for a little while, while I figure it out." She smiled then. "And I had an idea that I wanted to talk to you about."

 _ **####**_

Deacon walked up onto the stage at the club. It wasn't unusual for him to do that, but tonight was kind of a special night and he was feeling inexplicably nervous. He leaned into the microphone and put a smile on his face. "Thank y'all for coming out tonight," he said. "So, for those of y'all that don't know me, I'm Deacon Claybourne, the owner of this joint." There was enthusiastic applause and cheering. "I see a lot of familiar faces out there, but new ones too. We're always happy to have new people check us out and we appreciate all y'all who keep coming back." There was more applause. He put his hands in his pockets. "I opened this place about a year and a half ago. I wanted it to be a place where singers and songwriters could come and try out new stuff or launch a career. I wanna say I never coulda done this without the support of my wife, Rayna." He took one hand out of his pocket and pointed towards the back of the room where she stood. She smiled and waved at the enthusiastic response.

He took a deep breath. "She's been the one constant in my life. I couldn't have done none of this without her." She was smiling a smile he knew was just for him and he smiled back. "I also couldn't have done this without my family. One of the things I've learned, not just over the last year and a half, but over maybe the last fifteen years or so, is how important family is. How important _my_ family is. My family of friends as well as my blood family. And then the family Rayna and I made together." He stopped for the applause and smiled a little sheepishly. "Having my wife and both my daughters here tonight is extra special." He looked over at Maddie and Daphne, standing next to Rayna, and smiled at both of them. "So I'd like them to come up on stage here with me and we'll do a little family number for y'all."

 _His family._ There had been a time when he never thought he'd have this. And when it finally happened, a series of bad decisions had almost destroyed it. He and Rayna never forgot how fortunate they were to have Maddie back and, now that all of that time was behind them, they were ready to move forward together, all four of them. This night would be the beginning of that and it was Maddie who had come up with the idea.

As Rayna and the girls made their way through the crowd to the stage, he walked over and picked up his guitar from the stand, while someone set up four stools across the stage. Rayna approached him first, sliding her arms around his waist for a hug, leaning in to brush his lips with a kiss and a sweet smile. She went and sat on one of the end stools. Daphne came up next and he hugged her tight, whispering "I love you" in her ear. She grinned and went to sit next to Rayna. Then Maddie stood before him and he slid his arm around her shoulders, drawing her in and kissing her forehead, grateful, as he was every day, that she was here with them. He took the other end stool and Maddie sat beside him with her own guitar.

He leaned towards the mike. "I wrote this song a really long time ago, but I think it's stood the test of time." He paused for a moment. "I should tell you that this is a kickoff of sorts. Rayna, Maddie, Daphne and me are gonna work on some music together and do a little performing together. Tonight's our first night." As the crowd enthusiastically cheered the news, he turned towards Rayna and the girls and smiled, then looked back. "I definitely gotta life that's good, ya know? Hope y'all enjoy."

He and Maddie started the intro and then he smiled as they all started to sing. _Sittin' here tonight / By the fire light / It reminds me I already have more than I should / I don't need fame / No one to know my name / At the end of the day, Lord I pray, I have a life that's good…._

 _ **The End**_


End file.
